I would like to start a new topic.. To
anyone who has ever had a spouse of
girlfriend/boyfriend cheat on you.
What where your feelings?
How did you handle it?
Did you stay together? If so, did you make
changes in the relationship?
Did you try and just give up?
Affairs happen all the time. Please give a
little impute on how your dealt with "The
Affair"
Thank You.
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someoneneedsadvice
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2007 Posts: 6
Yes Posted: 05-07-07 13:41pm
I have been cheated on by my husband of
almost 4 years. He did this about 2 yrs
ago - starting looking on net for someone,
then got with a mom that would bring her
kids over to play. They had planned on
having sex but did not & instead just
messed around some. So we seperated &
then a few months go by & we decide to
get back together - that same week he
screwed someone else & I did not find
out about it until this year in about Feb
- after we had a baby together. Now he is
on the prowl again - having the need to
cheat. I forgave for the other times -
not sure if I can anymore. Other than
that we have a great relationship! He
cooks, cleans, does laundry, watches baby
- always does the sweetest things for me
& surprises me with presents. He says
he is so good to me because I put up with
his faults.
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manofDhaus
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2007 Posts: 3 Location: USA
Posted: 05-16-07 21:49pm
I felt so bad about it and even blamed
myself for a while. I suddenly felt so
insecure that I decided to let her go,
though I'm still in love with her.
_______________
Justin
*edit: please do not post links in your
sig.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 05-17-07 06:40am
I've been cheated on,or so I think.I have
no proof I just know.I am not a suicidal
person but I almost drove my car into a
dich going 50mph.I hurt so bad,more thn I
ever hurt from *anyone* I just wanted to
die.I let it go and we ended up breaking
up later btu then got back together.there
were more problems than that involoved but
he managed to fix most of them and we were
happy and fought way less.trust is not and
probably never will be completely restored
but i can try right?
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 05-17-07 07:10am
~*~Melissa~*~
wrote:
I've been cheated on,or so I
think.I have no proof I just know.I am not
a suicidal person but I almost drove my
car into a dich going 50mph.I hurt so
bad,more thn I ever hurt from *anyone* I
just wanted to die.I let it go and we
ended up breaking up later btu then got
back together.there were more problems
than that involoved but he managed to fix
most of them and we were happy and fought
way less.trust is not and probably never
will be completely restored but i can try
right?
Melissa. I know your pain it hurt worst
than anything in this life. Having someone
you thought would never cheat on you
betray you is just awful.. But some times
the reason people cheat can change and the
relationship even be better.
I don't think in every case " once a
cheater always a cheater" I think men and
women grow apart and look for what they
had in another person. Some find out it
was wrong and go back and the relationship
grows back to what it was. That
relationship can survive.
I don't believe you can ever fully trust
again.
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Re: Yes Posted: 05-17-07 07:11am
someoneneedsadvice
wrote:
I have been cheated on by my
husband of almost 4 years. He did this
about 2 yrs ago - starting looking on net
for someone, then got with a mom that
would bring her kids over to play. They
had planned on having sex but did not
& instead just messed around some. So
we seperated & then a few months go by
& we decide to get back together -
that same week he screwed someone else
& I did not find out about it until
this year in about Feb - after we had a
baby together. Now he is on the prowl
again - having the need to cheat. I
forgave for the other times - not sure if
I can anymore. Other than that we have a
great relationship! He cooks, cleans,
does laundry, watches baby - always does
the sweetest things for me & surprises
me with presents. He says he is so good to
me because I put up with his
faults.
I don't think I could keep on going with a
man that hurt me that bad. But I all so
said I would never stay with a man that
cheated and I did. But it hurts so bad I
don't think I couild go through it another
time..
I'm sorry for your pain!!
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 05-17-07 07:12am
manofDhaus
wrote:
I felt so bad about it and
even blamed myself for a while. I
suddenly felt so insecure that I decided
to let her go, though I'm still in love
with her.
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 05-17-07 07:23am
2 weeks before I was supposed to get
married I found out my ex cheated on me
with is best friend's wife. We had so
much money into the wedding, we had family
coming from all over, and I didn't think I
could let everyone down, so I married him
anyway. I thought I could forgive him,
but I never got over it. I never could
get the image of him with her out of my
head, and it made me bitter. The
promiscuous person and her husband mended
their relationship and my ex and his
friend began talking again. My ex had the
nerve to want us to all hang out like we
used to. .N.O.T!!!
We split after a year of marriage.
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 05-17-07 07:25am
Mommy35
wrote:
2 weeks before I was
supposed to get married I found out my ex
cheated on me with is best friend's wife.
We had so much money into the wedding, we
had family coming from all over, and I
didn't think I could let everyone down, so
I married him anyway. I thought I could
forgive him, but I never got over it. I
never could get the image of him with her
out of my head, and it made me bitter.
The promiscuous person and her husband
mended their relationship and my ex and
his friend began talking again. My ex had
the nerve to want us to all hang out like
we used to. .N.O.T!!!
We split after a year of
marriage.
and now you are remarried and have a
child?? Happy?
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Re: Yes Posted: 05-17-07 08:10am
meblonde01
wrote:
I don't think I could keep on going with a
man that hurt me that bad. But I all so
said I would never stay with a man that
cheated and I did. But it hurts so
bad I don't think I couild go through it
another time..
I'm sorry for your
pain!!
ditto. . .
Mommy35
wrote:
2 weeks before I was
supposed to get married I found out my ex
cheated on me with is best friend's wife.
We had so much money into the wedding, we
had family coming from all over, and I
didn't think I could let everyone down, so
I married him anyway. I thought I could
forgive him, but I never got over it. I
never could get the image of him with her
out of my head, and it made me bitter.
The promiscuous person and her husband
mended their relationship and my ex and
his friend began talking again. My ex had
the nerve to want us to all hang out like
we used to. .N.O.T!!!
We split after a year of
marriage.
don't you wish they could
just keep it in their effin pants?my god.
. .but I would definetly not be able to
stay with someone I knew was activly
cheating. . .
my mother cheated on my father and she
ended it when she confessed. she thought
it was still ok to talk to him on the
phone and hang out,which was totally
inapropriate.she blamed the fsmily pretty
much that we were putting so much stress
on her and a lot of probles bertween her
and my father.Imo,tht was *not* the way to
handle it.I asw it coming and I was so
angry at her for it when she did it. . .I
felt like she cheated my whole family. .
.what made it worse was that they both
worked a tthe same place I did and
everyone knew,because someone followed
them after they left work one day and
caught them in the act.I was mortified.and
I am over it but talking about it just
maked me think how disgusted I was. . .
what about you meblonde?
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 05-17-07 08:38am
No, I'm not remarried, but I am in a
wonderful relationship and yes, I have the
most amazing baby, who will be 2 months
old on Monday.
It would be great if he could have kept it
in his pants, but if he hadn't my life
would be much different I'm sure, so I
guess I should thank him. I married him
dispite his cheating because I was a
single mother, he was a nice man, and he
loved my daughter like she was his own. I
was afraid I'd never find a man who
accepted my daughter. Stupid thinking I
know, but I was young.
I couldn't be with a man who was actively
cheating now. In fact, if I found out
.Mike was cheating today he'd be gone by
sundown for sure. I am older, wiser, and
wouldn't put up with it now, but I can see
why women do.
|
meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Re: Yes Posted: 05-17-07 09:10am
~*~Melissa~*~
wrote:
meblonde01
wrote:
I don't think I could keep on going with a
man that hurt me that bad. But I all so
said I would never stay with a man that
cheated and I did. But it hurts so
bad I don't think I couild go through it
another time..
I'm sorry for your
pain!!
ditto. . .
Mommy35
wrote:
2 weeks before I was
supposed to get married I found out my ex
cheated on me with is best friend's wife.
We had so much money into the wedding, we
had family coming from all over, and I
didn't think I could let everyone down, so
I married him anyway. I thought I could
forgive him, but I never got over it. I
never could get the image of him with her
out of my head, and it made me bitter.
The promiscuous person and her husband
mended their relationship and my ex and
his friend began talking again. My ex had
the nerve to want us to all hang out like
we used to. .N.O.T!!!
We split after a year of
marriage.
don't you wish they could
just keep it in their effin pants?my god.
. .but I would definetly not be able to
stay with someone I knew was activly
cheating. . .
my mother cheated on my father and she
ended it when she confessed. she thought
it was still ok to talk to him on the
phone and hang out,which was totally
inapropriate.she blamed the fsmily pretty
much that we were putting so much stress
on her and a lot of probles bertween her
and my father.Imo,tht was *not* the way to
handle it.I asw it coming and I was so
angry at her for it when she did it. . .I
felt like she cheated my whole family. .
.what made it worse was that they both
worked a tthe same place I did and
everyone knew,because someone followed
them after they left work one day and
caught them in the act.I was mortified.and
I am over it but talking about it just
maked me think how disgusted I was. . .
what about you
meblonde?
yes I was cheated on too. After being with
my H for 20 years, we had grown apart. I
was more concerned with home and job then
I was with him and his needs anymore. I
thought we where stable and we would
always be just fine. I always said I would
never stay with a man that cheated on me..
H found a girl at work giving him all
kinds of attention and wanting to do
things with him I use to do. So he took up
with her, for 2 weeks I thought I was
going to die! I did not beg him back I
just told him how I felt and let him do
his thing while all the time I was dieing
inside. He Cried every time he came over
for anything and after awhile he realized
me loved me and could not be without me
and that me made a Big mistake. I forgave
him. I felt I was to blame for some of it.
I'm not saying that gave him a reason to
cheat, But to tell you the truth, I would
have cheated on me too. That was just over
a year ago. We are loving and caring
toward each other and we do everything
together again. He tells me over and over
he does not know how he could ever hurt me
like he did. I feel very loved.. BUT if he
ever did it again.. I would not go through
the pain.. To he honest it would not hurt
as bad the next time.. So out the door he
goes!!
Word of advice. Stay close to what you
where when you first met. Because when it
leaves is when another person can move in
and replace you.. I know that sound hard
because we all change, but believe me
there is a lot of truth in it. People
don’t look on the other side for greener
grass if the grass stays green and
doesn’t turn brown
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Re: Yes Posted: 05-17-07 12:13pm
meblonde01
wrote:
BUT if he ever did it
again.. I would not go through the pain..
To he honest it would not hurt as bad the
next time.. So out the door he goes!!
Word of advice. Stay close to what you
where when you first met. Because when it
leaves is when another person can move in
and replace you.. I know that sound hard
because we all change, but believe me
there is a lot of truth in it. People
don’t look on the other side for greener
grass if the grass stays green and
doesn’t turn
brown
me too,if I ever found he
did it again,it would be a lot easier.I
never could figure out why.maybe because I
always have my guard up or I still had
some pride left in me and didn't want to
be hurt again. . .
Your advise is great,and i also try to
follow the same thing!
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Re: Yes Posted: 05-17-07 12:23pm
~*~Melissa~*~
wrote:
meblonde01
wrote:
BUT if he ever did it
again.. I would not go through the pain..
To he honest it would not hurt as bad the
next time.. So out the door he goes!!
Word of advice. Stay close to what you
where when you first met. Because when it
leaves is when another person can move in
and replace you.. I know that sound hard
because we all change, but believe me
there is a lot of truth in it. People
don’t look on the other side for greener
grass if the grass stays green and
doesn’t turn
brown
me too,if I ever found he
did it again,it would be a lot easier.I
never could figure out why.maybe because I
always have my guard up or I still had
some pride left in me and didn't want to
be hurt again. . .
Your advise is great,and i also try to
follow the same
thing!
I figure is you are a good wife.
suporrting, loving and caring, If he does
it again there is no guilt on your behalf.
I'm not saying being a mouse or wall
flower. Just be yourself, but stay focused
on a good relationship and all the nice
them that go along with it.
Happy?