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confused_guy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2003
Posts: 8
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Am I the Father???????
Posted: 02-18-04 22:57pm
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Hello everybody. I have a problem and I
hope someone out there can help me. I am
very analytical so I write everything
down. Here is my story or chain of
events:
september:
9/13/2003 - last known period
november:
11/12/03 – sexual intercourse with my
ex-girlfriend
11/15/03 – spotting (approx. 5 days)
december:
12/10/03 – 3 positive pregnancy tests:
urine
12/11/03 – 1 positive pregnancy test:
urine
12/15/03 – 1 positive pregnancy test:
urine
12/16/03 – 1st ultrasound: < 5w
(nothing showed, ultrasound & pelvic)
12/22/03 – 1 positive pregnancy test:
blood
12/26/03 – spotting (approx. 3 days)
12/31/03 – 2nd ultrasound: 6-7 w (visible
sac, no measurements taken)
january:
01/06/04 – 3rd ultrasound: 7w4d – 13mm crl
(official visit)
february:
02/06/04 – 4th ultrasound: 12w3d +-5d – 58
mm crl
02/17/04 – 5th ultrasound: approx. 13w –
7 cm crl (official visit – no copies
given)
here are my questions:
am I the father of this baby, because
number don't add up?
How does the ultrasound machine measure
the fetus?
How accurate is this? I.E. Margin of
error.
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hearenbaby8504
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 197
Location: Cinn. Ohio
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I Dunno
Posted: 02-19-04 00:53am
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At the very beginning of my pregnancy I
got 4 diffrent dates. The measurements
are accurate, but the problem is the baby
could stay the same size. This is what
happened to me. I was told once that my
due date was aug. 7th, now that I am 17
weeks and 3 days preggy they have said 3
times that the due date is july 25th. So
as you see there is a two week diffrence.
You wont be able to tell really, (size
wise) till 4/5 months. Then you can
figure when she got preggy. Do you not
trust her?
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confused_guy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2003
Posts: 8
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Still Confused...
Posted: 02-19-04 01:33am
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Thank you for your input hearenbaby8504.
Let me rephrase some of the dates. The
first ultrasound (12/16/03 – 1st
ultrasound: < 5w (nothing showed,
ultrasound & pelvic) ), this 5w is 5
weeks from pregnancy not conception) the
doctor think that nov 15 was her lmp.
The reason why I am asking is becaue i'm
not sure whose the father, me or her
current bf. If conception was on nov 12,
that would put the first sonogram at 5w(of
conception, and 7w of pregnancy). I
understand that the first 12 weeks of the
baby's development (conception) all
embryos/fetus will grow at the same rate.
Once after 12 weeks, the growth rate is
dependent on the mother's nutional
diet/exercise. Is this true?
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Amberlee123
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2003
Posts: 185
Location: Tennessee
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Posted: 02-19-04 08:32am
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No this is not neccesarily true, all
pregnancies are different and things do
happen that mother can't control. Sounds
like you are just going to wait and get
blood tests. With the dates you have
down it looks like she became pregnant in
october.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003
Posts: 1420
Location: Sydney
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Posted: 02-19-04 10:16am
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Drs & dates can be so out. I was told
that my son was conceived late april (but
as my husband & I were sharing a room
-while travelling in the usa with my
mother & our almost 6 year old
daughter we were quite certain that we had
not & would not have had time or the
immorality needed to conceive then!!) .
Our possible dates were late march or 5th
may - dr - specialist - said we were wrong
- well while it's true our son was born
one day before the due date as given by
the dr - he was also what is termed
"overcooked" very red with peeling skin s
if he was sunburnt & over 9lb so we
were told that he was obviously
overdue!!!!!!
The only way to be sure whose child this
is for everyone's sake (especially the
child) is to ask for a paternity test.
You should have to support your child but
you should not have to support someone
else's & the child has a right to know
who it's real father is.
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hearenbaby8504
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 197
Location: Cinn. Ohio
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I Agree With Purple333
Posted: 02-19-04 22:11pm
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Hey, I just want to say I agree with ya
purple333. Confused_guy, you have the
right to know if you are the father. As
does the baby to know its father. I
think the paternity test is a must!!! I
got a question though. Who does she
think the father of the baby is?
About the 12 weeks it is the most critical
time in baby development! During the
first 12 weeks many great changes take
place. There is a site that you can go to
that shows you the development in every
week. It is www.Pregnancyweekbyweek.Co
m I think that is it. If it is not
go to keyword pregnany and then look up
week by week. We are here to answer any
questions to help ya out so if you have
anymore or any concerns, or just want to
know what its like, just ask.
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confused_guy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2003
Posts: 8
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Still Confused
Posted: 02-20-04 16:45pm
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Well, if the dr and dates are so out,
please explain something to me, b/c i'm
still confused. If I had sex with my ex
on nov 12, and the development of the
embryo/fetus are all the same in the first
12 weeks of conception, then why did we
not see any thing on the sonogram on the
5th week of conception? She has sex with
her current bf sometime after
thanksgiving. Plus to add, her last
known period was in september, I did not
have sex with her in oct. I only had sex
with her one time in november and none in
dec. So can I still be the father?
Thank you all.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003
Posts: 1420
Location: Sydney
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Posted: 02-20-04 23:40pm
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No matter what tests you do, sonogram,
blood, urine, whatever none are
infallible!! Just like no form of
protection is 100% safe not even vasectomy
or tubes tied, well I guess with a total
hysterectomy it would be safe to ssume yuo
couldn't get pregnant!!!!
As to could you be the father: regardless
of the ultrasound, the 5 positiive
pregnancy tests 12/10-15 she was almost
certainly pregnant then so yes you could
be the father. As to whether the new b/f
could also be - that would depend on
exactly when they had sex??!! Also as
women can ovulate at times other than
mid-cycle(which is the norm) that would
also make a difference. But overall at
this stage I think i'd come down in favour
of betting on you as the father.
Regardless though a paternity test is the
only real way to be sure & for that
you just have to wait!! Sorry.
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hearenbaby8504
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 197
Location: Cinn. Ohio
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Posted: 02-20-04 23:54pm
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When I had my first ultrasound I was 6 1/2
weeks preggy. The only thing we could
see was a tiny thing that don't look
nothing like a baby!! That was at 6 1/2
weeks, so at 5 it is very possible. Now
on to the info about the ultrasound
equipment, you have to have the best to
see a really great pic of the baby, if you
dont go to a place with high status or
such, chances are she will be 10 weeks
before she can really see a good pic of
the baby. It will be a vaginal
ultrasound of course to show such good
pic. Did you say that she had both? If
she did, is she really skinny? It all
depends on the person, the equipment, and
the instructions she was given. Hope
this helped a little more.
Heather
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717
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Posted: 02-21-04 01:37am
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I don't know much about all of these
pregnancy things, but I do know one thing.
I had a cyst on my ovary much larger
than a fetus at five weeks, and the
ultrasound did not show it the first three
times! It all just depends. But, like
purple said, just wait and get a paternity
test. Doctors are hardly ever right with
due dates and conception dates and such.
You will just have to wait and see, sorry!
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Amberlee123
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2003
Posts: 185
Location: Tennessee
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Posted: 02-21-04 09:34am
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As I do agree just to be on the safe side
there must be a paternity test,yet if her
last period was sept. 13 and and you
didnt have sex with her until nov. 12
then it really doesnt sound like your the
father. But our bodies do play tricks on
us sometimes. Who does she think the
father is?
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confused_guy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2003
Posts: 8
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Sorry Still Confused
Posted: 02-21-04 12:41pm
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She thinks her current bf is the father.
They had sex after thanksgivng, nov 29.
And how accurate are these ultrasounds,
b/c everybody is saying one thing or
another. And I have to add that if the
baby is mine, she will abort it and if the
baby is her bf, she'll keep it. Right
now she's at week 13-16. So can anybody
help me.
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hearenbaby8504
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
Posts: 197
Location: Cinn. Ohio
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I Am Trying
Posted: 02-21-04 15:32pm
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Hello confused guy its heather again.
Listen these ultrasounds are accurate as
if a baby is there or not. Now when it
comes to date, they are not as accurate,
it depends on the goodness of the machine.
Also they really suck when it comes to
twins or not so ya see they really are not
as accurate as people think. When people
go to ultrasounds they see one and don't
even realize there is 2 till later down
the line. I hope in someway I am
helping.
As for the mother of the baby, I believe
she is to far along to have the abortion
which is not nice anyways, no offense to
my girls. What I mean is to kill the
baby just because it is yours and not her
b/f's thats her fault not the innocent
little baby's fault. I think if I was
you I would just back off and let it rest
for a little while till she gets further
and they find out some firm dates, etc.
Then when they come and you still think
its yours try to get her to realize that
you want to be apart of the baby's life.
Heather
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003
Posts: 1420
Location: Sydney
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Posted: 02-22-04 12:20pm
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Given your statement that she'd abort if
it's yours - what would/do you want?
1) do you want to be a dad?
2) are you ready to be a dad?
3) once the baby is born are there laws
where you live which would give you the
right to demand/get a court order for a
paternity test?
4) do you want to be a part of the baby's
life?
5) because if she has it & then finds
out it is yours she could :
- decide she wants it
(even if only to stop you having it!)
- decide to have it
adopted
- require as much
& more than you can afford in child
support & be a real health forum about
giving you access
- say since it's yours
either you raise it or she has it adopted
or taken into state care.
6) so use this time to give some long hard
thought to what you want for you &
what you feel you would want for the baby,
if it is yours.
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