Eating Disorders Forum

First sorry for not replying sooner but things have been abit topsy turvy here & this is the first chance i've had to reply with time for the thought needed.

Ok, i'll try & answer your questions but it's not that simple. Each person is unique so each person's reasons for developing an eating disorder as well as how they hide it & how well they hide it is also unique so there just isn't one simple answer.

You mention your age & that it is second nature after 5 years to hide your problem, but you don't mention your weight still given the rest I will assume that you too have an eating disorder, your friend is definitely underweight for her height.

Why do some people become bulimic?
Lots of reasons, abuse as a child, being told they're fat/chubby etc, seeing themselves as not thin enough to be beautiful like actresses & models (seen farrah fawcett lately!!), to get attention etc.

Why bulimia rather than anorexia nervosa?
Well with anorexia you actually starve yourself by not eating, so you don't get to eat all the stuff you like & it can be harder to hide (depending on your living arrangements) from family/friends etc whereas bulimia you get to eat (& people see you eat!!) then you go & throw it up. Another facet eating disorders which is can be common to both or separate is to drink tonnes of water & take laxatives to get rid of what you eat fast so your body doesn't take in the calories.

How come some are spotted more easily?
Some peoples living arrangements/lifestyle makes it easier to hide, some people are simply better at pretending/hiding/lying etc but some people actually do not have bulimia or anorexia nervosa hence they actually do not have anything to hide.

Some people lose weight regardless of how much they eat, for verious reasons, like they burn calories faster (some of us eat & gain weight when stressed for others it's the opposite they eat but lose it when stressed. Also there are many medical problems which can cause weight loss ibs - irritable bowel syndrome - carbohydrate intolerance, worms & parasites, medication (eg the pill), etc etc etc etc etc (there's dozens).
So it is possible for someone to have been a "normal weight" & then to lose weight for reasons other than bulimia or anorexia nervosa. Note I say anorexia nervosa not just anorexia because anorexia simply means an unreasonable loss of weight for some reason whereas anorexia nrevosa is specifically when someone sees themselves as fat & starves themselves & counts every calories & every drop of fat that they eat etc.

How come they want but can't accept help?
Well for one, if they do not have anorexia nervosa or bulimia then the help they're offered won't help in fact it may make matters worse. My daughter was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa (girl, 15 weight loss =an) & made to eat eat eat & to eat the wrong things (as we now know) no-one would listen to us or her, no-one would believe that she was eating & not throwing up etc, then when they had made her almost suicidal I just checked her out of hospital & into a psych unit under a psychiatrist who actually listened & tested her for a range of things. She has ibs & now that she's stopped eating starches & sugar(that's the simplest way of explaining it) she's started gaining weight, although slowly, but after only a few weeks she looks healthy for the first time in 12 months. It just took the right diagnosis.

For those with an or bulimia though, well having seen the torturous treatment handed out to the girls in hospital with my daughter & the lack of any attempt to see them as individuals I personally wonder if the reason they can't accept help is more the type of help offered & the way it's offered than anything.

Generally a person who has bulimia or an has emotional/psychological problems, often is a perfectionist (so can't accept themselves as human & therefore not 100% perfect)has low self esteem & many are extremely bright high achievers (or have the ability to be). You can't simply say eat & shove food at them (& hospital food is usually pretty awful anyway!!) you need to consider the individual & figure out why they developed the problem & then counsel them "out" of it. But you need also to provide nice foods, a caring environment & personal development courses so as to avoid it (or some other problem) happening again. Many are also very stressed & perhaps if they were treated for stress (with natural medications like 5htp or sam-e (check on a search engine for details of these) they would destress & that at the very least would help them overcome their problems.

I hope this has given you some "food" for thought & research for your friend but also for you. Pm me if you want to chat or discuss more personal details that you would prefer not to post openly.

Mia?