Need Help With Helping Wife.

This must be really hard for you.

The thing is, her symptoms are very real to her. Don't try to tell her they're not real, because she might end up feeling like you don't believe her or you think she's crazy. Telling her they're not real is like telling a blind person that they can see.

Of course, I don't know if you have been, just my advice. Just be there for her and try to work with her doctors to make sure she is getting the best treatment available.

Good luck.

unfortunatly i don't have access to her dr's and i dont think i would get in contact with them if i did have rights to. it looks like the more and more i talk to her the less and less she wants to talk. i really see there is nothing i can do. she needed me to send some money for a loan we got when i was living in usa with her, and she was really open and nice, calling me hon, she came on AIM and we chatted for a good hour or so. then seems like as soon as i said i would send money for loan she ended the convo on AIM with she thinks its best we dont talk unless we really have to.

i'm in a posistion where i could turn my back on her and get on with my own life, but what kind of husband would i be if i done this.

bleh. so so so so hard for me. i cant go and visit her, as we would have to send in for me visas to get back, and she is in no state of mind to even be talking to about that.

maybe im just being selfish. i just want whats best for her.

sorry for rant. needed to get that off my chest as really worryed about her, she has been saying she is ready to give up, meaning to kill her self. im not sure how serious she is.

a lot of people think i should just tell her to F off but i dont think they know what she is going threw, and are very shallow when it comes to emotions etc. i've kind of been where she is right now as ive recerverd from social phobia and my main drive is that i wish i had someone that did not give up on me when i was having a hard time dealing with things. i just wish she would understand i want to be there for her. if you knew her you would understand why, she is such a wonderful kind person that got court up in some sillyness in some chatrooms, then hacked etc. now to this, i really would love to see the people that done all that irl rgggg.



rant over.

thanks for listning.

ps, sorry about spelling, am dislexic. and sorry for using this forum to rant. just have no one to talk about this with. i think im losing my wife/lost my wife and there is nothing i can do about it becouse of 1000's of miles and a border.

It sounds like you are in a really tough situation. I can understand your frustration. Don't give up!!

Are you close with her parents at all? Maybe you could be talking with them about checking up on her care and seeing how you could help.

It's hard when you're so far away. And I am glad too that she is with her parents, who hopefully are taking good care of her and helping her to get better. Maybe soon she'll be in a better state of mind??

Good luck. The both of you are in my thoughts.

hi blapblap
Sorry that I cant be much help.The only thing I can suggest is that the way your wife acts towards you is because its part of the illness and she cant help/control it,not because she would really want to act that way if she was healthy and had a choice.
Maybe you could talk to a psychologist or counsellor or someone about how you feel and how its affecting you?
The people that have said to tell her to medical question off have obviously never experienced painful or unusual situations in their life-why hang out with those people,theres alot of nice people out there that are supportive.
I hope your wife gets better really soon.

Hi. I'm Nichole. I am a schizohrenic myself. I am engaged and these are the things I would hope for my fiance to do if I were having an episode like your wife's.

there is a golden rule.

**Never make her think you are one of THEM.** Someone who doesn't understand. She should be able to trust you. You are her husband. If she explains to you that some of these odd occurences are happeneing, never make a sour face or tell her she's wrong. Eliminate the problem. Calmly reply ok, and explain that you think we should turn the radio off. Offer another activity. Remeber: she's CONSTANTLY obsessing over people trying to "communicate with or analyze" her. About their thoughts or perception of her. She thinks all eyes are on her. She's not being selfish or conceited, just fearful. Let her know you want to be there for her. Maybe if she's really upset, try getting her a bath or a massage. Simple relaxations sometimes help. It's a tragedy that people like us will never be cured. And you can't save people from themselves. But you can try.

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thank you for your help.

bringing the subject up is touchy. because it makes her feel like a burden. she might be scared you think shes a burden. let her bring it up then offer help and options she's comfortable with. but if she's really out of control, i suppose you wuld HAVE TO bring it up. as far as treatment talks and whatnot. just always try to make her feel comfortable and safe because her mind stalked with ridiculous ideas from paranoia.

The worst thing possible has happened. my wife thinks i am part of what is going on and wants a divorce asap.

She can get a no fault divorce in the state she lives in.

I don't know what to do, the only way i ca get to see my wife to try and sort this out would be to jump the border and hope for the best.

bleh

This may sound like an odd question, but does your wife do any type of drugs?


I am not trying to add to any problems here, but coke is one of the drugs that can cause paranoia. Coke addicts can experience "coke bugs" where the users thinks there are bugs on or in everything. It doesn't need to be just bugs, there have been cases where they have ranged from bugs to gnomes. The radio talking to her again is another sign. Parinoia and paranoia symtoms can be caused by drugs like coke. If she was taking some type of drug, with medication, it may or may not help and or make things worse.

Again I'm not trying to make anything worse, there are many other causes for things like this, but I thought I would offer some other insight.