Im 14 and my boyfriend has been sort of
hinting for me to have sex with him and
well all of my other friends w/ boyfriends
seem to be trying out things and having
sex too. am I ready or is too soon? my
parents dont really know him either and
weve been together for about 6 months now.
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oxfragilerosexo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Posts: 210 Location: Jacksonville florida
Posted: 04-22-07 21:15pm
It is all up to u if u think u are
mentally and emotionally ready for it..
but if i was u i would wait i wish that i
would have known everything that i know
now .A.N.D if u do decide to make sure
that u use condoms and don't let him use
the "pullout method"
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Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1570 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 101
Thanked:169
Hi Posted: 04-22-07 21:17pm
Just cause your friends are dong it does
not mean you have too...... And just to do
it to be cool cause everyone esle can make
youthink "what in the hell haveI
done....way after you've done it.
Virginity is a very special thing. If you
are willing to have sex with this person,
you should really know this person, not
just think youknow them. Its somthing you
can never ever get
back................Maybe kids today do
not even consider this a sacred thing now
days..... You are very young........I did
not consider sex, way until I was 18. I
thought about it several times....but I
was taought, everytime you ahve sex with
an individual, you take a chance on that
person being a father............its true.
Condoms break, the pill does not always
work..its not worth the risk. You have
your whole future ahead of you. If this
person respects you and loves you.....he
will be willing to wait as long as it
takes until you make the decision
yourself......I'm just a Mom what do I
know? Theres lots you can do and not have
intercourse!
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NWKC
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 134 Location: The States
Abstinance Is 110% Effective. Posted: 04-22-07 21:42pm
Fairy*Godmother
wrote:
Just cause your friends are
dong it does not mean you have too......
And just to do it to be cool cause
everyone esle can make youthink "what in
the hell haveI done....way after you've
done it. Virginity is a very special
thing. If you are willing to have sex with
this person, you should really know this
person, not just think youknow them. Its
somthing you can never ever get
back................Maybe kids today do
not even consider this a sacred thing now
days..... You are very young........I did
not consider sex, way until I was 18. I
thought about it several times....but I
was taought, everytime you ahve sex with
an individual, you take a chance on that
person being a father............its true.
Condoms break, the pill does not always
work..its not worth the risk. You have
your whole future ahead of you. If this
person respects you and loves you.....he
will be willing to wait as long as it
takes until you make the decision
yourself......I'm just a Mom what do I
know? Theres lots you can do and not have
intercourse!
I applaud to your context highly. very
well said. no disrespect to you ckayyy93;
what is with the underage sex lately,
it seems to get younger and younger? soon
there'll be girls just starting off
hitting puberty and wanting to have
sex.
I honestly say, finish school and get to
know this guy a bit more. Truly, six
months isn't long enough time to really
put trust into another person. I have four
syblings that are the ages of 13,14,and 15
and I coddle them crazy, like keeping
track of chicken hens or what not, trying
to protect them; I even had sat down to
speak with them all about stds and
intercourse. I had great help for a
demonstration by their step sister who has
gotten pregnant at the age of 14 (gotten
an abortion) and now at the age 18 (which
she had no choice but to keep this one).
they're still only kids , and honestly so
are you. yeah I'm sure I'm getting the
impression "OMFG....who's this
guy?!11oneone...what ev!".
I'm 19 and I had sex with my girlfriend at
the age of 18 (I recall it being the legal
age) and I was with her for two years
since I was 16 [two years being with her
without subject to intercourse]. A month
after, we broke up. Long story short, even
two years wasn't good enough to lose my
virginity in a relationship.
I mean I can partially agree with fragile
rose...but mainly if she was giving this
advice to a more matured woman.
I honestly hate seeing girls regretting
something they could of easily said no to
and been patient for acouple more years;
seeing girls drop out of high school to
attend to their childs working part time
jobs. I'd extremely advise you to wait. At
the age 14, no girl or guy should be
ready. Don't risk the chance of being a
mother or a virus provider that has stds.
Last edited by NWKC on 04-22-07 21:48pm; edited 1 time in total
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oxfragilerosexo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jan 2006 Posts: 210 Location: Jacksonville florida
Posted: 04-22-07 21:47pm
Well sometimes kids not meaning that i am
not one.. cause even though i am 18 i am
still but a child myself.. don't like
being told no and being not looked down on
but umm what is that word oh yea
critisized bout what they do.. i am not
making her decisions honestly if i was her
i would not do it cause i found out not
that long ago my boyfriend that i had been
with for .S.I.X months was a women beater
and he ended up beating me.. i mean just
from what she said all i was trying to do
was help her without tellling her what to
do...
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NWKC
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 134 Location: The States
Posted: 04-22-07 21:55pm
oxfragilerosexo
wrote:
Well sometimes kids not
meaning that i am not one.. cause even
though i am 18 i am still but a child
myself.. don't like being told no and
being not looked down on but umm what is
that word oh yea critisized bout what they
do.. i am not making her decisions
honestly if i was her i would not do it
cause i found out not that long ago my
boyfriend that i had been with for .S.I.X
months was a women beater and he ended up
beating me.. i mean just from what she
said all i was trying to do was help her
without tellling her what to
do...
I understand what you mean. I didn't
intend it to sound like what you said was
wrong.
there's another example ckayyy93, six
months isnt a sure thing; things can
change quickly. getting pregnant
dramatically changes your life whether you
you like it or not. Please rethink your
descisions over, and if you do plan on
having sex, don't reluy just on birth
control...make sure he uses a condom.
I may not be a girl, nor have experienced
the pain...but I can assure you, quoting
my step sister, "it's hell going through
labor". The fact of the matter, I rarely
talk to my step sister anymore...she was
kicked outta the house after it was known
she was pregnant the second time. The
father who raised my step sister, wont
even talk to her anymore. Plus, on top of
that, she dropped out of high school and
doesnt even have a part time job.
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 04-22-07 22:27pm
Honestly, if you have to ask for the
opinions of strangers on the internet, I
can promise you that you are not ready.
If you have to ask, it lets us know
already that you're not sure. When you
are ready, you will know without having to
ask our opinions. Also, make sure you
know about birth control and have access
to it. Make sure you know about anatomy,
pregnancy, and STDs. Also make sure you
are comfortable with your partner and ok
with the fact that you two probably won't
spend the rest of your lives together.
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NWKC
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 134 Location: The States
Posted: 04-22-07 22:37pm
Llewellyn
wrote:
Honestly, if you have to ask
for the opinions of strangers on the
internet, I can promise you that you are
not ready. If you have to ask, it lets us
know already that you're not sure. When
you are ready, you will know without
having to ask our opinions. Also, make
sure you know about birth control and have
access to it. Make sure you know about
anatomy, pregnancy, and STDs. Also
make sure you are comfortable with your
partner and ok with the fact that you two
probably won't spend the rest of your
lives
together.
very well put llewellyn.
please do a lot of research on those
three...especially birth control and STDs.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-22-07 22:39pm
I truly think that people under 17 or 18
should not be having sex.
I was taught abstinance until marriage - I
reinterpreted this for myself as
abstinance until love.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with
being a virgin!!! I was a virgin until I
was 20 years old.
You need to be in love with a man, not
a boy. He needs to be responsible and you
need to be responsible.
You need to be on birth control of some
kind, whether it be condoms or the pill or
anything else. You need to be old enough
to buy and get those things in the first
place.
I highly suggest not having sex unless you
know everything about your body, the male
body, and reproduction.
Your body is absolutely not ready for a
pregnancy. Unfortunately, no form of birth
control - even the pill - is 100%
effective, and you have to be responsible
enough to take it every day at the same
time.
I honestly feel that sex if for sexually
mature adults. You are not sexually
mature, nor are you an adult.
I don't want to sound harsh or preachy;
And I agree with what someone above said!
Your virginity is a precious gift; it is a
present you can only give once, and it
should go to a very special man (not boy).
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Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3811 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 30
Thanked:11
Posted: 04-23-07 05:14am
You will know when you're ready, if you
are questioning it then perhaps you are
not ready at this point in time. I myself
lost my virginity at 14 and it couldn't
have been a better decision for me because
i knew i was ready, i'm still with the
same partner now and i'm expecting a
little girl with him and i wouldn't change
anything for the world. Just make sure you
have lots of information about safe sex
etc if you do decide to have sex
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Ready? Posted: 04-23-07 07:32am
ckayyy93
wrote:
Im 14 and my boyfriend has
been sort of hinting for me to have sex
with him and well all of my other friends
w/ boyfriends seem to be trying out things
and having sex too. am I ready or is too
soon? my parents dont really know him
either and weve been together for about 6
months now.
if you have to ask, then i think you
already know the answer to that question.
when you are ready, you won't have to ask.
you will know.
please don't feel pressured into doing
something you don't want to do yet. i am
21, there are many people in my peer group
who are still virgins (including blokes!)
there is no reason why you should feel
that you are being left behind if you
choose to wait.
i can look back at when i was 14 and say i
was by no means ready to make such a
decision. at 14, i was a very different
person to who i am now. you still have a
lot of growing to do, both physically and
mentally.
i don't say any of this to patronise you.
you are free to make whatever decision you
wish. it's just not nice to think that
you might grow to regret it in years to
come.
anyone who respects you as a person will
not push you into sex.
best wishes.
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ckayyy93
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Apr 2007 Posts: 12
Posted: 04-23-07 15:23pm
thank you im gonna wait i
dont think im ready and honestly i was
thinking and i dont think i could ever go
through with it even if my friends can.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 04-23-07 15:28pm
First of all, I think a lot of teens talk
a lot about sex and make it seem like
they're doing a lot, and they're really
not. Especially boys. : ) I don't think
(and I think the research supports me)
that adolescents are really having sex as
young as some people think, even their
friends. They may make it seem like they
are because it makes them feel mature, but
really they're just as inexperienced and
unsure as you.
At 14 I was not ready. You need to be very
ready and emotionally mature. Having sex
with someone really is a kind of
commitment that you can never imagine
until it happens, and you have to be ready
(yourself and your relationship) to the
changes that will come about once you
start having sex. You will get all sorts
of feelings that you need to be prepared
for.
I met the man who is now my husband when I
was 15. I didn't have sex with him until I
was 18. It is true- birth control is not
100% effective. Anyway, it's really better
to have sex with a man when he has his own
place : ) You don't have to worry about
parents showing up or anything.
im gonna wait i
dont think im ready and honestly i was
thinking and i dont think i could ever go
through with it even if my friends can.