I Need Help (stimulation Problem) Posted: 04-26-07 18:45pm
I have a HUGE problem that has slowly been
demoralizing me for about a year now
Im 17 years old, and i have been sexually
active with girls for about a year,
although i am still technically a virgin.
My problem has to do with not being able
to ejaculate, or even feel ANY pleasure
whatsoever while recieving blowjobs,
handjobs, etc.. Its like i just sit there
and its not even fun, and after about a
minute i almost lose interest completely
I can reach orgasm while masturbating, but
it usually takes a little while (at least
5 minutes) and for the most part doesnt
even feel good until climax
I have absolutuley no problem getting an
erection and i can stay completely hard
for as long as i need to. I have become so
frustrated with my problem that i have
tried to jack off in all different ways,
at different speeds and positions for even
hours on end, and it never seems to feel
good, or right and i end up feeling even
more depressed.
The wierdest part is i can only reach
ejaculation under certain circumstances
while masturbating, such as i need porn or
some visual stimulant. I am pretty much
unable to ejaculate, or even pleasure
myself at all just freestyle like in the
shower, in my bed, or anywhere that isnt
in fron tof the computer pretty much.
I exercise almost everyday, I eat
EXTREMELY well (no fast food, soda or
sugar)
I have thought through many reasons for
why this could be and the only thing i can
come up with is that my sleep patterns are
way off as i almost never get more than 5
or 4 hours of sleep a night, but i am
trying to correct this. But this sounds
like a false reason.
I feel very demoralized by my situation,
because i think its safe to say that
sexual pleasure and sensation is something
that everyone pursues
I guess what i really need is some way to
make my penis more sensitive or my sexual
instinct better.
if anyone has ANYTHING that will help my
situation it would be very much
appreciated. I am considering consulting a
doctor, and i have even considered that
maybe it is a phycologicial problem and i
need mental counseling.
any relpies are appreciated so much, thank
you!
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-26-07 20:14pm
This isn't due to your sleep patterns. I
don't know what is causing it, but it does
sound psychological.
I would certainly go talk to a doctor; the
sooner you do, the sooner you can get on
the road to enjoying sexual touching
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HealthySex
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 414
Posted: 04-28-07 09:31am
Never hurts to go to a doctor and make
sure everything is working right.
That said, how do you reach orgasm through
masturbation? You mention you've tried
many different ways without success, but
which way works?
What about the porn helps you achieve
orgasm? Is it the female figure, the sound
of her having pleasure? Perhaps in your
dealings with women, you are missing one
of these aspects. You could try to think
of these things, not concentrating like,
but arousing like. If it's the sound of
the woman receiving pleasure, that may be
something you're not getting from hand
jobs, etc because she's not moaning. When
you reciprocate for her, do you get turned
on by her sounds? Some people get their
arousal from within, and others get their
arousal from without, whether that be
touch, visual, auditory. Some may even get
their pleasure from other's pleasure as
opposed to even concentrating on the
physical feelings of their own. Such as a
man paying more attention to the cues from
a woman being pleasured, and barely
noticing the very sensations building in
his penis.
I can sit down and complete masturbation
and orgasm in about 5 minutes
but standing up in the shower doing every
different hand motion I can for hours and
never reach orgasm
I will try to figure out what my "niche"
is if there is one, whether it be sounds
visuals or what
what i have notcied is that while
masturbating sitting down, if i stand up
at any time during masturbation, i lose
ALL sensation...and i have to start over
sitting down again
there is just something wierd going on, i
think it is beyond lack of sounds...
SO on a furthur note, what is the first
step in getting medical
attnetnion..whether it be medical or
phyological?
who do i contact, and how do i present
this situation?
any responses are greatly appreciated!
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-01-07 23:17pm
I am a girl, and I find masturbating while
standing a very difficult if not
impossible thing as well...
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HealthySex
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 414
Posted: 05-02-07 07:57am
If all you're having problems with is
masturbating while standing, that's not a
big deal. I too have difficulty achieving
orgasm while standing. The jokes about
masturbating in the shower just don't
apply to me, because I've always found it
difficult to do while standing. I can
still do it, but it requires a lot of work
and quickly. Are you familiar with your
pelvic floor muscles (often called the PC,
more correctly the BC in males)? Perhaps
you've heard of the exercises for them,
kegels?
It is with these muscles that I am able to
achieve orgasm while standing. However, it
is still difficult and I must contract
them tightly and for extended periods
which can be very tiring and not worth
it.
So that's not a problem.
As for not being able to reach orgasm when
a partner stimulates you, you could work
on that. Like I said earlier about
arousal, finding what gets you excited
would help. Stimulation alone isn't always
what brings about orgasm. If you find it
to be a real problem and want to seek
help, you could talk to a normal doctor
and rule out any health problems (though,
if you're able to achieve orgasm through
masturbation it doesn't sound like there's
any physical problem). Or a sex therapist
could teach some things and perhaps
techniques.
Another problem may just be that your
partner just doesn't really know what
she's doing, or what you like. Don't be
afraid to tell her or show her what you
like. Show her manually, tell her vocally,
take her hand and show her, etc. If she
does something you like, let her know.
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