Emotional Wreck

Thank you. I'm trying to stay positive. In fact, I'm wondering whether my moodiness is from implantation or PMS. I hope implantation.

The party last night was good therapy. It was one of those parties where we knew only the hosts and the guests were mostly foreign nationals. We avoided talking about ourselves most of the time and instead enjoyed talking about all the interesting places that the other guests have lived, what they've done with their lives, and interesting stories of armies from different countries training at the same facility or what it was like to be on a navy ship that had a daily ration of rum.

Only once did my mind wonder to ttc (aside from the alcohol awareness, of course, but one person in every couple was a designated driver). Someone asked whether we had any kids and my husband answered, "very soon we will, very soon." That surprised me because he is the one who wants to keep our ttc a secret and usually answers, "someday we will." He didn't even want me to tell our dentist. (Of couse, I told the dentist anyway because I was due for an xray.)

Shortgeek - Does your husband work for the state dept?

I suppose that is all we can do while waiting. Keep ourselves as busy as possible. So, I am glad you had a good tim at the party shortgeek. How are you holding up? Just keep going girl...

Abbysmom - No, my dh does not work at the State Dept. We have friends that work at an embassy and it was their party. We were the only ones they knew from something other than work.

Negar - I'm holding up alright now. I think I just had a weird hormonal thing a few days ago where I was ultra sensitive. I'm pretty tired, bloated, and I have a head ache today, but I'm not crying at the drop of a hat. I'm on cd 26, so normally I would expect af at any time. But since I o'd so late this month and was two days late last month, ff says to wait until Saturday to test. I'll just have to take it one day at a time until then.

chase4 - even moderate drinking can hurt your chances of conceiving.

Oh, star... How are you feeling now? Any better?

I started af today.

It took me by surprise because according to ff, I'm only 11 dpo. That gives me a luteal phase of 10 days!! I think that I really ovulated one day before ff says, but that still gives me a luteal phase of only 11 days. According to ff, my luteal phases vary too much month to month. For the first three months of tracking on ff, I had luteal phases of 13 days. The last three were 12, 15, and 10. My temperature patterns are pretty clear, so I don't think the o date was wrong except perhaps the last month. It really makes it look more like there might be something going on with me, especially since I didn't get a + opk for the last two months.

Now, my dh and I are in a discussion about our next step. He would like to take his OTC test now but to keep trying for a few more months before going to the specialist, especially since we have to cover half the cost. We'll see if I can convince him to go in sooner. It is about both of us.

Shorty, I'm feeling a little better now, but now I'm just sad because my dad left to go back home. He was visiting my brother and I for the past week. After dinner last night I started crying and DH gave me a hug and told me it was ok and I would see him again soon. he was too cute about it. I just hate goodbyes especially with him because I don't get to see him that much.
Do you get any cramping associated with o'ing? That is how I usually tell for sure that I have o'ed. I don't get painful cramps, just annoying mild pulling sensation for a day, sometimes a day and a half. I noticed using ff that I had a luteal phase of only 12 days. I have only made it through one cycle though. My temps have been all over the place this cycle so far. I am on cd11 and every day it goes up then the next day it goes down, then back up again. It didn't do that last cycle.

I had "the talk" with dh about the specialist this weekend as well. We decided that after the 3 month wait, that we will give it a go for a few months and after no more than 6 months of trying again we would seek help from the specialist. I asked him about how he felt about doing the sperm test and he didn't have a problem with it at all. I thought he would have been weird about it, but he acted like it was no big deal. So at least I don't have that to worry about. Let me know how the test goes for him.