Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 172 Location: west virginia, united states
How Do You... Posted: 04-28-07 17:59pm
Stop being so paranoid & worried &
scared?
I'm currently 14-wk's, so I've officially
entered the second trimester. I know my
chances of a miscarriage decrease
tremendously, but there are still so many
dangerous things that can happen
unexpectedly.
I read so many heart-breaking stories
about women who carry full-term, only to
deliver a stillborn. Or women who lose
their babies in the third trimester
because the cord wraps around their neck.
I know these are things that I have no
control over, but - ugh!!
I should stop reading, huh? I guess what
I'm bothered by most is, how do you know
if something like this has happened? I see
the doctor once a month & sometimes I
don't feel like that's enough. I wish I
could feel the baby moving, but I have
another couple of weeks before
"quickening" begins. If a baby dies in
utero, a miscarriage without the bleeding,
how do you know? Would a home pregnancy
test still come back positive? I take home
pregnancy tests every two weeks or so. [I
know, a bit too much]. But it helps to
calm my nerves when I see the plus sign.
I'll stop once I feel my little miracle
moving around in there.
I lost a baby three years ago, so I'm sure
that adds to my anxiety & obsession. I
just can't wait until he or she is here!!
I want to hold my baby so bad.
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 04-28-07 20:08pm
Worrying during pregnancy is normal. I
had some anxiety when I was in my first
trimester too. The first time I heard the
heartbeat I was so relieved. Try not to
worry about what could possibly maybe
potentially happen. The books tell you
all about that stuff but that doesn't mean
it will happen. There are women who have
all kinds of complications and chronic
conditions that have healthy happy babies.
I even had a major abdominal surgery when
I was 22 weeks, I had only just felt my
baby's first movements a week before the
surgery. They cut me open from my ribcage
to below my belly button to remove a 30 cm
ovarian cyst along with my left ovary. I
was so worried about losing my baby, but I
prayed a lot and tried not to stress too
much. I talked to my baby and told it to
hang in there, everything would be okay
and so far it is. They say a certain
amount of anxiety is pretty normal during
pregnancy, but if you are really feeling a
lot of stress just try to talk to someone
if you can. Maybe a female relative or
friend, or your doctor or a nurse. I was
so worried before I even knew anything was
wrong, that I made an appointment with the
student counsellor at my university and
then went to talk to the doctor I was
seeing before I got pregnant just so I
could talk to her because I was so scared
and worried. Just believe that your body
is capable of carrying this baby, it's the
most natural thing in the world, and take
good care of yourself. Don't smoke or
drink. Eat healthy. Drink lots of milk
and water. Take your prenatal vitamins.
Try to focus on the proactive things you
can do to keep you and your baby healthy.
Good luck!!
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 04-28-07 21:57pm
You don't stop being worried or paranoid,
but you have to think positive thoughts.
I worried about a lot of things too, but
finally I realized that it wasn't good for
me or my baby to stress about every little
thing. Eat good, take your vitamins, and
take good care of yourself and know that
you are giving your unborn child
everything they need to have a good start.
It will be better when you can feel your
baby moving, but then you will get used to
him/her moving and when he/she doesn't
you'll wonder why.
Sure things happen, but like you said many
of them are out of your control, so enjoy
being pregnant, if you can. Everything
will be fine.
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christinamuir
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 50 Location: san diego
Posted: 04-28-07 22:50pm
Hi,
Well, I must say that I am one of those
women you have read about. I lost my baby
3 weeks before my due date because of a
cord accident. I have since been pregnant
3 more times ( my 3 year old was conceived
3 months after I lost my son, my next
pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and then
my 5 month old was conceived 2 weeks after
my miscarriage).
I can tell you from experience that you
will most likely stop worrying as much
once you feel your baby move, but even
after that you will probably find
something else to worry about; after all
that's what mom's do. Trust me, you will
never stop worrying even after the baby is
born, but I think we end up cherishing our
kids more because of the constant worry.
To answer some of your questions, I knew
that I had lost my baby because I hadn't
felt him move at all during the day. I
went to the hospital and it was confirmed
that he had passed. I'm not too sure
about knowing if you miscarried without
bleeding because I experienced the common
symptoms (cramping, bleeding). I honestly
think that everything will be fine with
your baby. Be sure that you do the kick
counts when you get to that stage and you
will be alerted to whether your baby is in
distress.
Honestly, try not to worry so much ( I
know easier said than done), because
pretty soon your baby will be born and you
will wish that you still were pregnant to
feel your baby move in your belly. It's a
feeling that I wish I could experience now
even though I love having my kids here
with me.
Good luck with the rest of your
pregnancy.
Christina
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tululabell
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 256 Location: michigan
Posted: 04-29-07 07:36am
i am the same exact way as you!!! i am a
nut and i am about 19 weeks! i call my
Dr's all the time with questions, my
biggest concern right now is a weak cervix
even though my Dr told me i am very low
risk, but there is still a risk! (just as
there is for anyone..) i did get a home
doppler and i use it about twice a week
and i love it! i rented it. when ever i
feel a bit more worried i can take it out
and make sure baby is doing fine. but
there are so many little pains and stuff
that nobody ever talks about that always
freaks me out. i really need to stop
reading online because that is where i get
my new "concerns" everytime i have one.
the internet can be a very bad thing. but
it is sooo hard not to read things. and it
always seems like only the bad is posted
never the good and so i try and tell
myself that there are so many more good
stories out there but nobody shares those
it seems. just like they say when you have
bad experience at a retaurant you tell
like 20 people compared to a good where
you tell like 10...
you are far enough now for the doppler to
work, maybe try that. but only get it if
you think you won't be obsessed with it!
seriously, it could make you crazy if you
have a hard time finding the heartbeat
sometime. i never have had that problem
but it could happen.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 04-29-07 08:28am
tululabell
wrote:
you are far enough now for
the doppler to work, maybe try that. but
only get it if you think you won't be
obsessed with it! seriously, it could make
you crazy if you have a hard time finding
the heartbeat sometime. i never have had
that problem but it could
happen.
I didn't do the doppler thing for that
reason alone. Sometimes it would take my
doc a minute or two to find the heartbeat.
I could just imagine my panic if I were
trying to find it and couldn't.
Use your doc to ask questions, that is
what you are paying them to do.
Good luck to you
