I've suffered from major depressive
disorder for many years. I've had
recurrent episodes. I never seeked
treatment till a year ago. I have
attempted suicide 15 times in the past
year in various way to get attention and
to cry out for help, and sometimes to
really end my way. By no means is this an
advice or encouragement/idea for people
who are reading this. Please don't hurt
yourselves. Because it does get better!
Please read on!
After many treatments with psychiatric
meds. I've tried Cipralex, Elavil,
Remeron, and finally Effexor works with
me. I've been on it for a year now. It
helps me a lot. I also have a psychiatrist
and have a therapist and a supportive care
team including my GP.
When you seek treatment, it is the first
step to get help and get better.
Sure, I've had a hard time with all
medications and self-harm behaviours. But
I stopped. Sometimes, it's impulsiveness
that causes me to self-harm. But I try to
set it aside and not think about it at the
very moment, because that would just make
me want to harm myself even more.
I am Christian. I pray to god. I ask him
for help and to take away my troubles. It
doesn't always work of course. But this is
just a coping style. By no means am I
trying to bring religion into other
people. But I do find that being
preoccupied with something else that's
positive in your mind tends to help or
take away some thoughts of self harm. I
think healthy beliefs and religions are
helpful.
I still have thoughts of self-harm.
Sometimes, I still do act. But I try my
best to stop myself. I ask for help
instead of harming myself. I walk into the
nearest hospital. At least I know I'll be
safe there. It's better than harming
yourself and getting certified by a doctor
to force hospitalization. I've had that
done to me before, and it was not helpful
at all.
I know how hard it is to deal with
depression and thoughts of suicide. I also
have other psychiatric illnesses present
other than this and am in the process of
dealing with all of them. I just want to
help everyone deal with it. I'm not 100%
better myself, but I'm constantly battling
it. I want this to be a support and
encouragement for people to choose life
over death. Because life does get better
even if it doesn't seem so at the moment.
You have to live it to find out about the
positive things that future has to offer.
I wish all of you the best of luck.
"In the past and present, future yonder,
lies the presence of dreams."
