Im 21 And I Want to Have a Baby

Some considerations to include:

Am I 'ready' to be a mother?
Do I understand that a new phase of my life is about to unfold?
Am I prepared to be less selfish and more 'giving'?
Am I prepared to put another person first?
Is our relationship strong enough and flexible enough to support a new life, and be committed to this new person for life?
I am happy with my partner and we are ready to be parents?


Some issues you may identify can include:

Having less time with each other after the birth.
Possible changes in your 'traditional' roles, especially in relation to household chores.
Moving from two wages to one, and the feelings of 'dependence' this can bring.
The division of household tasks, especially after the birth.
Your personal expectations about how you each plan to parent.
Perhaps issues about the surname the child will have, if the child will be given any religious teachings or ceremonies, or even what sort of education you would like them to have.



Am I Ready To Be A Mom?

Emotional

Are you emotionally ready to handle a child’s demanding needs? If you are married, is your marriage stable or struggling? If you are struggling, seek marriage counseling before you consider pregnancy. Counseling will help you get on the right track to becoming a mom. Pregnancy is both emotional and stressful, so you will want to face it with a clear mind and realistic expectations.

Financial

A most important aspect of bearing and raising a child is money. Let’s face it. These little ones don’t come cheap. Can you afford it? A wise woman once said, “If you waited until your finances were in perfect shape, you may never have children”. Well, you don’t need to be in perfect shape, but these suggestions may help.

Sit down with your spouse and list some typical maternity/postpartum expenses. Does your income and savings cover these costs?

Doctor Appointments: For the first two trimesters, you will see the doctor every four weeks. In the third trimester, these visits will increase to every two weeks, and in the final stretch, every week. What are your medical insurance co-payments?

Hospital Expenses: Typical expenses may include labor & delivery fees, OB/GYN fees, nursery fees, circumcision fees (if you have a boy), pediatrician fees, and surgical and anesthesia fees for a Cesarean. The typical cesarean rate in the country right now is 25% – 30% of all live births. Remember that medical insurance covers much of this. Find out how much before you take the plunge.

Maternity Clothes: Do you know any pregnant women that could loan you some maternity clothes?

Baby Gear & Clothes: Take stock of everything you will need to care for that precious bundle of joy. Check out the SmartMomma Store to see all that you would need. Remember that you will get some gear (mostly clothes and bedding) from your baby shower too.

Time off Work: Does your company offer paid time off? Do you qualify for the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which guarantees you 12 weeks UNPAID time off? Are you required to use your sick and vacation time first? Does your company pay you short term disability pay for having your baby?

Child Care: Are you planning on going back to work after you have your baby? If so, call around to a couple of home daycares, commercial daycares, and nanny agencies. Get an idea of the cost of childcare in your area.


Physical

Before you decide to take the pregnancy plunge, make an appointment for a fertility consultation with your OB/GYN. Your doctor will examine you, take note of your immunizations, and give you a prescription for some prenatal vitamins. Prenatal vitamins are essential for a healthy pregnancy and should be taken even before conception if possible. Ask your doctor for more information.

Once you have a clean bill of health and your prenatal vitamins, you are ready to start trying. Isn't that the best part? Have fun!

What qualifies as "super old mom" to you? Age has nothing to do with whether or not you can communicate with your children and be "hip". I know some younger moms who can't communicate a lick with their children and some older moms who are up with the times and have a wonderful communicative relationship with their children.

Be 21 and enjoy life!!
Im 21 and damnit i wish i could have experienced life more before having my baby..Dont get my wrong im thrilled to be having her but at the same time i now realize there will be no bar hopping for me..no parties.no concerts..no drinking.. I know that that is not what is important in life but i do think i would of made a better mother had i waited and had more life experiences before getting pregnant with her. I so to speak gave away my youth too early and i realize that. Luckily i have an amazing husband but i also know that i wont be able to provide for my child as well as if i had waited. reevaluate and think what you really want. i used to be just like you and wanted a baby right now so bad but i now see that you need to live life a little first. even though its the greatest joy in the world to have a child think of all youll give up. And i know this sounds horribly superficial but think of the things like stretch marks and saggier boobs youll get. being pregnant and having a baby changes your body. Now I know this sounds bad but i miss my body!! I miss going out with all my friends and being able to sleep it off till noon the next day. Yes its worth it in the long run but your still a very young mom at 26.

ps what to expect while pregnant..

awful heartburn that makes you feel like your having a heart attack, cankles, a bigger butt to go with your bigger belly, most of the time stretchies, raging hormones, aching ligaments hmmmmmmmmmmm i could go on!!

I was 16 when I had my first child. I was 29 when I had my second.

I totally was a better mom when I was 29.

Working at a daycare center... you probably can't even make enough to pay for daycare on that income. Thankfully, your daycare would be free though, if you work there.

Yo didn't mention a man. A significant other. A relationship. What does he say?

i'm 20, & my son is 7 weeks old. having a baby isn't the glitz & glamour it's made out to be in the movies or something. it's hard. it's frustrating. it's exhausting. it's time-consuming. it's confusing. it's the biggest & most important thing you will ever do in your entire life. you have to think if you're ready to take it on. i know i wasn't. but i have no choice, now. it's put a lot of stress on me & boyfriend. we're okay, now. but he almost walked because the pressure was too much. we'll never get to be newlyweds- just us. we'll be newlyweds who already have a baby. we don't get to enjoy eachother's company like we used to. we can only spend time together & talk if we can find someone who will watch our son for free, because we have absolutely no money (even with both of us working) & can't afford to pay someone to watch him. my social life is basically shot. my friends pretty much bailed after my son was born. they come by sometimes to see us, but they don't bother to ask me to hang out anymore, because they know i have .gabe & wouldn't be able to do all that they want to do. i absolutely do not get to sleep in anymore. my son won't fall asleep before 2am, & he gets up in the morning at 8. i work & come home & have to take care of him. no relaxing after an 8 hour day. no good night's sleep after an 8 hour day. i wouldn't give up my son for all the money in the world.. but this is not what i wanted my life to be. i miss my old life. but we weren't careful, & we knew what could & would happen. you're so young. enjoy being 21. there is so much time to be a mother. wait.