I Have a Mental Disorder, I Feel Like No One Understands Posted: 05-13-07 13:47pm
i really have a bad mental condition. it
feels like no one understands, i tried
explaining to my mom, to my bf and it just
seems like they dont get it.
my life nd mind is like this
- the world feels like one big cycle
- i feel brain dead and empty
- most of the time i literally dont think,
or cant find my self able to.
- however im mostly daydreaming
- i am day dreaming so much about how i
look to people and try to be cool
- i realize i hav the ability to stare at
something for a long time without getting
bored or thinkin
- short term memory
- always lazy, mentally, i always feel
like i need to rest
- feel unconsciuos
- feel like im in an endless dream
im worried that it could be from drugs and
alcohol. i drank quite a few times, i did
coke 4 times. i smoked weed about 7 - 10
times. once haze, so yeah. once i was so
drunk i punched a car mirror and the next
morning i went to the hospital. i feel
horrible and stupid, after tht i vowed
never to drink and smoke again. yesterday
i was at a small party, being the only
girl there i wanted to be so kool n sniff
coke. so i did that, i drank like
everyones beer, i was acting stupid. my bf
came n i was acting so stupid around him,
so wen i ewnt downstairs idk wat happened
i think my bf gave meh a bruise, or sum
caca,.. on my head. ithurts now, im a
mess, im just here in my pajamas, n i hate
it.
as of right now i seriously will quit. i
never became an addict to anything, but
now my worry n concern is my brain. i want
it to heal and i dont want to be so messed
up. i had dreams for myself, wanting to
meditate, get into physicness, i wanted to
grow up n help animals. things like that,
but i know i have a mental disorder but i
feel scared and helpless. i dont think ill
ever be able to do the things i love
because of that. because my mind is effed
up for life.
wen i explain i feel brain dead and my
life is just passing by lie a movie, my
mm would just get all flipped out, n shyt
sh wont be supportive to help me, my bf
would just say "i did more drugs then yu
so im fine, or its all in my head, or
sumthing. but yeah i mean this really
sucks. i go to a therapuetic school so of
course it is suggested i talk to them n
suggest hel. first off i dont want to
trust a psychiatrist cuz all hed want to
do is prescribe me meds, if i tekk a
therapist i took drugs again theyll probly
want to send me sumwhere "to get help", n
sum caca. along with that i wont kno how
long theyd keep me n id dissapoint my mom.
i hate bs n i hate myself, i am really
stupid.
now i dont kno if my brain is going to get
better but i feel like i want to die, not
out of depression but to end my stupid
movie life ( i feel like im in an endless
movie) so if its not the drugs wat culd b
the cause????
if anyone could list down sum disorders u
think i have id appreciate that. it would
help me understand myself better,..
|
Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 05-23-07 15:14pm
I think it would be great if you did talk
to a therapist, even though it's not
really what you want to do. It's tough
for us to diagnose anyone off the
internet, but it sounds like you have a
few problems going on that could be helped
with therapy.
For one thing, you seem to feel a need to
look cool in front of people who do drugs.
If anyone pressures you into anything, or
says you aren't cool if you don't do it,
then they're certainly not your friends
and are not worth your time to begin with.
So trying to impress them sounds like a
huge waste of time, not to mention being a
hazard to your health. Making fun of
someone for not doing what you like to do
is pretty silly. On the other hand, if
they don't pressure you or make fun of you
if you don't do it, then there's a good
chance that they respect your freedom to
do what you choose.
If you think your friends and boyfriend
are a bad influence, distance yourself
from them. If you tell your boyfriend
that you feel like you have a problem or
that the drugs are doing bad things to
you, and he brushes it off like that, I
have to say that he does not sound like a
great guy for you. That's just not a
supportive thing, or even a realistic
thing since drugs really can cause serious
problems, to say.
Your life isn't over or worthless if you
have a mental condition. However, your
life might be worse than it has to be if
you don't seek help. Counseling, or
medication, or a combination of the two
help many people deal with their condition
and live with it much easier.