confused_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 102
Location: vermont
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How Am I Suppose to Feel..... Venting
Posted: 05-14-07 11:58am
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Two nights ago I was laying in bed with my
fiance and all he turned over to me and
asked me a dumb but very hurtfull question
of "If you don't love someone anymore is
cheating okay?" I told him no its not okay
to cheat he has hurt me now by asking that
question. Well I am 26 weeks pregnant and
he asks me that. so I asked him if it was
between us and he said no of course not
and he was just wondering. So this makes
me so nervous now that I dont know how to
react anymore my emotions are up and down
and I got sent home from work because I
couldn't stop crying. I am just so pissed
off he asked me that and I dont know if I
should let us have some time apart or if I
should just try to make things work out
and be there for him and his daughter. I
am the better mother figure to her than
her biological mother because she has told
people who know me that she smokes pot
because she can't handle the three kids
she has. But anyways I am sorry for the
long post but I am stuck about what I
should do about the question.
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:01pm
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Is there a reason for you to suspect that
he doesn't love you? Are you guys gong
through a rough patch? Or could he have
been asking because of a friend?
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Emma2
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:02pm
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oh my....i would be just as insecure and
angry as you are . I don;t know what i
would though...try asking him how he feels
about you? I'm sorry
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Dannzibelle
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:04pm
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That would have angered me because when
someone asks you that kind of thing what
are you supposed to expect? i think you
should just ask him outright if he is
cheating or considering cheating for your
own piece of mind
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confused_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 102
Location: vermont
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:06pm
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I asked him and he said he loves me to
death and all and he just felt like asking
that question to be stupid. But I think
there is more to it and he just doesn't
want to be with me anymore. I love him to
death he has changed me from someone who
was so insecure to someone who is
different then that and now he makes me
think all that. My emotions make me sound
so dumb but it hurts. And to top it off i
haven't felt movement from my baby since
he asked that question
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:10pm
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If you seriously haven't felt movement.
That is what you should be most concerned
with right now.
How often do you normally feel movements?
You should drink something very cold like
juice and lay down and see if you can feel
any movement.
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Dannzibelle
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:12pm
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| mc4ever02
wrote: | If you seriously haven't
felt movement. That is what you should be
most concerned with right now.
How often do you normally feel movements?
You should drink something very cold like
juice and lay down and see if you can feel
any movement. |
i agree, doctors say that you should be
able to feel atleast 10 movements during
each day. Try something sugary or orange
juice that usually gets my little one
moving
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confused_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 102
Location: vermont
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:13pm
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I tried that both days and nothing I
called my doctor and she said to wait
until tomorrow and if nothing by tonight
i am seeing her. I wish it wasn't this
hard, I have told my fiance and he was
like what am I suppose to do for you. I
just give up!
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mamaTT
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:14pm
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I am so sorry! I would probably be
feeling the exact same way you are. The
best advice I can give you, is just to sit
down and talk to him. Tell him how
hurtful that question was to you and how
insecure it made you feel with your
relationship. Sometimes, men can be very
insensitive and don't think about other's
feelings before opening their mouths. My
husband has said many things that have
upset me in the past, but he always is
just being stupid and has never meant
anything by it. Just sit down and have a
nice long talk with him. Sometimes that
can solve everything!! Good luck to you
and I hope you feel better!!!
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:17pm
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I'm shocked that your doctor wasn't more
concerned. If I were you and had not felt
movement in two days. (especially with all
of the stress) I would have my but in the
er. Just to make sure.
I'm sorry that you are having to go
through this. He really should have
thought of how that question must sound.
And I'm sorry to say, but I agree that is
sounds odd that it is just a random
question to pop into his head for no
reason. That is why I asked about him
maybe having a friend that is cheating or
something was on tv to make him think of
it.
And I would be one mad momma for my
fathers child to not be just a tad more
concerned about the movement thing.
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confused_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 102
Location: vermont
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:21pm
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I tried to sit down and talk to him too
but he says " It was just a question
babe." so now it's all down hill for my
feelings. I know I can trust him. I asked
him in my version to see if it made him
think about what he asked and i said it
like this : " So would it be okay to cheat
on you if I didn't love you anymore." He
said he didn't get how I felt because men
are jerks sometimes so I am hoping we can
work this out and I can still be there for
him and his daughter who is a very excited
4 year old big sister now.
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:24pm
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If you feel that you can trust him. Then
you should. It is good that you told him
how you feel. But it is so true that
sometimes people just genuinly don't think
before they speak.
I just wanted to be clear: If I were you,
I would have been livid and hurt all at
the same time. You are conpletely founded
in how you feel.
I hope things get better soon!
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confused_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 102
Location: vermont
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:29pm
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Thanks Mc I hope it does get better
because I don't want to lose this man he's
my everything. I have never had a guy be
so good to me when it came to him and I
being together I didn't think it would
last this long and it has until just now
about that damn question.
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 05-14-07 12:42pm
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I am sorry you are going through this.
Hormones rage so badly when you are
pregnant. If my husband would have asked
me if I wanted Chocolate or Vanilla Ice
Cream while I was prego I would have burst
into tears. They are sometimes so
clueless as to what they are syaing, and
they have no idea the insanity raging
through our heads! Take a deep breath, it
will get better. As for the movement,
There were many times I swore the baby was
still born in there, and it was usually
when I was really stressed out. She was
just a quiet little thing in
there-especially when she got past 20
weeks-I think she ran out of room for
somersaulting. It's OK to go have it
checked out by your care provider, though.
Good luck. He's probably just being a
guy. 
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confused_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 102
Location: vermont
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Posted: 05-14-07 19:36pm
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Thanks for the reply tonight I just sat
down with him and had a long talk and he
says he is very sorry and he didn't think
but he still sounds a little hesitant
towards it all and I hate that. So I
called my mother and asked her what I
should do and all she said was she is my
mother and she can't tell me what to do
anymore and she says to keep working
things out. LOL my mom is crazy sometimes
let me tell ya. So I called my dad to see
what he thought about the question and he
says well that is one arsehole to me. So
my father told me to get over I am just a
dumb young girl who doesn't know how to
handle crap! Me handling crap I didn't
walk away from my mother when she was a
month pregnant and said the whole entire
time I wasn't his! he drives me crazy to
the point I hate him I have only known him
these last three almost four years of my
life!
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 05-14-07 19:46pm
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Sorry your dad was so unsupportive. I'm
sure you guys will work it out with time.
Have you felt any movement yet?
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confused_girl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2005
Posts: 102
Location: vermont
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Posted: 05-14-07 19:49pm
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No movement yet so tomorrow at 8am I am
headed to the doctors office and I want to
demand a last ultrasound we had one other
one and the baby didn't want to show us
the in between parts so if I get another
one hopefully we will find out what the
baby's sex is, instead of the "Here mama
heres my butt."
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 05-14-07 19:52pm
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Please let us know right away that
everything is ok.
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Willa Weintraub
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Posted: 05-15-07 09:45am
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I think you might be oer reactingf and
looing for things.I do it all the time and
the fact that your hormones are raging
makes it that much worse! calm down.He had
every chance in the world to come right
out and say something if he was asking
that for himself so relax.I get to
thinking about things someties and ask
dumb questions too! lol
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