My boyfriend of 4 years never cums during
intercourse. He only cums 1 out of every
20 or so times we have sex. He has said
in the past that he enjoys sex and doesn't
know why this isn't working. He has also
given excuses as he masturbates too much,
watches too much porn, I have a bad
attitude and that he cannot be free with
me and lastley that it is a combination of
all. I don't know what to do I've tried
everything I know how to do. I'm not a
prude I've tried all types of sexual
things with him but it does not work. The
times we do watch a porn while having sex
he has orgasmed. But sometimes even when
I suggest that he says he doesn't want to
watch a porn. At the end of every love
making session I end up licking his
gentitalia area while he jerks off. It
makes me feel horrible knowing that I
can't please him. Even when I initiate
sex I worry he doesn't really want to have
sex with me because he doesn't act like he
wants to with enthusiasm. I think this
might me the end of the road for us. Is
there any MEDICAL reason for this? He
does smoke marijuana and cigs? But so do
a lot of people and they don't have this
problem. Plus he's onlyin his late 20's.
Please help.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-15-07 20:25pm
If he's blaming it on you, then he has
serious issues. It's pretty much either a
mental issue for him, and he needs
therapy, or, it's physical, and he needs
to go to a doctor.
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paul995
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Apr 2007 Posts: 140 Location: ,
Posted: 05-16-07 17:56pm
it's probably pure psychological on his
part. try asking him what pleases him,
then work on it. if it doesn't work, then
time to go to someone who knows this
problem best - a doctor.
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Cheri2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 05-17-07 14:04pm
My husband and I have been together for 6
years and he has never had an orgasm while
we have sex. In fact, it took him well
over a year before I could give him one by
hand and I still can't by mouth. It feels
good to him, but I don't think he is
completely able to relax and enjoy it
fully. HE SHOULD NEVER BLAME YOU!! For
years I felt it was my fault, something
must be wrong with me, but it truly is not
your fault. It is psychological all the
way. I really hate to say this to you, but
most men are scared to admit that
something might be wrong with them, so he
probably wont be willing to talk to
someone about options, instead he will
blame you. Be strong and confident with
yourself, don't make him feel guilty
because it will only make it more
difficult for him, and ease your way into
some talks about seeing a sex/relationship
therapist together. I hope this helps
coming from someone in the same situation
and I also hope your man will be more
willing to check into it than my man.
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Jack966
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2007 Posts: 5 Location: Atlanta
Ejaculation Posted: 05-17-07 18:11pm
I purposely do not ejaculate every time I
have sex. I allow myself to ejaculate only
every 12 days.
I have sex with my wife and satisfy her,
and when I am almost about to cum I
withdraw. Not ejaculating every time we
have sex makes me VERY hot for her and
makes me want more sex with her. This
approach has really increased my libido
and helped me to erotisize my wife. Now I
am really hot for her and when I do allow
myself to cum no more than every 12 days,
my sexual experiences are all very very
good.
This is kind of a Tantric thing. Divide
your age by 5 and this determines how many
days apart your ejaculations should be. We
now have a very hot sex life.
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Cheri2
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 05-18-07 23:39pm
Kudos Jack! That sounds very erotic for
both of you. As a man, what's your take on
a guy physically not being able to orgasm
during sex? Does that seem "normal" and
what would you suggest?
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xanthowner
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 May 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Victoria Australia
My Man Doesnt Cum Posted: 05-19-07 00:06am
Janet, i have a feeling you relationship
is not working apart from companionship
.If he needs all those stimulants &
still doesnt ejaculate then he has a very
low sex drive or is bored sh----less with
the present situation.
I really suggest that both of you look
elsewhere.
For both those that believe it is natural
to continually deny oneself ejaculation or
even someone else there is now
overwhelming evidence that males who do
not climax often or not at all are far
more likely to contract prostate cancer
later in life!
I say Do What Cums
naturally!
Xanthowner
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Jack966
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2007 Posts: 5 Location: Atlanta
Not Ejaculating Posted: 05-20-07 12:56pm
Before my wife and I were married, she has
a boyfriend who could not cum in the
missionary position. He could only cum
when she was lying on her stomach. She
thinks that he was still in love with his
first wife and would not cum when he was
looking at her.
In my experience, I can not cum when I am
stressed or anxious. He might want to try
putting a small dose of Zanax under his
tongue before sex. You have to have a
prescription, but I experience anxiety
from time to time and I put a 50 mg Zanax
under my tongue about 30 minutes before
sex. I calms me down and allows me to have
a good experience. If he explains his
problem to his physician, the physician
will probably give him a prescription for
Zanax. This was suggested to me by a sex
therapist a few years ago when I was
havind ED problems and it has really
really helped me.
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Ukulele_Ninja
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 May 2007 Posts: 3 Location: Ohio
Posted: 05-23-07 23:15pm
This might be a dumb question but are you
using condoms during sex? In my experience
I cannot use condoms during sex for
whatever reason or I will not reach
orgasm. Only when I go natural will I have
one.
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bliss10
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 05-25-07 05:27am
I have read about something called
Caverject; it is a syringe which treats
impotency and erectile dysfunction. I
don’t know much about it so, I would
advise you to read this article which is
found on this page.
[Link Removed] i hope that this
proves to be a solution for you.
