Stressed Out! Lost 5lbs And My Tummy Hurts Posted: 05-24-07 10:42am
Okay so i vented in my last post but me
and brian went at it last night. He
refuses to talk about his past with me and
it is so frustrating!! I feel like he is
hiding stuff from me and he tells me no, i
just do not want to talk about my past. I
realize guys are different then girls but
omg! Im his wife! Why cant he just tell
me whats he has gone through in life!? I
mean it all is over him telling me he was
cheated on and that he knew how it felt to
be betrayed. I was like who, when, how?
and he just refused to even give me and
idea. It hurts so bad and it feels like
he is holding stuff back and even after
crying, and telling him how horrible it
makes me feel that i dont know whats
happened in his life and how i know its
stupid but i just want to feel like i know
more about him, and how it feels like
there is a wall he wouldnt budge and tell
me. I mean if it is that important to me
why cant he just say it? Then the kicker
is in the middle of this argument where im
really upset he falls asleep!! what!! I
realize he has to wake up at 5ish every
morning and it was late but it really hurt
my feelings that he would just fall asleep
when i was so upset. Then i look at his
text messages last night ( Okay okay i
know im horrible but im really scared to
be cheated on again and i do it after he
is asleep so he wont know) and there is a
text back and forth from this guy at work.
there talking about how one of the girls
that works for him keeps talking about
what a nice ass he has and how hot he is.
and then brian says well tell her it's
twenty bucks to touch it. now, i know he
was kidding but jesus that made me feel
ill to read. Im just so so so scared of
being hurt and it feels like the more i
try to talk to him the more im pushing him
away.. What if i push him so far into the
arms of another women? Im just so scared
of being hurt. Hes promised me so many
times he would never do that to me but now
i see that there are females going after
him at work and he i thought that he told
me everything but he never told me about
that, even if it is stupid it hurts he
didnt tell me about it. Basically when i
get stressed out i dont eat much and my
stomach gets super upset and i have to use
the bathroom a lot. Ive lost 6 lbs this
last week and a half and im 33 weeks
pregnant (Im still eating i promise girls)
but what scares me is that my stomach
looks noticeably smaller now.. Some
reassure me please!! I know its part me
being insecure/hormones but he left for
work and has to work over night until
tomorrow morning and when he left i was
still upset.
PS hes in the marine corps so why i freak
about girls at work is that when he
deploys to another country he will be
living with these females in iraq. this
is where and how i got cheated on before,
when my husband was in iraq with a female
in the military. my best friend is in the
army and i love her but she even agrees
with me when i say 90% of these girls are
shady, and sluts. They dont give two
sh!ts if hes married with a baby on the
way, which is common knowledge.
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jenniek
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Posts: 692 Location: Salina
Posted: 05-24-07 11:14am
I'm sorry you are going thro that. I
agree he shouldn't have a problem telling
you these things sinceyou are his wife but
some guys just don't know how to open up
as much. My boyfriend had a really bad
family background that he couldn't tell me
about so eventually he wrote it all down
on paper and let me read it when we
weren't together. You could maybe see if
he'd tell you about it that way, whatever
works right.
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8006 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-24-07 12:43pm
aw, im sorry you're going through this. i
know it hurts when they won't tell you
something and it's the most frustrating
thing, but maybe it hurts too bad to talk
about? maybe tonight you could sit him
down and talk to him and make an
agreement, like... "if i leave you alone
about it will you think about telling me?"
or "will you just tell me when
you're ready?" because it might be
that hes embarrassed or hurt over it. i
know i've done things in my past that i
would rather not tell tommy about, and he
knows im embarrassed over it so hes told
me that of course the past matters, but he
loves who i am now and not who i was then.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
but in your situation its a little
different than mine.
i hope you two can come to an agreement
and im sorry you're
so scared of being hurt again, i can
understand that. i don't know your husband
but i think if he tells you over and over
again that he wouldn't do that to you that
he cares enough to let you know that he
wont, and he cares enough to try to make
you understand that.
i wouldn't make a big deal out of the text
message, im sure it was just a joke and
even if the girl handed him 20 dollars he
wouldn't let her touch it but
i would have bad bad bad bad feelings
twords these girls, and i wouldn't want
them around my husband.
knowing me i'd probably sit him down
before he leaves and tell him how i feel
about these girls being with him when hes
deployed, and then he can reassure you
that everything will be okay, and
hopefully you'll feel better!
vent on whenever you need to! were always
here!
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ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-24-07 13:54pm
You are going through a lot. Based on your
experiences of being cheated on, I can
completely see whey your are feeling
anxious about your husband cheating on
you. It does sound like he was just
kidding on the text. I personally don't
trust females, either.
My husband sometimes falls asleep when we
are in a big, heated argument. That just
makes me more angry!!
I do believe that you are feeling the way
you are because you don't feel like the
beautiful, sexy woman you truly are. Being
pregnant and having a bad hair cut will do
that to any one (based on what you said
and going off what is happening to me
right now with my body and eyebrows!).
When is he being deployed?? Those women
sound like they have absolutely no
morals.
Take care!!!
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vanessalouanne
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 2268 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-24-07 15:42pm
thanks guys!! you always make me feel so
much better about things
we had a long long talk and i guess it
just took giving him time to cool off. He
told me he is going to write an email and
tell me all about it today. he really is
such a sweetheart i just have to forgive
him for being male lol.
And yea karin, they are unreal! It is
disgusting. I hate to say it but the
military is a dirty dirty place. I guess
im almost just use to is though because i
always am seeing examples of how so many
people lack morals.
But i told him i saw the text and he
started laughing and told me that it was
an inside joke from a before we were
together with this one guy. He said this
girl was old and married and had a kid and
was super ugly which is why they thought
it was so funny. Err i still dont like it
lol. He wasnt even mad at me for going
through his phone. I guess is serves me
right to over react. Its what i get for
snooping (although i wont lie it wont stop
me from snooping the next time... Im sorry
but i refuse to be caught with my eyes
shut again. Im just discreate about it
and do it when he doesnt know.. Judge me
for how i am but thats how i found out the
last time and i wont be made a fool of
twice.
ahh i just want to be back to normal lol.
Then i can just seduce him like the good
ol days with hot little outfits.. sniff
sniff not very sexy being 8 months preggo
lol
and im sorry you're
so scared of being hurt again, i can
understand that. i don't know your husband
but i think if he tells you over and over
again that he wouldn't do that to you that
he cares enough to let you know that he
wont, and he cares enough to try to make
you understand that.
but
i would have bad bad bad bad feelings
twords these girls, and i wouldn't want
them around my husband.
