Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 6 Location: prefer not to say
Re Posted: 12-07-05 09:02am
I had an abortion recently and want
someone to chat to but my experience was
unpleasant and I don't want to put anyone
else off by reading how I feel. What
forum can you suggest I go to?
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 12-07-05 11:51am
You can talk about it on this forum.. If
you dont like what anyone says just ignore
there post or pm me and I will take care
of it... Im here if you need to talk
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Tracy-c
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 6 Location: prefer not to say
Ok Here Goes Posted: 12-08-05 04:52am
I'm having a really hard time due to the
fact I recently had an abortion. I'm
more than mature enough to look after a
baby but I had no support and I spent a
long time agonising about what to do. My
partner had just split with me and moved
abroad and when I told my parents their
attitude was to push me away until I
sorted the problem out. My mother has
never been supportive and I thought this
would be the one thing she could help me
with as she had me in her teens. (i am
much older)anyway she has disowned me from
then until now and lets just say it's
going to be a lonely xmas. I had nobody
to help me and was being told by everyone
that I wouldn't manage on my own. I went
for the termination at 8 weeks but ran out
crying. My ex who I kept in contact with
kept telling me he didn't want a baby and
wouldn't be around to help so eventually I
went through with the termination. That
was a month ago. Since then I have cried
for my baby every day, tried to take my
own life and sunk into a deep depression,
I feel sad, angry,confused and lonely. My
ex is the only one who has actually
managed to get me through this along with
a few friends. He has visited and called
but still my parents have stayed silent
although they know from a relative all the
feelings of guilt I have. My eating
disorder has came back so I hardly eat. I
have nightmares about dead babies. I get
some professional help every few weeks
which helps a little but opens so many
wounds up that I cry for days afterwards.
I desperately want my baby back and fear
that because I am older I will not have
the chance again. I hate myself and have
no confidence left. Every day just seems
harder and I would like normality back but
I would also like my baby back or even a
baby.I didnt think I wanted children until
now. I wish I had had more support. I
think I knew when I was pregnant that I
wanted the baby. I had made provisions
for it and looked into childcare and even
had names for it but the poor child didn't
get any chances. I look at children now
and just want to say to their parents that
they are so lucky to have them. I don't
want this to upset anyone who is thinking
about a termination as many people feel
relieved afterwards and I cannot lie for
the first couple of hours I did have a
sense of relief. Everyone's situation is
different and nobody really knows how they
are going to feel afterwards. I just
feel i'd like to turn back the clock &
get my baby back. I know thats not going
to happen but I feel like i'm such a bad
mother for not giving that baby a life and
all I want now is to be a mother. All
around you, you see people with children
or celebrities in magazines with bumps and
I think, they would have been due the same
time as me. I actually sat in the dark 2
days after the termination as I couldnt
face watching the tv or reading a magazinr
or going out incase I saw babies. I'm
over that now but the depression and
sadness and anger towards the woman who
gave birth to me is not lifting,neither is
the guilt,depression,self loathing. Just
don't know how to get through it all, I
always said life is too short for regrets
but this is one that I can't pretend not
to have a regret about. Life is just
completely unbearable.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 12-08-05 15:13pm
I am so sorry that you feel that you feel
that you did not have the support that you
thought you would have, with the way you
were feeling, you might not have been able
to carry it to full term anyway, at least
now you know that their are choices out
there, you need to stop blaming yourself,
it is not your fault! We must move on!
I am sure thre will be other chances, it
is not the end of the world! We all want
things or people back but we know it
cannot happen and they would want you to
move on with your life and be happy. You
might want to change psych's, it does not
sound like that one is helping you much,
you might look into e.M.D.R. As that
helps a lot of people with loss, phobias
and problems in the past and allows you to
help release things and it is done by a
psychologist, who does not give you a
bunch of pills and I am not saying
anything against a psychiatrist. Like
you did say, you did feel some relief when
it was over.
Please take care!
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 12-09-05 07:20am
I'm sorry that you have to feel this way
and that no one is there for you or has
been there for you. It is very difficult
for some people to handle, and I have been
to all types of doc/psych's and etc. I
have yet to get over what went on with me,
and now that I do have children it is
sometimes even harder to cope with. Some
parents just dont understand, or they
where never shown love and attention and
it is difficult for them to do so. So
maybe not an excuse, but maybe that is how
your parents are. The nightmares I had
for awhile, and when I was pregnant they
came back even worse, but it did get
better as time passed. As I was always
told and I believe this so I am going to
tell you. (time heals all wounds). You
will be okay and time will help you
through all your sorrows. If you ever
need anyone to talk to I am here for you!
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Tracy-c
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 6 Location: prefer not to say
Thank You Posted: 12-09-05 07:40am
Thank you so much, those are really
comforting words and it helps me to talk
to people. I keep saying to myself, what
doesn't kill you,makes you stronger, it's
what keeps me going I guess..Today I feel
more positive but it's good days and bad
days, more bad than good but I hope this
changes.
Please just keep everything crossed that
my little one is safe and that I will have
lots more babies in the future...
Reading your messages and hearing that
there are chances again makes me hopeful
and next time everyone else including my
parents can keep away if they want to as I
won't be taking any interest in their
nasty comments or put downs. My mother
is 50 and old enough to know better as far
as i'm concerned. I can't forgive her.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 12-09-05 11:35am
Well im glad that you are feeling better..
And as I said before I am here if you
need to talk..
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Tracy-c
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 6 Location: prefer not to say
Mother From Hell Posted: 12-12-05 06:38am
I called my mother last night...I got
drunk and phoned to ask her why she
ignored me for a month and why she
wouldn't help me with the baby..I told her
about the times I tried to end it all and
the fact that I regretted the termination.
I asked her why she wouldn't ever supprt
me, why when I had never asked her for a
thing in life & the one thing I ask
for genuine help for she pushed me away,
why she couldn't be a mother at the time I
needed her most and why she didn't even
try and see it from my point of view..She
told me that I shouldn't have gotten
pregnant and she stuck by the fact that I
had almost ruined my ex boyfriend's life
when she didn't even know him. She told
me I was a disgrace and that she never
wanted to see or hear from me again..Can't
believe it she is just a horrible evil
woman with no heart and now I have no
mother and no baby. I just hate her.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 12-12-05 11:42am
Well I dont know you personally and you
dont know me either, but you have me..
I'm here if you need to talk or vent. I
think that you are a great person. Some
people just cant see behind blindness, and
you weren't going to ruin anyone's life.
Your x or whatever you call him choose to
have sex with you so he was taking chances
just like anyone else, but enough of them
lets talk about you. What you did was
what you thought was the best thing at the
time. Dont redicule yourself for that..
You will be able to have children in the
future as far as I can see but im no doc.
And maybe by that time you will be ready
and the person that you are with will love
the both of you.. I wouldnt worry about
anyone else, and smuthering your hurt and
pain in alcohol isnt going to help you
either.. You neddd to talk to people to
get over the hurt and pain that you are
feeling.. And it seems like to me it is
more than just the abortion that is
hurting you.. Good luck hun im here for
you
tazzyd
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 12-12-05 15:23pm
I am very sorry that you felt you had to
get drunk to talk to your mom an that she
responded like she did. Most of us are
here for you if you need someone. You
might check out mental health and let them
know that your mother has turned her back
on you and that you need a little help
getting your life back on track, aand
explain the situation to them, please do
not take me wrong, I am not saying you are
crazy but we all need a little help
sometime. I know that I would never turn
my back on my kids even though they are
grown and on their own, they still know
they could come to me in times of need.
E.M.D.R. Helped me thru some negative
times in my life, you might look into
it.
Good luck! Remember that we are here for
you!
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Tracy-c
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 6 Location: prefer not to say
Re Posted: 12-13-05 04:30am
Thanks for all the kind remarks.
Sometimes I feel like i'm going mad cos I
just don't know how to get out of this
mess that i'm in. I thought that my mum
would maybe have calmed down after a month
but no she is 10 times worse and now has
my father and sister calling and texting
me telling me that i'm the one that got
the termination, it's my fault which makes
it all so much worse.
I'm gonna speak to some of these people
that was suggested and see if I can get
back on track.Thanks for all your help...
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 12-13-05 09:09am
Your welcome.. And agian if you ever need
to talk or just vent we are right here for
you!!
i see you are still allowing jamie to post
non support
here!
first off.....I did not write anything
non-supportive. I gave my opinion, it
just want not supportive of abortion. If
you read, this person was undecided and
unsure and I was there to give my support,
just not your version. Oopsie, so sorry
to upset you. Tanya will see that for
herself.
And speaking of non-support, your above
post has nothing to do with tracy-c's post
or problems with what she is going through
so take your pathetic psychotic episodes
elsewhere. How idiotic you just made
yourself look.......Again.
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sunshine424
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005 Posts: 397 Location: New York
Tracy.... Posted: 12-15-05 17:59pm
I am truly sorry that you are going
through this. I can imagine how terrible
you must feel. I truly feel for you and
despite my pro-life stance, I feel for you
because you have feelings in regards to
your abortion. You are not a bad person.
You are going through a bad time rather.
I think your mother is a coward and in all
reality, she is not a mother because if
she were, she would never turn her back on
you. In reality, let it be known, she is
actually the one she sees as a disgrace,
not you. She is unhappy with herself.
Something is probably eating at her to
make her turn her back against her own
daughter. In reality, what she is doing
to you is no better than having an
abortion. I wish she knew that, for your
sake. Move on dear. I'm not stupid, I
know that cannot be easy. Mothers were
made because we as children need them.
But they were not made to be like yours.
I'm not trying to disrespect your mother
so forgive me, I just think that you
cannot go through the hardest time of your
life with support from your mom. I see
that as more of a tragedy than your
abortion.
Please seek help and be strong. You will
survive. Try to refrain from getting
drunk and calling your mom as it will only
cause you more pain. If she has any sense
whatsoever, she will realize her ways and
come to you one day. But don't dwell on
that thought please. Live your own life
as it is worth living. God bless and
take care of yourself.
Pm me if you need to talk.
Jamie
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 12-27-05 13:06pm
Have a nice day.....
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Tazzy Posted: 05-27-06 16:26pm
I have been thinking of you! Hope things
are going okay for you!
The very best to you and yours!
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klf1942
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2006 Posts: 6 Location: Michigan
Abortion Posted: 06-10-06 18:58pm
Hi,
i myself did not have an abortion, but, my
youngest daughter did. It was not easy
for her, but, I gave her all the support
she needed. She did very well and we have
never talked about it since. She now has
a beautiful girl and is very happy. Don't
think about the past. It's over and can't
be changed. Look to the future. For
whatever reason, it was meant to happen.
All things in life are planned for a
reason that only god knows. Believe me.
Please do not blame yourself and get on
with your life. This may have been a
blessing in disguise.
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cherry88
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 633 Location: ,
Re: Abortion Posted: 07-01-06 06:26am
klf1942
wrote:
hi,
i myself did not have an abortion, but, my
youngest daughter did. It was not easy
for her, but, I gave her all the support
she needed. She did very well and we
have never talked about it since. She
now has a beautiful girl and is very
happy. Don't think about the past.
It's over and can't be changed. Look to
the future. For whatever reason, it was
meant to happen. All things in life are
planned for a reason that only god knows.
Believe me. Please do not blame
yourself and get on with your life. This
may have been a blessing in
disguise.
now that is some good support!
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 07-01-06 15:10pm
I very much agree!
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-09-06 11:01am
Why has the topic "i eat aborted fetuses"
not been removed yet? It is an eyesore
and, quite frankly, insulting.
