Schizophrenia Forum - I'm So Schizophrenic I Can Read the Writing On the Surface O

ONDERDONK wrote:

...I KNOW, it's not really THERE, but.....
it's controlling all the stuff that really IS there!"

"What's 'not there'?"

"the CAVES! I'm so schizophrenic I can read the writing on the surface of the dark matter! It's alive! It started talking to me! It was the pellets - after reading all those recipes, with arsenic and lead and mercury and gold, who knows WHAT was in there - I asked but all I got was "NO TELLIN' WHAT"'s in those pellets, with the glowing eyebrows of a convicted irrationalist. I found a corpse in a mausoleum on a hill, and I put one of the pellets in the corpse's mouth. He got up, twisted his head, bent both his arms, and started rocking them back and forth in sync together, like he was dancing. Seeing the corpse's reaction, I tried a pellet of my own. I was right, life is fusion, and consciousness is the light hitting a surface. Ignore everything, and yet shine the light, and you hit a wall like a cave that the sun shines within. A corky cave, as I found a hole, climbed up through the gooey layers, and tied a rope so I could leave and come back. (Otherwise this was the scene where I leave humanity behind forever in a big flash of light.)"

"And these caves are controlling "everything" somehow?"

"No, not the cave, the WRITING - the writing is ALIVE somehow. I can talk to it, and it's making people do all the crazy things they do, and it's hard to tell why but it doesn't look good... it watches closely as our collective blood rises and falls like a green tidal ocean, and pumps in all kinds of alternating patterns..."

"And you say you can "talk" to the pictures?"

"Well the thing is I realized I've been talking to them all my life, in my nightmares, since I was a kid. These are the monsters, the monsters that chase me, the ones lurking around the corner when all of a sudden the lights don't work, the ones with the hurricane-like wind in-sucking force, that rearrange the genome when they catch you, and that can sometimes be talked out of an attack, but will sometimes just kill and kill, and they give off their own multicolored light. And because of that light, they've always stood out from "reality", even when they sneak in and try to create a "situation". But now I see them on the cave and I know that's not THIS world, but because of where I see it and what I see it doing, I'm starting to react. To be still. Because of it. Isn't that crazy?"
psychotic stillness, or catatonic sz? don't just STAND there ?!?!?!

I dont know what to say to that.Is that your actual experience?
Are you taking any medication or had any tests done?