i really really do. i feel so childish and
whiny, but i can't make it go away!
here's why i'm jealous--
my brother and his wife are having a huge
baby shower sometime soon. yesterday my
mom told me that my grandmother and 2
aunts are coming from ny to attend.
for my shower, i had to schlep all the way
to ny (6 hour drive while pregnant in the
summer) because nobody was willing to come
here. because i had to go to ny for my
shower, my sister-in-law, my good friend,
and all my work friends didn't get to
attend. on top of that i had to pay over
$300 to attend my own shower (gas, food,
hotel)!
i just feel ripped off and hurt.
|
mc4ever02
Supporter
Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3636 Location: Orlando, FL Usa
Thanks: 5
Thanked:2
Posted: 05-30-07 07:48am
Aww, hun, I'm sorrry. I would feel hurt
too.
Have you said anything about it? You know,
asking what is different about their baby
shower than yours? Tell them you'll make
sure to do whatever it is that they are
doing that is so special at your next baby
shower...see what they say to that...
~Big hug~
|
Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 05-30-07 07:57am
Sorry .B .I would be upset too. Why do
you think it's happening this way?
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-30-07 08:07am
I think you have every right to feel the
way you do. KNow what I 've realized
though??? Family sucks sometimes.
|
Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10821 Location: ,
Thanks: 62
Thanked:42
Posted: 05-30-07 08:09am
i really don't know... i just wish i
didn't feel this way! i feel like such a
baby.
i do mention stuff to my mom and she
always say, "what, are you jealous?" and
i'll say, "well... yes, i am", and she
just thinks it's silly.
another thing that bugged me was on
mother's day. when i got to my parents'
house i saw a card for me and a card for
my sil. i asked my mom why there was a
card for her and she said "because she's a
mother-to-be and she deserves to feel
special too". last year on mother's day i
was a mother-to-be and had hoped i might
get a card because i thought it would be a
really sweet gesture, instead my mom said
"and next year you'll get to celebrate!"
oh, and my mom buys finn used clothes and
new clothes for the new baby.
i don't know, i just feel like the black
sheep of the family. it's stupid.
|
arcadia
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4469 Location: Illinois,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-30-07 08:14am
your feelings are totally justified, .b..
seems like there's some favoritism going
on & that definitely isn't cool. it's
not fair at all.
although it's not on the level that you're
dealing with.. i see lots of favoritism in
my household. my sisters are definintely
favorited over me. becky is allowed to use
*my* car anytime she needs to- even if i
have to work, or already had plans.. &
.she never puts gas in it, & will not
tell me when it's on empty.. so i will go
to start my car & ta-da! the gas
needle won't even move. she uses up all
the gas i put in it & doesn't put any
back in. when i confront her or my mom
about it, they say it's because she's
going to .france in a few weeks &
needs money... what? don't even get me
started on the .france thing. it's just
super unfair that i have to share my car
when it's the car with the carseat in it
& it's hardly ever here when i am.. so
if something happens & i need to rush
somewhere with .gabe.. i'm screwed. i had
to share my car with .kayla for a year,
then she got her own car & doesn't
have to share it at all.
.anyway.. i didn't mean to go off on a
tangent in your topic, .bridge. you have
every right to feel the way you do,
because that is some grade .a caca!
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 05-30-07 08:21am
I'd be pissed tooand to be honest with
you,as childish as it is, I wouldn't go to
their shower.I'd still get them something
but I wouldn't go.I would end up throwing
a fit about it. . .I know,I know,it's
immature but I would!
krissy,what are they gona do when you move
out?
|
mc4ever02
Supporter
Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3636 Location: Orlando, FL Usa
Thanks: 5
Thanked:2
Posted: 05-30-07 08:23am
I agree with .jess. Sometimes, family
sucks.
I'm the black sheep of the family (through
way of my mother. Of course, living 'in
sin' didn't help matters) They always
thought she should have married better
than my dad. (I agree there...) And it was
always an 'I told you so' type deal. And I
grew up dirt floor poor because my dad
left. My mom did the best she could. But I
was working a full time job and going to
school by the time I was 14 just so ends
would meet. I always sort of resented the
fact that I grew up so young. And now my
mom is remarried and my little sister
(half) grows up comfortably. (whith my
help). And I'm extremely jealous. But I
don't think that makes me a bad person. If
you down yourself, you'll just feel worse
toward the whole situation. You are
justified in feeling that way, and it
frustrates me that your mother would brush
off your feelings like that. I'm sending you a
big virtual hug.
|
arcadia
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4469 Location: Illinois,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-30-07 08:25am
~*~Melissa~*~
wrote:
krissy,what are they gona do
when you move out?
.that's what i keep asking them. because
my car is most definitely coming with me,
& i am selling that sucker (hopefully
to .terra! ) .. so i hope they
plan on getting her a car. whatever. once
i move out, it's not my problem anymore.
|
jessesgirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
Thanks: 16
Thanked:3
Posted: 05-30-07 08:27am
I'd feel the same way.
For our wedding we got $50 from my mom's
cousin and for my cousin's wedding they
got a week free in her condo in Alabama.
i would be jealous. actually, i'd
probably be furious and take it as them
saying my child is less important than the
coming baby. the worst part is that you
actually say how you feel and your mother
shrugs it off. but there isn't really
much you can do about any of it. i'd
bring finn to the baby shower so that he
gets the attention he should have before,
haha.
|
rasuyoung
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 464 Location: Long Island, NY
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 05-30-07 14:06pm
Like everyone else said, you have every
right to feel jealous. I'm sorry you had
to go through all that with your own
shower! They should have been
accommodating you, not the other way
around. I would tell you to make your
feelings known in a non-accusatory way,
but .I don't know who the right person
would be to approach. You could gently
point out to your mom the contrasts
between your shower and your
sister-in-law's and tell her that you're
feeling hurt. For your next shower, don't
make any compromises - you deserve to be
relaxed and to get the best.