I Cant Do This Anymore : boyfriend is mean to me Posted: 05-30-07 15:24pm
Hi well I have tried being strong and all
it did was cause me more pain. Let me
start from the beginning of this
pregnancy. Not the relationship because
that owuld make this way too long. I am 6
months pregnant. Since the beginning of my
pregnancy I have been through alot fo
stress with my husband. He had wanted me
to have an abortion but I said no of
course I am totally against that. Anyways
we have been struggling financially since
day one because he is in major debt and
has horrible credit. Then we couldnt get
on any help with the governement for
anything because we made too much. But we
did split because he was being a jerk to
me when I was three months pregnant. then
I went back to him. Then when I was 18
weeks pregnant I went into preterm labor
and he asked when I was getting out so he
could go do something. It was 10 pm at
night when I went home and he dropped me
off and said he was oging to work. He
works a 9-5 job by the way. And he didnt
get home until 1 am. Then a few days later
he was out of state on business and I went
to hospital again and I tried calling him
at 12 am his time and his boss had no idea
where he was at, so his mom tried calling
him an hour later and still his boss had
no idea where he was. Then the next day I
called him after psedning the enitre night
awake in the hospital crying. I called him
and asked him where he was and he said he
was ata meeting. He is a computer tech for
a small company, meeting my a@$. So I
forgave. Veer since then he has been on
the road alot, he oculd care less about
what I say or do anymore. He has been so
mean to me. I got put back in hospital 2
weeks ago and he was just evil telling the
nurses I needed to go home cuz I needed ot
clean. My job was threatening to fire me
on top of that. Which my job is another
huge stressor in my life but that isnt
what I am talking about. Anyway he refuses
to treat me like he loves me or show me
any affection or help me at all around the
house. Then this past weekend the worst
thing happened. He attempted to rape me
because I had an ifection so I couldnt
have sex and so I was rubbing him and
whatnot, then he said that he was going to
rape me and he was serious. He starting
ripping my clothes off and I was literally
kicking and hitting and pleading with him
to stop. He finally did but he had this
look on his face I never want to see again
that really scared me. I just feel so
hopeless in my life because I have had so
many horrible things happen to me in the
past and it just keeps piling up. My
husband has not ever really been that
great to me. All I want for once in my
life is to be happy and things to go fine.
I am not suicidal or anything I am just
left without hope for our future son that
things will be as good as I had wanted the
to be.
|
dynamicdebz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 41 Location: Sheffield, UK
Posted: 05-30-07 16:46pm
I'm not even going to suggest to try to
make this relationship work because it is
never going to happen. Get out while
you've still got your sanity above
anything else that you may have lost.
I think you know he isn't worthy of you or
your future son. He isn't doing you any
favours the way he treats you. It isn't
helping your medical problems carrying the
baby.
If you do your self one favour in your
lifetime it is to get rid of him, you are
worth so much more.
I am from UK so not 100% sure how much
help is out there for you but I guess
there is some sort of organisation that
can help. This will lead you on to a road
of inner wealth & sanity. There is
someone waiting out there for you, who
will love & care for you & not
treat you in this dispicable way.
Don't even worry about him working late
supposedly or any other strange excuse he
gives you, while he is away he isn't
abusing or attempting to rape you while
pregnant. I think you know he is doing at
these times.
Get out please for your own & baby's
sake!
Let me know how you go on!
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Re: I Cant Do This Anymore Posted: 05-31-07 09:49am
pumpkine0011
wrote:
Hi well I have tried being
strong and all it did was cause me more
pain. Let me start from the beginning of
this pregnancy. Not the relationship
because that owuld make this way too long.
I am 6 months pregnant. Since the
beginning of my pregnancy I have been
through alot fo stress with my husband. He
had wanted me to have an abortion but I
said no of course I am totally against
that. Anyways we have been struggling
financially since day one because he is in
major debt and has horrible credit. Then
we couldnt get on any help with the
governement for anything because we made
too much. But we did split because he was
being a jerk to me when I was three months
pregnant. then I went back to him. Then
when I was 18 weeks pregnant I went into
preterm labor and he asked when I was
getting out so he could go do something.
It was 10 pm at night when I went home and
he dropped me off and said he was oging to
work. He works a 9-5 job by the way. And
he didnt get home until 1 am. Then a few
days later he was out of state on business
and I went to hospital again and I tried
calling him at 12 am his time and his boss
had no idea where he was at, so his mom
tried calling him an hour later and still
his boss had no idea where he was. Then
the next day I called him after psedning
the enitre night awake in the hospital
crying. I called him and asked him where
he was and he said he was ata meeting. He
is a computer tech for a small company,
meeting my a@$. So I forgave. Veer since
then he has been on the road alot, he
oculd care less about what I say or do
anymore. He has been so mean to me. I got
put back in hospital 2 weeks ago and he
was just evil telling the nurses I needed
to go home cuz I needed ot clean. My job
was threatening to fire me on top of that.
Which my job is another huge stressor in
my life but that isnt what I am talking
about. Anyway he refuses to treat me like
he loves me or show me any affection or
help me at all around the house. Then this
past weekend the worst thing happened. He
attempted to rape me because I had an
ifection so I couldnt have sex and so I
was rubbing him and whatnot, then he said
that he was going to rape me and he was
serious. He starting ripping my clothes
off and I was literally kicking and
hitting and pleading with him to stop. He
finally did but he had this look on his
face I never want to see again that really
scared me. I just feel so hopeless in my
life because I have had so many horrible
things happen to me in the past and it
just keeps piling up. My husband has not
ever really been that great to me. All I
want for once in my life is to be happy
and things to go fine. I am not suicidal
or anything I am just left without hope
for our future son that things will be as
good as I had wanted the to
be.
wow. . .hun, it sounds
like he is resenting you and the child.if
he didn't treat you well in the first
place and now you are having a child
together,it just made things worse.It
sounds to me like he is lying a lot and
has no respect for you what so ever.(In my
opinion)I encourage you to get a divorce
from this man and clooect child suport.Is
there anywhere else you can go to get away
from him?I'm afraid for you and your
unborn child and what he might do.He acts
very abusive towards you and you don't
need that,ever! Please get some help. I am
definetly here if you need to talk! I'm
sorry your going through this
sweetie.Btw,how old are you and your
hubby?
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-31-07 10:18am
I know this is easier said than done, but
you need to leave. Do you have family you
can stay with? This is not the time for
you to be going through this. He sounds
like a complete *** and maybe you leaving
will wake him up. He is getting violent
with you, do you want that happening to
your child?? You need to think of you and
this baby now.
|
sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-31-07 11:47am
Please, get out of this situation! You do
not need this! You do not deserve this
type of treatment! He has no respect fo
you or the baby that you will be bringing
into this world! If you do not have family
to go to then go to your human services
department. Their is places you can go to
nowadays that will help you! You do not
have to take it. I am soor you ar going
through this!
I was brought up to believe that you make
your bed, you lay in it. I learned real
fast that when those sheets get dirty that
you have to change them and when they get
real bad that you have to throw them away
and get more. I have been there! I got
kicked in the stomach at 5 and 1/2 months
pregnant and lost the pregnancy and that
was a big wake-up call for me. I left him
and luckily ended up with 2 wonderful
children that are now grown and are on
there own and are doing great an I have a
very wonderful husband!
|
onmyway_0x
Supporter
Joined: 12 Jan 2007 Posts: 760 Location: Canada
Posted: 06-01-07 16:13pm
That is an absolutely awful situation.
Hun you need to get out.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant and fresh out of a
pretty rough relationship myself, it's
been a while since we were "together" but
technically up until about 2 months ago we
were still involved.
He was always rough with me but at 6
months, he actually put me in the
hospital.
At that point it was like "this guy or my
child".
The thought of going it alone is scary.
The thought of staying with him was
horrifying.
You will be ok. Your baby will be okay,
you just need to get out.
I had a real hard time accepting that and
am currently going to a pregnancy center
... and I go once a week and talk to one
of the counsellors there. Having an
unbiased opinion from someone is extremely
important. You need to talk about it and
you absolutely 100% need support to get
out.
This isn't just some guy, it's your
husband and the father of your child.. but
you need to see what's best for you.
I see so many girls even friends of mine
that are pregnant and their partners are
complete fools. The girls wont get away
because they dont want to be single
moms... they look at me with pity... but
in the end it is me who feels sorry for
them.
You need to stop "wanting" things to be
okay , and make them okay. Everybody has a
past sweetie, it's the strong one's who
actually move on from them that lead happy
lives.
If you EVER need anyone to talk to pm me
... I have msn as well if you'd ever like
to talk.
I'd really like to be here for you and you
have my undivided attention and support.
Please take good care of yourself.
|
sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2712
Thanks: 8
Thanked:1
Posted: 06-01-07 16:54pm
Where are you in CO? I will come get you.
I am totally serious about this! This is
awful, and you don't need it. I fear this
will get worse and worse until ssomething
really awful happens. There is a place
right here in Fort Collins called SAVA
house that you can stay at for free and
get some help. Also, Crossroads safehouse
can help you with everything you need
right now while your'e pregnant.
I know that this is not an easy time for
you especially being pregnant. I
personally would not stay or go back into
this kind of a relationship. The baby
that you are carrying can feel your stress
and it is not good for brain development.
I agree with others here that it sounds
like your husband is resenting you and
your baby, not to mention what he is doing
is highly abusive. I would definatley
mention this to your dr (as it will be
documented and you can use it in legal
proceedings if necessary). Also talk to
any friends or family members who you know
you can really trust. Also document his
behaviour and incidents between the two of
you and if he has physically, emotionally
or psychologically abused you. I am
concerned for your welfare at this time
because you have already gone into pre
term labour (which is also a sign of abuse
in pregnant women). If you don't get out
you run a high risk of miscarrying.
I also would recommend getting into
counselling asap. Your dr can also
provide you with a list of government
funded programs for abuse counselling.
If you do not have anywhere to go your dr
can also give you a list of local
resources to use. You need to think about
you and your unborn child now and what is
in his/hers best interest. An abusive
environment is not what is in the best
interest for any child nor is it for
yourself.
If you plan on getting out make sure you
are prepared to see a lawyer. Open up a
bank account in your name only and do not
tell your husband you have. Then start
putting money into it (as much as you can)
here and there. A few dollars here and
there adds up. Have a small bag of
clothes packed and stored at a friends or
family members house. Try to go about
your day normally so that your husband
does not suspect anything. Last of all be
careful. Separation is the most dangerous
time for women. You will always need to
be one step ahead of your husband. Trust
me I was when I got out and I am thanking
myself now.
Please take care and keep us all updated
on how you are doing.
|
dynamicdebz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 41 Location: Sheffield, UK
Posted: 06-16-07 15:21pm
Lets us know how you have been getting on
Pumpkine...
