Relationships and Marriage Forum - Somebody Please Just Give Me Some Support I Feel Alone

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Hi well I have tried being strong and all it did was cause me more pain. Let me start from the beginning of this pregnancy. Not the relationship because that owuld make this way too long. I am 6 months pregnant. Since the beginning of my pregnancy I have been through alot fo stress with my husband. He had wanted me to have an abortion but I said no of course I am totally against that. Anyways we have been struggling financially since day one because he is in major debt and has horrible credit. Then we couldnt get on any help with the governement for anything because we made too much. But we did split because he was being a jerk to me when I was three months pregnant. Then I went back to him. Then when I was 18 weeks pregnant I went into preterm labor and he asked when I was getting out so he could go do something. It was 10 pm at night when I went home and he dropped me off and said he was oging to work. He works a 9-5 job by the way. And he didnt get home until 1 am. Then a few days later he was out of state on business and I went to hospital again and I tried calling him at 12 am his time and his boss had no idea where he was at, so his mom tried calling him an hour later and still his boss had no idea where he was. Then the next day I called him after psedning the enitre night awake in the hospital crying. I called him and asked him where he was and he said he was ata meeting. He is a computer tech for a small company, meeting my a@$. So I forgave. Veer since then he has been on the road alot, he oculd care less about what I say or do anymore. He has been so mean to me. I got put back in hospital 2 weeks ago and he was just evil telling the nurses I needed to go home cuz I needed ot clean. My job was threatening to fire me on top of that. Which my job is another huge stressor in my life but that isnt what I am talking about. Anyway he refuses to treat me like he loves me or show me any affection or help me at all around the house. Then this past weekend the worst thing happened. He attempted to rape me because I had an ifection so I couldnt have sex and so I was rubbing him and whatnot, then he said that he was going to rape me and he was serious. He starting ripping my clothes off and I was literally kicking and hitting and pleading with him to stop. He finally did but he had this look on his face I never want to see again that really scared me. I just feel so hopeless in my life because I have had so many horrible things happen to me in the past and it just keeps piling up. My husband has not ever really been that great to me. All I want for once in my life is to be happy and things to go fine. I am not suicidal or anything I am just left without hope for our future son that things will be as good as I had wanted the to be.