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VampD20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Newcastle UK
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Please Help
Posted: 02-26-04 11:37am
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Now I know most of you here are against
abortion and I am too in a way I always
thought that people who get pregnant are
just stupid enough not to be careful and
that I could never take a life.
I have just found out that I am pregnant,
and I think i'm roughly 5 weeks along. I
am 20 years old and not working as yet and
live at home with my parents and boyfriend
of 2 years who moved in a few months ago
(long story)
i feel so lost as I feel I can't in any
way keep this baby, I don't have any money
of my own and have around £800 of debt.
Also I would be so scared of telling my
dad (my mam knows) as he's always thought
of me as his little girl and he doesn't
even know I have sex!
I have been sleeping with my boyfriend for
the full 2 years we have been going out
and not once have I got pregnant. I am
on the pill but I know its not 100% and we
don't use a condom stupid I know, but I
haven't had the sh*ts or been sick however
I did miss taking it once.
I feel that I can't give this baby up for
adoption as once I have it I know I will
bond with it instantly as well as when I
am carrying it and probably won't want to
give it away and it will be so hard to I
really can't and if that happens I will go
through hell keeping it as well as I have
no means to be able to.
I know that having an abortion is wrong to
many people and even I know its wrong as I
get so upset even thinking of what I will
be doing to it so please I don't need any
posts saying abortion is wrong, don't do
it, your killing a life as I already know
that.
All I want is options and ideas as well as
a bit of information,
how late can you have an abortion?
Do you get put to sleep?
Ive heard that there is a risk of death is
this true? And how often?
And above all ive heard that the baby can
feel pain is this true? 
and any advice from people who have been
through it. Thankyou so much I really
need support.
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida
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Posted: 02-26-04 12:28pm
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Hey hun. I am so sorry that you are in
this situation. I am against abortion
also, but I know what a hard decision it
must be for you. My baby is due in 3 1/2
weeks and I could never even dream of
giving him up to someone else. He's mah
lil buddy and I have something with him
that no one else can ever have with him.
So for me, adoption has been totally and
completely out of the question since day
1. But i'm lucky. Unlike most people, I
have the financial and emotional support I
need to be able to have and keep this
baby. But I understand not everyone does.
But as for your dad, you are 20 years
old, you are entitled to have sex if you'd
like, and he just has to deal with it. At
least you were responsible about it. It's
good that your mom knows. Are you sure
there is absoloutly no way you can keep
the baby? Where do you live? Do they
have medicaid or anything like that? I
really wish that you would give your baby
a chance, but it is you decision. I just
want you to think long and hard about it
so you know you are making the right
decision. I'm here to talk if you need
me.
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VampD20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Newcastle UK
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Posted: 02-26-04 12:56pm
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Thanks for your quick reply and offering
to listen if I need to talk, that helps
alot as I haven't really got many people
to turn to right now.
My mam does know about it but she seems a
bit dissapointed in me so it makes it hard
to talk to her and turn to. As for my
boyfriend he is very understanding and
supportive however I feel he doesn't fully
understand either as he's not the one with
a little life growing inside of him 
it is sooo sweet hearing about your little
baby and being your buddy and all, you
must feel such a big bond with him even
before he's born. Thats why you can
understand how hard it would be to give
him up for adoption? If you had decided
to do that and then carried the baby this
long i'm sure by the time you have him
that you wouldn't want to give him up
which is why i'm scared to make the
decision to keep the baby and give it up
for adoption as I know I would bond so
much with it and couldn't do it in the
end.
I live in newcastle in the uk what do you
mean by medicaid?
I would keep the baby if I had the means
to as I hate the thought of abortion so
much!! It makes me upset just even
considering it but I feel so lost and I
don't know what to do.
Hope you reply as it really helps hearing
peoples thoughts as at first you always
feel alone!
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sammisa
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jan 2004
Posts: 250
Location: Washington, State
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 02-26-04 13:12pm
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I hope this helps.. Please donot have the
abortion, you will regret it for the rest
of your life. I hear that all the time
from people who opted for abortion. I,
like you, got pregnant at 19, I didn't
have a job, and was very scared.. I was
extremely happy after awhile.. But, when
I told my dad, he was very upset with me
because he didn't even know that I was
having sex yet. After awhile, when I
started to grow in the tummy area, and he
was able to feel the baby kick, and see
how happy I was as a mommmy to be, then he
was fine, and now he is totally happy.
But anyway, I just want to help you by
telling you that abortion is not the
answer. That baby will love you wether
you have money or not. And there are
many clinics etc . That will help you
with the pregnancy, just check on line,
search for insurance for pregnant women
etc.. Please, I would hate for you to
have the abortion, and then become
extrememly depressed etc. Because you
would regret it.. Good luck to you, and I
hope that you make the best choice for
you..
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manfat
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2004
Posts: 28
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Re: Please Help
Posted: 02-26-04 13:52pm
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How late can you have an abortion?
Upto 25 weeks (later if health risks
arise)
do you get put to sleep?
Normally you are kept awake, but you can
ask to
ive heard that there is a risk of death is
this true? And how often?
The risks are minimal + are are normally
caused by blood loss due to the dr tearing
the uterus, doesnt happen much and can
usually be fixed
and above all ive heard that the baby can
feel pain is this true?
nobody knows that for sure but is
medically highly improbable
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VampD20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Newcastle UK
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Posted: 02-26-04 14:15pm
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Thanks for answering my questions. How do
youknow so much? Did you just research or
have you been through it?
I didn't know you could have it up to 25
weeks!! Obviously if you do have it its
best to get it done earlier.
I am really stuck for what I should do
though. But thanks for all your help here
its really helped having people to share
it with.
One question though, i'm only 5 weeks
along, the thing is i'm getting a few
pains in my stomach, sort of like the
pains you get when you have cramp or when
you are constipated and need the toilet.
I'm slightly worried about this and
wondered if this is normal? The pains
aren't really bad and they are bearable
but I wondered if it meant anything? I
mean i'm having trouble going to the
toilet so I wonder if the pains are just
that?
Thanks again.
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Guest
Guest
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
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Advise
Posted: 02-26-04 15:41pm
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Hi I sincerly feel for you.
And I really hope you think long about
this.And I hope your family rally's around
you and gives you the support you will
need no matter what your decission will
be.
I am against abotion.Iam someone who has
just went threw another miscarriage.
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VampD20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Newcastle UK
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Posted: 02-26-04 16:23pm
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I am very sorry to hear about your
miscarrage it must be awful to go through
that and here about people and abortion.
My mam had one before she had me.
Its just I feel lost and I really don't
know what decision to make. On one hand I
want to have a life first, get a place to
live of my own and a decent job behind me
and enjoy life before having a baby as
well as have money behind me and be
settled with in myself as well as in life,
and on the other hand I want this baby as
I am against abortion and I find it hard
to think about it even but I feel its my
only choice. I wish I could get the baby
removed and frozen till I was ready 
I just don't know what to do and I don't
want to get an abortion unless I am really
sure.
Can anyone also help with the question
above, above? About the pains I am
getting?
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida
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Posted: 02-26-04 16:38pm
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I never really had any pains so i'm not
sure. Some of the girls on here will tell
you they had some though but they sound
like you should be ok. They don't sound
like miscarriage pains. Medicaid is a
form of health insurance here in the us.
It covers my pregnancy, and will cover my
son for a while after hes born. Which is
a good thing because, pregnancy can be
very expensive! But if you would like, I
can try and look into health insurance in
the uk. I will do anything it takes to
try and convince you to keep your precious
little baby. I honestly don't want you to
have an abortion but if you feel it is the
answer for you then like I said, i'm here
to talk. But remember, you can do it if
you really want to. I really think you
can manage. You seem to have a very good
head on your shoulders and I respect that.
I'm so sorry you even have to be in this
situation. But i'm still here for
you......
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VampD20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Newcastle UK
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Posted: 02-26-04 17:11pm
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Thanks, I would like it if you did look
into it and I will to. I think over here
in the uk pregnancy and doctors checkup,
scans etc are covered by something we have
called nhs so its free. We only pay for
everything once the baby is born. But
thanks for looking up for me I never know
where to look exactly so that would be a
help.
I really don't want to have an abortion
either I just feel trapped, but it would
be helpful for any info on health prices
etc maybe after birth aswell.
Thank you for being so nice and helpful I
really need that right now, makes me feel
less alone in this.
Its funny, I don't know if anyone can
relate but even though im only 5 - 6 weeks
I already feel close to it in some strange
way which makes the decision harder for
me.
The pains i'm getting aren't strong and
they would be if I was having a
miscarriage I presume so I think its just
typical back pain and cramps.
You say your 3 half weeks away from giving
birth, you excited? Thought up names?
Did you ever face the thought of abortion?
Or is your situation ideal as in
planned?
Thanks again  for once today i'm
smiling.
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida
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Posted: 02-26-04 17:29pm
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Yes I am getting very excited......Very
scared and nervous too. His name is going
to be joshua blake dewitt. No it was not
planned. The condom broke. The thought
of abortion never crossed my mind. I just
knew I couldn't do it. And like I said,
from the start, adoption was never an
option for me. I respect you so much for
looking into other options. That makes me
so happy. But I agree with your comment
on wishing you could freeze the baby until
you are ready to have it. Lol.....I kind
of wish I could have to. But I wouldn't
change anything for the world right now.
I will definately try doing a little
research on insurance in new castle. I am
home practically all day every day since I
can't go to school until april, so I have
lots of time on my hands. I will
definately let you know if I find
anything! And I hope you feel lots
better! I am here whenever you need to
talk! If you have yahoo, my screen name
is sneakyfreakygrl and you could talk to
me on that. I really hope we can find a
way to make this work so you can keep your
baby!
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VampD20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Newcastle UK
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Posted: 02-26-04 17:46pm
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Thanks so much.
How old are you by the way?
Well i'm off to bed now as I am sooo tired
( don't know why that could be  )
i look forward to reading your posts soon
and i'll download yahoo to add you to the
list. You have been really helpful.
And I am definatly looking into everything
first as I hate the thought of abortion.
You never know one day they may come up
with a way to freeze the baby till your
ready lol
thanks again and I look forward to hearing
from you and what you have found for
insurance etc.
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida
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Posted: 02-26-04 18:03pm
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Actually I am only 14. I will be 15 on
march 15th. I am very young and I know it
but I absoloutly refused to do anything
other than keep this baby. My mom was
very upset, but now she loves him. She
loves to kiss him and let him kick her in
the face! Lol it's so funny. She call's
him nana's boy. And she got a sign for
the front yard that says "it's a grandson"
to put out on saturday for my baby shower!
Lol.....She cracks me up sometimes. But
I don't know what I would do without
her.....She's been so great through all
this. I can't believe the way I used to
treat her! She always said I was gonna
regret it one day and by god she was
right! Lol. Luckily my mom is kind and
forgiving and I lover her to death. I
still hate some of the things she does,
but I love her. I just wish everyone
mother was as supportive and helpful as
mine. By the way, maybe you should try
coming over to the teen pregnancy forum.
Most of the girls there are great and so
helpful. I'm sure they would love you!
I'm a little tired but it's only 6 pm
here! Lol. My head hurts from staring at
this screen. I'm going to start a little
research on uk insurance right now. I
will post if I find anything. Good night
and get some rest. Don't stress! We'll
do what we can to help you and your little
one.
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida
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VampD20
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Newcastle UK
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Posted: 02-27-04 04:25am
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Thanks for having a look!! Some of that
helped.
Wow I didn't know you were 14, you act and
sound alot older on here it must have been
hard to decide to keep the baby but i'm so
glad you could make that choice.
I'm off out today, to the doctors for a
chat and check its been snowing
here though so its soooooo cold outside.
I was thinking, have you got an email? As
we can email instead of here lol
thanks so much.
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003
Posts: 1762
Location: Venice, Florida
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Posted: 02-27-04 13:22pm
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Yeah I am only 14....Lol. I'm glad it
helped some. I will keep looking. Good
luck at the doctors! I am about to leave
for a doctors appt. Too. I am 37 weeks
today! Yay! Not too much longer.....Hope
everything goes well and I will talk to
you later. Tata for now!
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kitten
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2004
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
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Posted: 03-10-04 21:57pm
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Hi guys,
i know that everyone is against abortion.
I was too. When I was 17, I got pregnant.
I was stupid in thinking that it had only
been a week since I had been off the pill,
it would still be effective. I went
through hell. I had major morning
sickness. On top of that, the baby's
father had moved away. These are the
thoughts that went through my head. If I
keep this baby, I have no money, no job.
Even if I get a job, I wouldn't be able to
afford somewhere to live and support my
baby. I also couldn't give my baby up for
adoption. Like many of you have said, I
know I would bond instantly. I made the
decision of having an abortion. I was put
to sleep for the operation. Do I regret
it? I believe I made a good choice. If I
would've had the baby, my child's life
would not have been a good one and if I
gave it up for adoption, I couldn't live
with the fact that my child was somewhere
out there. I truly don't believe i'm a
bad person for choosing abortion. I don't
believe in people who get them as a method
of birth control. I really had no choice.
No one would've supported me. I'm not
telling you what to do. That's a choice
you have to make on your own or with your
boyfriend. I just understand what you're
going through. Not knowing what to do is
really hard on a person. I wish you all
the best in whatever decision you make.
Kit
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kitten
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2004
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
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Posted: 03-10-04 22:35pm
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Anyone who has been in this situation
knows exactly what i'm talking about. A
child thinking about having a child is
clearly going to be confused. It may have
been selfish, according to you, but that's
the decision I made when I was young.
Kit
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kitten
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2004
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
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Posted: 03-11-04 02:33am
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I don't look at it as killing my child. I
did what was best for my child at the
time. Sometimes, you don't have a choice.
There are so many kids that don't get
adopted and move around from foster to
foster home or live in orphanages.
Some people look at it as a killing a
child, but think it's ok to abort if
there's something wrong with it. I don't
believe that when you first get pregnant
that the baby has a life. I know i'll get
bashed on that one, but that's how I feel.
That was the hardest thing i've ever had
to do in my life and i'm not going to
"hate" myself over it forever. I felt
terrible at first, but I know my unborn
child knows what I did was for the best.
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 3099
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Posted: 03-11-04 02:55am
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You say you dont agree with people who use
it as a method of birth control & yet
you aborted because stupidly you thought
the pill was still effective when you came
off it.This sounds like you're one of
those people who aborted as a form of
birth control because you didnt read the
instructions that came with the pill
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