Ending a Relationship Forum - Destructive Marriage

busybudd wrote:

I have been married for 5 years this august and for the past year my husband has been telling me he is leaving things finally reached a breaking point when I became pregnant last year with our third child and he demanded that I have an abortion when I reached my fourth month in my pregnancy he hit me I had filed a police report but I did not take any actions I bore the days of more physical threats and demands to abort my pregnancy until he said he was taking the children I asked him to leave he then threaten to take all of our children and get a divorce I then ran out and took custody of our children and got an order of protection. He left the house and he did not come by for a week or so but he started to come back and things got much better I dropped all court filings and he was there when our child was born he moved back in but let me know it was only temporary that he is moving out he has been telling me he is leaving for now 2 years and now that things are great for the both of us (he has told other people outside of our family how happy he is now ) he feels the need to remind me he is leaving even during intercourse its getting to a point now I feel that it would be best if I just ran away or loose my mind I dont want to ask him to leave again because we have 3 children all under the age of 5 I am a stay at home mom I did not finish my degree he has two jobs all of our insurances are under his name and so is everything else. I know i can leave but I have been raised in a single parent household and have lived in very bad conditions and would never wish the same for our children and so has my husband but he feels that our children are not worth behaving properly and putting them first we live with my family and he feels he should not move with us as a family since I am not working he bought himself a motorcycle and started buying himself furniture for his own home and our children are cramped in 1 room his goals he tells me is doing for himself since I went to the courts to remove him from the home he has to remove me from his life since I have never contributed in his life positively I have nothing to offer him and I am holding him back from success since he has told me its over his life has been great he has two cars motorcycles he spends his money as he sees fit he told me he could not wait for me to start working so I could stop begging him for money so I dont ask for anything not diaper food if he sees there is something missing he buys it but I try really hard to stay in my place waiting for him to leave or waiting for him to act better I know if the situation was occurring to any of my friends I would say leave but for some reason I cant follow my own advice. How do I cope with his abuse without adding to the mess that I started by going to court? Even though I still believe I did the right thing.

I'm sorry for your pain! But if a man is not willing to take care of his family and buys things for himself instead. Well, he just isn't a man in my eyes. Family comes first. I know you are worried about leaving him, but it will be ok,, you will make it some way just fine. There are support places for battered women to go and state help too. Please don't stay with a man like this. You are not doing your children any good by staying with someone that does not support them.. A man that truley loves his family would not think of hurting them, or making them go without.