Pregnancy Community Chat Forum - Belly Laughs ! ( same As Preg . )

Sorry If I'm not allowed to post in two places, but I thought maybe you ladies would enjoy this as well.

I get a weekly pregnancy e-mail called
"my baby this week"
it just give's you information on that particular week and such... It's the highlight of every friday
funny... If you told me a year ago that the highlight's of my future friday's would be a pregnancy e-mail, i'd probably spit my beer in your face in complete disbelief!
Hehe anywhooo...
They have a section in each newsletter called "belly laughs" and I thought I would share some of them with you guys...They're more cute than funny! Hopefully I crack a few smiles here.

Five things you never thought you'd say
• "let me just finish this can of frosting."
• "would you mind tying my shoes?"
• "does my stomach look too small to you?"
• "can you please massage my perineum again?"
• "help, I can't get out of bed."

things not to say during your ultrasound
• "will it still be black and white after it's born?"
• "is a four-chambered heart a good thing?"
• "can we see its spleen again?"
• "oh right, that's the umbilical cord! I thought he was just really well endowed."
• "is that really a baby?"

the best positions for sex during pregnancy
• the how-we-got-here-in-the-first-place
• the lap full of love
• the crush
• the get-off-before-i-nod-off
• the 10-foot pole

things you'll never want to see again when this is all over
• saltines
• your maternity "lingerie"
• the inside of your own belly button
• your ob's scale
• the word "kegel"

signs that your nesting instinct's out of control
• you find yourself reorganizing store shelves.
• you can't let your husband into the house without a good lint brushing.
• your yard is so clean, you've moved on to the neighbors'.
• you're actually creating a nest out of old rags, fabric remnants, and t-shirts

if only you'd known you were going to trade...
• monthly pms for nine months of weeping
• lacy thongs for cotton tents
• sex for gas
• zinfandel for ovaltine
• birth control for laxatives
• going to the gym for getting up to pee
• your waist for a hot-air balloon
• kickboxing for kick counts
• your innie for an outie — a way-outie
• sleeping for groaning
• freedom for the most intense love you've ever known

fun baby shower games!
• guess how many times she'll pee in the next ten minutes!
• when her belly button pops out, will the baby be done?
• how many of us can fit in one pair of her panties?
• who can finish a half gallon of ice cream first?
• guess where she left her keys!

Useful comebacks to rude pregnancy comments
• "at least I made somebody's heart and brain today. What did you do?"
• "you're huge too — and you don't have the excuse of another person living inside you."
• "go ahead, but i'm not touching yours."

ok so I know that's quite a few... Sorry got a bit carried away. That's not even half of them! I'm 36 weeks! That's a lot of freakin' e-mails!