Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6230 Location: London, England
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Thanked:7
What Should I Do ? Posted: 06-03-07 07:43am
i am really confused at the moment. i am
seperated from my husband and we have been
parted for nearly 9 months. we have 2
young children together aged 2 and 1 which
he sees twice a week.
we both started seeing new partners within
a few weeks of splitting up but things are
not going well with either of our new
partners and he has just decided to end it
as she cheated on him.
we still very much have an attraction
together and flirt every time we are
together and we have spoken about getting
back together in the last few days. i
would love for this to happen as i do not
feel happy in my new relatioship however
there are a few probelms...
1) i stupidly moved my new partner in with
me and he has got attached to the kids. i
feel like a bad person if i split up with
him as he will miss the kids and they will
miss him. i also do not know how to get
him to move out...
2) my husband does not know when he wants
to get back with me. he said he wants to
make it work properly this time and does
not want to be responsible for me breaking
up with my partner.
3) i am worried that we will get back
together and realise it is a mistake and
then i will be stuck myself again. my new
partner helps me out alot with the kids as
i have bad sciatica and i don't know if i
can cope alone.
any advice would be appreciated! thanks
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
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Re: What Should I Do? Posted: 06-03-07 08:06am
beckster06
wrote:
i am really confused at the
moment. i am seperated from my husband and
we have been parted for nearly 9 months.
we have 2 young children together aged 2
and 1 which he sees twice a week.
we both started seeing new partners within
a few weeks of splitting up but things are
not going well with either of our new
partners and he has just decided to end it
as she cheated on him.
we still very much have an attraction
together and flirt every time we are
together and we have spoken about getting
back together in the last few days. i
would love for this to happen as i do not
feel happy in my new relatioship however
there are a few probelms...
1) i stupidly moved my new partner in with
me and he has got attached to the kids. i
feel like a bad person if i split up with
him as he will miss the kids and they will
miss him. i also do not know how to get
him to move out...
2) my husband does not know when he wants
to get back with me. he said he wants to
make it work properly this time and does
not want to be responsible for me breaking
up with my partner.
3) i am worried that we will get back
together and realise it is a mistake and
then i will be stuck myself again. my new
partner helps me out alot with the kids as
i have bad sciatica and i don't know if i
can cope alone.
any advice would be appreciated!
thanks
Questioning the fact that you want to get
back with you husband tells me that you
don’t care for the other guy to much.
That is not a good relationship, and
probably would end sometime if you go back
with your husband or not. It sounds like
you still love you husband and I think for
you and for the kids it would be a good
idea to at least give it another try. If
it doesn’t work out you will find
another man. But it doesn’t sound like
you care enough for the one you are with.
Sounds like he is there for other reason
than love. You can't stay with someone
because he helps you with the kids. There
has to be more. Why did you and your
hubby split up in the first place?
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Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6230 Location: London, England
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Posted: 06-03-07 08:22am
you are completely right. i do not love my
new boyfriend. it is more of a
realtionship of convience. we split
because alot of stuff happened to us and
we couldn't cope. we lost a baby at 21
weeks and we kept arguing all the time. i
resented him for things that i know i
would not resent him for now as they are
not applicable anymore.
he was crying on my shoulder yesterday
though about splitting up with this
girlfriend. i don't know what to do... i
know i should leave it for a bit as i
don't want to be his rebound.
we are going to a music festival together
just the two of us on thursday for 4 days
i just don't know what to do
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2132 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 06-03-07 11:05am
beckster06
wrote:
you are completely right. i
do not love my new boyfriend. it is more
of a realtionship of convience. we split
because alot of stuff happened to us and
we couldn't cope. we lost a baby at 21
weeks and we kept arguing all the time. i
resented him for things that i know i
would not resent him for now as they are
not applicable anymore.
he was crying on my shoulder yesterday
though about splitting up with this
girlfriend. i don't know what to do... i
know i should leave it for a bit as i
don't want to be his rebound.
we are going to a music festival together
just the two of us on thursday for 4 days
i just don't know what to do
I think you need to split up with the
other guy, Like I said you don't really
love him and probably will some day
anyway. As for your hubby. Don't do
anything. Just play it by ear. If he talks
about comming home, tell him you would
like to give it a try but you don't want
to be a rebond thing.. Just be honest.
Give him sapce and see where it goes..
Enjoy your time together, and don't talk
about it to much unless he brings its up..
Just have fun.. If he should decide he
doesn't want to come home. (I don't think
he will, I think he still loves you!) then
you did all you could to make it happen.
And there are a lot of good men out there.
JUST HAVE FUN!!
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:1
Posted: 06-04-07 16:41pm
Right on meblonde, it sounds like both of
you are confused about what you want/need
at this point. Get rid of the bf and gf
and have some time to yourselves. I think
the festival thing is a bad idea but let
us know what happens!
JUST HAVE FUN!!