Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 111 Location: Australia
Need Help - Jealous Boyfriend Posted: 06-03-07 20:05pm
Ok here is the story.
I think my boyfriend's mate is hot, and we
were at his house last night, and my bf is
one of those guys that is really insecure.
anyway thismorning my bf said to me so
what are you doing today, go to matts
(bf's mate) and have afew drinks with him
and i will meet you there after work (in a
sarcastic way). My bf being insecure and
knowing that me and matt had a little
thing going on when i wasnt even going out
with my bf ( he fingered me but thats as
far as we got (sorry 4 the graphics)) was
only joking around to see what i would do
and i was like no way as if i would go
there without you, and then he goes, do
you want to has a threesome with him? he
didnt want an answer, he wanted a
reaction, trust me i no my bf lol, and i
was like no. Then he straite out asked me
3 times do i think he is hot, because matt
has the day off because of public holiday
and so do i but my bf doesnt, he was
saying it to see if i would like go around
there (matts) without him knowing and all
this crap, following me?
so after he said do you think he (matt) is
hot (which i do) i said no n he asked
again and i said no n he was like yeahi no
u do i seen the way you where lookin at
him, and then he goes so you do? and i was
like yeah so... and so he cracked the
sh*ts and walked off all angry and i was
like omg are yuo serious n he was like
dont talk to me.
So about 5 minutes later he came out of
the bathroom completely ignoring me and i
was like, if you cant handle the answer
then why ask the question, anyway its
better than me lying to your face, and
what about all those times you have had a
convo with matt about the skimpy down at
the pub, you wrekon she is orite and she
walks around in a bra and undies and i
dont pipe up about that do i? i seriousl
got really upset about him gettin so
pissed off at me for sayin matts hot
(trust me if u seen him damn, lol) and as
i was syin allt hat sh*t he was like tell
some one who cares, and i kinda threw
gasoline in the fire with my comments
sayin well you obviously do or you wouldnt
be havin a sad, if you couldnt handle what
was going to come out of my mouth then why
get in my face and ask me a question about
sh*t that upsets you.
then he went down staries while he waited
for his boss to come get him, so i came
downstaires and said that i was wrong and
that im sorry and i didnt want him to go
to work angry and allt his crap, and i
want to know if you all think i was in the
worng about the whole matt thing or was
he, , my bf is not a bad guy, and i dont
mean to make him out to be a totaly
insecure jelouse pervert, and i want to
see both sides of the story but i told him
that if this was a convo about anyone else
or if you wherein my situation the
conversation would have gone nothing like
this. seriously shoudl i have kept my
mouth shut, this is for furture
refferences aswell, what do i say to him
when he gets home if he is still pissed
off? like do i mention it and make him
angry again or ignore my feeelings and his
or what? sorryits long
anyway hope your day's go better than mine
is
love ness -xox-
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 06-04-07 07:27am
Yeah............you should have kept your
mouth shut......................guys or
gals never want to hear that
"truth"....................he'll spend the
rest of the relationship questioning
everything you say and do
now..................best mates/friends
are off limits period!................even
if your current beau says
enough..............the other dude may get
with you...................but it'll be
very very short
lived......................
..............you were
wrong....................very
wrong....................time for some
fancy foot work to save this one, Good
Luck!
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5539 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 88
Thanked:31
Posted: 06-05-07 11:24am
He sounds like he was being really
insecure and overly sensitive. Being that
you did previously have a relationship
with this Matt guy, I can see why he would
be worried about it. Maybe try talking
about it when you are both in a good mood
and he is not overly sensitive. Emphasize
that you choose him, not matt. The "is my
friend hot " question is just as dangerous
as the "does this dress make me look fat"
question.... there is really no right
answer. You need to talk about the
underlying insecurity.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 06-06-07 10:12am
well imo,he asked a question,he got an
answer.obviously he was pushing until you
said yes anyhow.I agree,don't aska
question you can't handle the truth to.SO
what if you think he's hot.Yes,it does
make things uncomfortable for him to be in
the same room with both of you since you
guys did stuff together,so maybe it's not
a good idea for all of you guys to chill
together anymore.I see guys all the time
that I htink are hot,but it doesn't make
me want or love my man any less!
|
*Vanessa*
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 111 Location: Australia
Posted: 06-06-07 22:05pm
~*~Melissa~*~
wrote:
well imo,he asked a
question,he got an answer.obviously he was
pushing until you said yes anyhow.I
agree,don't aska question you can't
handle the truth to.SO what if you think
he's hot.Yes,it does make things
uncomfortable for him to be in the same
room with both of you since you guys did
stuff together,so maybe it's not a good
idea for all of you guys to chill together
anymore.I see guys all the time that I
htink are hot,but it doesn't make me want
or love my man any
less!
Thank you Melissa.
yeah we probebly shouldnt hang out anymore
but its hard because we live in a small
suberb out of town and the only people
that me and sam both know is my aunty his
mate and matt and us 3 normally go to the
pub but i totaly agree and am happy you
agree with me
Ness
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 06-07-07 06:26am
*Vanessa*
wrote:
~*~Melissa~*~
wrote:
well imo,he asked a
question,he got an answer.obviously he was
pushing until you said yes anyhow.I
agree,don't aska question you can't
handle the truth to.SO what if you think
he's hot.Yes,it does make things
uncomfortable for him to be in the same
room with both of you since you guys did
stuff together,so maybe it's not a good
idea for all of you guys to chill together
anymore.I see guys all the time that I
htink are hot,but it doesn't make me want
or love my man any
less!
Thank you Melissa.
yeah we probebly shouldnt hang out anymore
but its hard because we live in a small
suberb out of town and the only people
that me and sam both know is my aunty his
mate and matt and us 3 normally go to the
pub but i totaly agree and am happy you
agree with me
Ness
I'm sure you could go out
and meet new people right?You seem like
you may be a social person and finding new
friends wouldn't be too hard
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 06-07-07 10:11am
Stop lying to us and your BF and admit you
want matt
|
Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006 Posts: 2248
Posted: 06-07-07 10:39am
Makoto
wrote:
Stop lying to us and your BF
and admit you want matt
|
Jarian28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jun 2007 Posts: 7 Location: NC
Posted: 06-07-07 11:00am
Look its like this, BOTH Men And Women are
the jealous types these days, and I think
that he was TOTALLY Right to be jealous
(especially since he could TELL that you
think His friend is HOT) Im pretty Sure
that since he knows that he's probably
thinkin that you'll Cheat* on him Anytime,
like when he's not around or when his
back's turned. Girls these days just do
that kinda S**t. Its not about being
"Insecure" Its about keeping yourself from
getting hurt.
But on Your Side of things, If You
Sincerely care for him then Let him know.
You gotta find a way to proove it or Show
it to him. =)
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 06-07-07 12:04pm
Jarian28
wrote:
he's probably thinkin that
you'll Cheat* on him Anytime, like when
he's not around or when his back's turned.
Girls these days just do that kinda S**t.
Its not about being "Insecure" Its about
keeping yourself from getting hurt.
umm,girls these
days?Excuse me but i do ot.I'm in no way a
cheater and would *never* go behind my
partners back and do something like
that.I'd like to add that men do the same
thing!(but not all men and women are like
that)
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*Vanessa*
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 111 Location: Australia
Posted: 06-07-07 23:24pm
Jarian28
wrote:
Look its like this, BOTH Men
And Women are the jealous types these
days, and I think that he was TOTALLY
Right to be jealous (especially since he
could TELL that you think His friend is
HOT) Im pretty Sure that since he knows
that he's probably thinkin that you'll
Cheat* on him Anytime, like when he's not
around or when his back's turned. Girls
these days just do that kinda S**t. Its
not about being "Insecure" Its about
keeping yourself from getting hurt.
But on Your Side of things, If You
Sincerely care for him then Let him know.
You gotta find a way to proove it or Show
it to him. =)
I LOVE my bf, we are best friends and
reallly comfortable around each other.
Ive read that at the start of the
relationship its all kisses and hugs and
sex, then it gets to the stage where
things die down, your relationship takes
the slow lane... do u know what i mean?
Thats us, its been us for a while, we are
through it now but this is really
interesting and useful to see other
peoples point of view and see what others
have to say.
i am glad melissa agrees with me about "if
he didnt want to know then he shouldnt
have asked" but yeah. The argument is at
that stage when he just makes stupid
comments about it, 5 minutes later i
forget but ive told him i love him and im
with him, no one else and we have been
through that talk. When i think to
myself, i am scared that i would cheat on
him but if it ever came to the point when
the opotunity was there i wouldnt go for
it. I think im at that point when we have
been around each other constantly that
things like that pop into my head, but i
would never persue it.
i am only 18 but i am in a serious
relationship and its one of those one that
it could last for ever and i want to get
rid of there thoughts as fast as i can.
