Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 11 Location: AR, United States
Boyfriend Thinks I'm Obbessed With Sex ! Posted: 06-06-07 01:35am
My boyfriend and I have been together for
3 1/2 years and the sex was great at
first. We were both into each other and
couldn't get enough of one another. I
guess with time things change, but now
it's getting to the point of actually
hurting my feelings. I want to have sex
about 3 times a week, not the usual 2
times that we do, and I get tired of what
I call the "sex scheduel". He works first
shift, I work second shift, so our
scheduels are all off. When I'm in the
mood, he's not. Sometimes I'm not in the
mood (rarely) and he'll say something
hurtful to me like "are you sleeping with
someone?" just to get a rise out of me as
he puts it. Then there are the times that
I try to flirt and be sexy with him for
like 3 days in a row, with NOTHING! When
I finally start to get a little hurt over
it he gets angry and tells me that I'm
obbessed with sex and I'm not normal. He
makes me feel like a total freak! He just
doesn't seem to understand that I'm
attracted to him, that's why I want the
physical contact. Could he be right, am I
not normal? I thought for being in my
early 20's this sort of sex drive was
normal. What can I do to make things
better? Any tips would be greatly
accepted.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 06-06-07 12:02pm
Your sex drive sounds perfectly normal. I
would look at the marriage and
relationship forums for more advice on
this topic.
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 06-06-07 12:26pm
Sounds like you have a normal sex drive to
me.
The relationship forum was a good
suggestion since this seems like an issue
with your relationship more than an issue
with your sex drive. It sounds like you
and your partner do not have the same
drive. Nothing is wrong with two people
in a relationship having different sex
drives if the people can work around it
and compromise. If your partner is
calling you abnormal and suggesting that
you're cheating just to get a rise out of
you, that does not sound like a sign of a
healthy relationship.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-07-07 07:12am
i know exactly what you mean - when you
love someone sex is not just sex, it is a
bonding experience. make sure your
boyfriend understands that this is the way
you view it. the fact he has made these
comments about you sleeping with other
people suggests to me that he might have
insecurity issues. perhaps he is aware
that you want sex more than him and feels
bad cos he thinks he cant please you. he
feels insecure because he thinks you just
want him for sex whereas what you really
want is the intimacy. it's just a
suggestion, maybe you could put his mind
at rest.
your sex drive is totally normal. dont
feel bad. just talk it through with him
and explain that you find it hurtful when
he says those things about you. talking to
each other is the best way through any
problem, i think. tell him how things are
from your point of view but without
putting pressure on him. maybe you could
take the focus off sex for a while and on
to other things. when things in your
relationship are going well, the sex just
tends to fall into place.
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HAILEYTREYJORDAN
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 8 Location: ATLANTA, GA
Is He Cheating Posted: 06-10-07 19:49pm
Has the thought ever crossed your mind
that he may be cheating on you? I wonder
if he just wants to make you fel like you
are obsessed with sex so you will fell bad
if you thought about having sex with
someone else. Men are tricky with words.
Usually they tell on themselves in some
strange way. I would think he was
cheating.
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bjmcfarland
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 19 Location: ,
Obbessed With Sex Posted: 08-05-07 16:10pm
n_m_zia_girl,
I know exactly where you are. I was in the
same situation for eighteen and a half
years. It is very stressful and I was
accused of cheating, It was worked out
with the help of a counselor,so putting
your self on a sex schedule isn't a bad
idea. You know when you are going to have
it and then you can plain for the occasion
and
do something creative, hopefully that will
put the spark back into your relationship.
Until then just work on what you want and
don't give up.
and
do something creative, hopefully that will
put the spark back into your relationship.
Until then just work on what you want and
don't give up.