I got really upset with being overweight
last week. Not the usual fed up with my
body feelings, more ready to cry over it
and cut the fat parts away. -not literally
but thats how I felt.
I kept trying to diet since then, all last
week I tried to fast but didnt manage many
hours.
I fasted for 2 full days then today I
couldnt keep the self control anymore and
I just binged on a huge tuna salad
sandwich, cheesey pasty, 4 chocolate bars
and some Dr Pepper now I hate myself so
much, I feel sick because my stomach must
have shrunk doing 2 days of fasting.
I ruined all the hard work I did resisting
food the last 2 days, and exercising like
mad!!!! I exercised all day and 1 hour at
night for those 2 days too.
I hate this, I hate it all....Im disgusted
with myself, I dont know what to do. I
need to be skinny, I need to look the thin
one. I have to improve my body.......Im
gonna go make myself sick now to get it
out if I can, yuck I dont want to but I
have to or it will mean I put thousands of
calories in my body and all my hard work
was pointless.
Hope someone here knows how I feel, I have
no one to talk to about my weight issues,
please help or tell me your experiences? I
dont want to purge.....
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hawkeye69
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 29 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 06-07-07 08:07am
You did the right thing by coming on the
forum, especially if you can't talk to
someone about your feelings.
I think what you need to do is find a
program that works by doing diet and
exercise in MODERATION! Starving yourself
for two days isn't the answer, because
then you binge because your body is
hungry. Then you feel like a failure.
Don't set yourself up like that. Eat lots
of fruits and veggies. They are filling,
and don't have NEAR the calories that
other foods do. Start counting calories.
It is much more rewarding and you'll see
your weight come down a pound or two a
week. Anything more than that could mean
your losing muscle mass. Muscle helps burn
fat, so you don't want to lose the muscle.
If you want to talk just pm me anytime!
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lost-girl-alone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 06-07-07 08:23am
thanks hawkeyes for your advice. I cant do
it that way, I tried and once I eat I eat
too much. So I have to do it a really
strict way, but I dont have the self
control it looks like. How do I get that?
Loads of other girls have it.
I just purged about 30 times in the
bathroom...lost count after 12, but i got
rid of most of it...if not all of it
because there was only stomach bile?
coming out when I stopped. Good I dont
feel sick or full now, still disgusted
doing that and eating. I will try to
exercise tonight at the gym.
I brushed my teeth a lot to get rid of any
acid on them after doing this, but my
throat is burning, should I just drink
water to help that? This is a once
off....hopefully because I want to fast
and exercise to lose weight, not purge, so
there wont be any long term damage from
this purge I just did.
I have to lose weight, I have to be
skinny....people are counting on me to
look good its not just me wanting to be
thin, they want me to be thin too. Im
ashamed I only lasted on a fast for 2
days...
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cln1812
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jul 2006 Posts: 524 Location: La Porte, TX
Posted: 06-07-07 11:56am
Believe me, you don't want to lose weight
via eating disordered behaviors. I would
never wish an eating disorder on anyone.
Anorexia nearly killed me. I have
pictures taken, at the time I was 21 years
old, and I looked older than I do now, at
29, I looked like I was 40 years old in
those pics. Yes, I was skinny, but I
thought not skinny enough and that I still
needed to lose weight.
Do it sensibly--weight watchers, south
beach diet and start exercising and weight
training. Purging will do a number on
your teeth...but so will restricting you
know. My teeth are horrible after
anorexia, it strips the calcium from your
teeth and causes them to break easily. In
addition, the malnutrition caused me to
develop a habit of clenching and grinding
my teeth which I can't stop after
recovery. I have broken several teeth and
needed many crowns all as a result of my
eating disorder.
Other aspects of it aren't fun
either...including endless insomnia, I
just couldn't sleep well at all, there
were times I went 3 day stretches without
sleep, your hair starts falling out, you
can develop osteoporosis, it can cause you
issues with fertility in the future if you
want children (and some day you may marry
and actually want kids, even if you don't
now, I didn't start having desires to have
children until I was 28 years old and
thank God I didn't mess up my body so much
that I couldn't get pregnant). You're
weak and dizzy, you can't concentrate on
much at all other than the ED...I love
reading and writing and I couldn't do this
for 5 years because of the grip the ED had
on me. You don't have a life at all.
Please be careful and please be healthy.
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breeanna
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2005 Posts: 79
Posted: 06-11-07 01:44am
honey, i remember when i was at where you
were at. all i wanted to do was go a day
without food. that was like my holy grail.
wow. one day. no food. it was my focus and
goal for so long, until every night at
about eight oclock my body was desperate
for food and did everything it could to
eat.... and eat.. and eat. a few months
later i tried to kill myself because this
goal was so unattainable. now, two years
later, im trying to recover from binge
purge anorexia, not going to school, was
in hospital for a bit over a month, and
realising that the last two and a half
years of my life, my adolescence, have
been spent struggling with food and not
eating and bingeing and purging, instead
of exploring myself and learning who i
want to be; establishing my identity. at
the time i thought i would never let it go
far, all i wanted was a day without food.
but you need to ask yourself, where do you
go after that? im sure if i had of
achieved it, my next goal would have been
two days without food. three. four. five.
a week. until im malnurished and on a drip
in hospital.
please get help soon. please, dont get to
my stage and look back at the years which
are meant to be your best, and remember
only the worst.
x
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HandyAndy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2006 Posts: 21
Posted: 07-24-07 19:35pm
Keep a good attitude!! Im 15 and 275
pounds...i joined my schools football team
becuse i know practice was going to help
me get where i want weight wise...it takes
time, go to your doctor and get help, you
can get a workout plan and a good clean
diet, i know im trying to reach my goal,
just keep a good attitude, my weight
doesnt keep my from meeting new ppl and
being an overall cool person, it doesnt
stop me from talking to girls i find
attractive or anything, just be yourself
and do whats right,
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NuvaGrl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 6
I Don't Want 2 Be Me. Posted: 08-12-07 00:06am
...Have you ever went through an entire
day without hating yourself? I haven't.
Every other girl I see...in school, on the
street, at the mall...I am constantly
comparing myself to that girl. "She's
thinner, her stomach is flatter...her
thighs are skinny..." The list goes on.
I am beginning to feel depressed. This
time the feeling is not going away. I
keep wondering why God created me like
this. When I eat, I wish I didn't' When I
have hunger pains I feel good about
myself. Everytime I look in the mirror, I
see what I truly am. I hate it. Every
single bit of it.
I want to be a size 2...I want to be
pretty. I just want to be someone other
than myself.
It wouldn't hurt to have someone to talk
to...
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bibisim
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 76
Re: I Don't Want 2 Be Me. Posted: 08-12-07 04:40am
NuvaGrl
wrote:
...Have you ever went
through an entire day without hating
yourself? I haven't. Every other girl I
see...in school, on the street, at the
mall...I am constantly comparing myself to
that girl. "She's thinner, her stomach is
flatter...her thighs are skinny..." The
list goes on.
I am beginning to feel depressed. This
time the feeling is not going away. I
keep wondering why God created me like
this. When I eat, I wish I didn't' When I
have hunger pains I feel good about
myself. Everytime I look in the mirror, I
see what I truly am. I hate it. Every
single bit of it.
I want to be a size 2...I want to be
pretty. I just want to be someone other
than myself.
It wouldn't hurt to have someone to talk
to...
HI,
I DO UNDERSTAND WHAT U MEAN. BUT DONT
FORGET U ARE AN INDIVIDUAL.
