Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Grand Ledge
I'm 17 And Want a Baby. Should I Have One? Posted: 06-10-07 21:48pm
hi everybody, my name is lisa. I am going
to be 17 yrs old in a couple weeks and I
really want to get pregnant. So many
people in my family have little children
and i am very close to them. I know how
much it costs to have a baby (alot) and i
babysit kids so much. I absolutely love
them. I have a boyfriend and he know that
i want a baby but we were not ready for
sex but i really, really want a child of
my own. i keep seeing people i know having
babies and i think to myself "that could
be me!!!" I know i should finish high
school and get through college before i
think about having kids but i cant help
it. I have wanted a child for the past 2
years now and i want the responsibility of
raising a child. Does anyone have some
advice on what i should do?
thnx much
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BabyFutak
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 235 Location: ,
Posted: 06-10-07 23:06pm
Do you want a honest opinion?
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navywife
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2004 Posts: 3 Location: Milwaukee
Posted: 06-10-07 23:30pm
Hi! I'm Detch. I'm 24 years old. I'm
pregnant right now & it's our first
baby. My due date will be on December 20.
My problem is, I have a goiter 2 years
ago. Right now my Dr. told me to do the
TSH again & I ask him what if my
goiter came back & if it will be ok
for the baby. He told me they will know on
my result so that they can correct it. I'm
scared right now coz seems my husband was
also scared that I have a goier. He was
scared if it will affect to the baby. But
I remember before my Dr. told me 2 years
ago it's ok if I have a goiter as long as
I will give birth while I'm still young.
What do you think guys? Do you think it
will be ok for me & my baby?
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*Lisagirl*
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Grand Ledge
Posted: 06-11-07 06:57am
yes i would like an honest opinion please.
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Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3775 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 27
Thanked:11
Posted: 06-11-07 07:54am
The best advice i can give you is don't do
it. I'm 15 and 38 weeks pregnant, i
wouldn't change it for the world now
because i've fallen in love with my little
girl but if i could be in different
circumstances i would be so much happier.
Looking after children and having your own
child are two completly different things,
my sister has an almost three year old boy
and an almost two year old girl and i have
a vert close relationship with them and
when i got pregnant and made my descision
to keep our baby i thought it would be so
much easier than it is because i saw my
sister go through pregnancy, from an
outside eye it does look so much easier
than it is. You say that you and your
boyfriend arn't ready to have sex, so how
do you propose to get pregnant? If you're
not mature enough to think you're ready
for a sexual relationship then you anre
most certainly not ready to raise a child.
I truely am sorry if any of that sounded
harsh but it really bugs me when people
around my age actually want to have a baby
because they have no idea what it takes,
if i had my way i wouldn't be pregnant now
but i do still love my daugter. Just wait
untill you're older, have a career and a
home and then start to raise a family
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mc4ever02
Supporter
Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3636 Location: Orlando, FL Usa
Thanks: 5
Thanked:2
Posted: 06-11-07 07:56am
Honestly, Its completely normal what you
are feeling. Many of us have felt this
way. I personally have wanted a child,
seriously, since I was about 14.
Did I want a child very badly? yes.
Did I realize that it would be in mine and
my child's best interest to wait until i
was financial and emotionally stable
enough to raise a child? Yes.
Did I realize that it was very selfish of
me to want to bring a child into this
world to an unstable relationship on
purpose? Yes.
If you really want a child, then you need
to s tart thinking like a mother. As a
mother you want nothing but the best for
your children and would do anything to
give it to them. An unwed teenager, that
is still in highschool, not financially
stable or even living on your own...not
the best for your child. Things happen, I
understand that. But to plan a child at
this time in your life is completely
selfish, and nothing else.
I want to say, agian, that what you are
feeling is completely normal. But, you
need to think responsibly for your life
and the life of your future children and
wait until you are stable enough to
provide a healthy environment for your
child.
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*Lisagirl*
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Grand Ledge
Posted: 06-11-07 08:28am
thanks for the replys. it made me think
and i still want a baby really bad but it
would be in the best interest of my future
child if i finished high school and
started a career. it makes me feel better
to know that it a normal thing to be
feeling so thnx you guys.
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BabyFutak
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 235 Location: ,
Posted: 06-11-07 13:24pm
Well said. I have wanted to be a mommy
since about 14 as well. But waiting until
you are settled is the best bet. you seem
to have a good head on your shoulders. =0)
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*Lisagirl*
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Grand Ledge
Posted: 06-11-07 14:15pm
yeah i guess so. well thanks everybody for
the replies. i guess i just needed someone
to talk to without talking to my parents
about it. I still want a child but i guess
i will wait because i dont want to be
selfish and do that.
Lisa
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Kaileeyx)
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2007 Posts: 1 Location: London
Re: Your Question On Wanting a Child Posted: 06-19-07 09:01am
Hi Lisa i can kind of relate to you as i'm
17 at the moment turning 18 in Sept and i
have twin boys who are 11 months. My ex
and i really wanted a child and we love
them them to bits though they are
difficult and spoilt lol. My current bf is
eager to have a child now and as i know
how difficult it is raising kids we arent
trying but we're baby dancing occasionally
and whether i fall preg or not we'll be
happy but im not rushing into it. He does
have his own flat and works so basically
like everyone says it is best to carry on
with your education and just wait till its
the right time. If you've got any queries
jus pm me.
Kaileeyx
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Lauren_Jay15
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Mar 2007 Posts: 483 Location: ,
Posted: 06-19-07 09:09am
Hiya hun, I turned 16 last Thursday, and
I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my little girl
due 18th September. I sit here, and I
think that I have just under 13 weeks
left, and what do I have for my daughter,
how can I afford it, how much does it
cost, is it good quality. Babies cost, so
so much. You'd need well over a grand. How
would you get it? Would your parents give
it you? Maybe, but that ain't fair on
them. Would you have everything you'd have
if you had the money? No. Seriously, it
aint fun. Pregnancy messes with your head,
hormones and your body. The one thing out
of it thats worth it all is the fact we'll
have a beautiful baby at the end of it.
But, why not wait? I really think you
should practically put yourself in mine,
or Danni's position, and think how hard it
really is. Just wait for a few years hun.
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AuDacia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 172 Location: west virginia, united states
Posted: 06-19-07 09:55am
you should spend a month with me. i'm
21-yr's old & currently [almost]
22-wk's pregnant. i have a 19-yr old
sister, who is sexually active with her
long-term boyfriend. before my pregnancy
happened [which was an accident, not at
all planned] my sister & her boyfriend
rarely used condoms. now, after spending
so much time with me, they're afraid to
have sex without protection.
i share a room with my sister. she has
watched my body change & my belly grow
day-to-day, week-to-week. and every night,
when we talk before turning out the
lights, she never fails to say, "i never
want to have children." i'm pretty sure
watching the whole process take place on
me & with me has scared her into
waiting until she's ready. she has seen me
throw some terrible mood swings, go from
happy to hysterical in less than a minute,
has seen my flat stomach turn into a beach
ball, & she's seen my dreams change.
neither one of us has ever had an easy
path to travel. that's another story, but
i've been living "on my own" since the age
of 19. i've worked two full-time jobs
& attended college full-time, but
after a year, it became too much for me to
handle. i know what it's like to work hard
& have nothing. right now, i'm jobless
& pregnant. money is tight &
paperwork for financial aid is
never-ending.
i have always wanted a baby, too. trust me
on that. all i could see myself doing in
life was being a full-time mother. i
pictured the perfect little life for
myself, raising a happy little family,
& living happily ever after. it rarely
ever works out that way for a person.
especially for a teen mother. [no offense
to anybody]. i'm not a teen, but i am
still a very young mother. i have three
younger siblings & i've helped to
raise them. so, like you, i know what it's
like to take care of babies. but when it
comes to those babies being your own, it's
completely different. they are 100% your
responsibility. if things get out of hand,
you can't hand them back to somebody
else.
i look at my 19-yr old sister now &
envy her. she's going off to college in a
couple of months. something i have always
dreamed of doing, but wasn't determined
enough because of my desire to settle down
& have children. i felt like schooling
& a good, solid education was a waste
of time, because in the end i'd work as a
full-time mother. well, i was completely
wrong & blinded by my maternal desire.
i wish i had an education, and i wish i
was working a job that provided me with
financial stability & medical
benefits. i wish i could enjoy this
pregnancy to the fullest & look
forward to the arrival of my daughter. i
love her, very much. she's my entire
world, of course. but i'm afraid for her.
i'm scared i won't be able to give her
everything she wants. or she'll grow up
without a father if something happens
between my boyfriend & myself. as much
as we love each other & as great as
our relationship has been for the past
year, plus a couple of months, i know
we're still young & anything can
happen.
do yourself a favor, please. look at the
negative sides of pregnancy, because there
are a lot of them. if you love your body,
embrace it. once you're pregnant,
everything changes! my breasts have
changed the most so far. i went from a
full-A to a full-C in less than 6-months.
they're no longer perky & they're
covered in purple stretch marks. they also
leak during the day & late at night. i
was talking to my younger brother the
other morning & he started to give me
a funny look. when i looked down, i was so
embarrassed. my shirt was soaking wet
around my breast area. it's just one of
the many lovely experiences of pregnancy,
i guess. i went to the beach for the first
time this summer yesterday, with my sister
& a couple of other family members
& friends. i felt confident driving to
the beach, but as soon as we were sitting
amongst the young, skinny girls in their
skimpy, cute bikinis - all confidence
disappeared. i felt embarrassed by my
expanding belly. it was so hard for me to
take my shirt off. everybody stared. you'd
think they'd never seen a pregnant woman
before.
just, don't rush it. it is selfish. it is
life changing & body changing. you're
17, you have your whole life ahead of you
still. you can have children later on in
life. it's not like this is your last
chance. set goals for yourself & reach
for them, achieve them, & be proud of
yourself. become someone you'd want your
own daughter to aspire to be. would you
really want for your own daughter to
become a teen mother herself? [think about
it]. would you want her to have a baby at
the age of 17, when she's still in high
school? your children are going to look up
to you as they grow older. make sure you
have stories to make them proud. when they
ask you "when you were my age, what was
your life like?" don't answer them back
with, "i was working some dead end job to
provide for you." make sure you can tell
them stories about how you worked your
butt off through college, while partying
hard of course.
you'll do what's best for you, regardless
of what people tell you. you are the one
responsible for the decisions you make in
life, not us. i wish you lots of luck,
sweetie.
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babeez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 31 Location: Rochester, NY
Posted: 06-21-07 11:33am
Although I understand the maternal
wants....Choosing to have a baby before
you can vote or legally drink in most
states is crazy... I wanted to have kids
when I was 23 (much older than you are)
and looking back now that I'm older with
my husband, a home we own and really good
income/benefits from working for many
years....I never would have been able to
give my baby that much even at 23. Try to
remember that you have many childbearing
years and having an education and a good
job is the best thing you can do for your
child. Plus, in my case, my husband and I
focussed on school and we have quite a
savings from our careers and his income
now is enough that not only can we support
the child but I will be able to be home
with him/her when the time comes...they
will have financial and emotional
security. I think you already know the
answer to your question...you just need to
be happy with the thought of your future
child being soooo happy and you being able
to enjoy them as they grow up without
struggling just to pay rent and put food
on the table.
