I am on the verge of getting engaged to
the man I am currently seeing, which makes
me happy.. yet very afraid. His mother is
DESPERATE for grandchildren. She pushes
the topic nearly EVERY time I see her. I
am beginning to feel so much pressure from
this... I even told my boyfriend that I
might not even want children... and he
said that his mother would be VERY upset
if I chose not to have any. He is an only
child, and would be her sole opportunity
for any grandchildren. So i have been
doing research, and have watched countless
births on video etc... but the more I am
doing this, the more frightened I am
getting. If i have a child, i want it to
be because I choose to for myself, not for
her. But I feel like at some point in my
life I will be obligated to do it. I am
just so scared of it all... it looks and
sounds like it is so painful-I do NOT do
well with pain, needles, or doctors in
general and I am EXTREMELY squeamish. So
tell me all you moms out there... is this
all really worth it? I am practically
crying while writing this I am so gosh
darn scared of it! I really dont know if I
could ever do it myself...
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2697
Thanks: 6
Thanked:0
online
Posted: 06-12-07 21:15pm
Well, a woman should never have children
for any other reason than because she wats
to. Having children under pressure can
only set the stage for resntments and all
kinds of issues later on. Are children
worth the physical pain of labor?
Absolutely. Not all labors are painful,
and I would discourage any woman, pregnant
or not, from viewing too many "birth
videos". Birth is a wonderful,
frightening, magnificent, terrifying
experince like no other in the world. But
your mind is kind in that it erases much
of the painful memories. I had one very
painful terrifying labor and one which was
completely painless. But I think way too
much emphasis is placed on labor and
nobody talks enough about adjusting to
life with children, which I can tell you
is much more frightening than birth.
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Idony
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 1611 Location: virginia beach, va usa
Thanks: 11
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-12-07 21:42pm
for me, it was absolutly worth it
but the simple fact is, if you dont want
kids then it is deffinently *not* worth
it, there is nothing in the world that
could make it worth it if you dont really
want it
dont feel pressured or obligted, its your
body dont let someone else run it
~alicia~
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taciturn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2006 Posts: 14
Posted: 06-12-07 22:02pm
Well. I think I do want children-one day,
when i think IM ready-not when my future
mother in law thinks i should. I am just
so frightened of all the pain and
suffering... it sounds and looks
absolutely DREADFUL to me... i honestly
dont know how i would react!
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annesian
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jun 2007 Posts: 27
Posted: 06-13-07 06:29am
What pain and suffering are you refering
to? If you mean labour, then I have some
good news for you. Mine was absolutely
painless. The delivery itself - absolutely
painless. I got an epidural after they
broke my water and I thought initially it
was because of that, but they announced
they cut off the eipudral an hour prior me
delivering and still - painless. Kids are
wonderful, but make sure you are ready. Do
everything you want to do in your life and
then consider having children. It will
make it worthwhile when you feel ready.
And no one should tell you if you should
or should not have kids - even your
partner. Choose for yourself and you'll be
glad you did. Anne
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*Ashley*
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 8 Location: Joliet
Precious Gifts From God Posted: 06-22-07 14:33pm
It was worth it for me. I am very
sensitive too. Whenever i even look at
blood i just get weak in the knees. Yes it
hurts but always remember that the lord
will never put too much on you that he
thinks u can't handle. It's painful for
some women and not for some. I am 125 ibs
and i had my first child at 20 years old.
He was 8 lbs. It hurted like hell but i
thought about my son while i was in pain.
knowing i was doing it for him. I wouldn't
trade him for anything in the world. and u
know what, once it was over with i thought
about it and said "that was'nt bad". but
it was. Now i am happily to say that i am
now 2 months pregnant again with second
child. It's worth it for you children
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Assena
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 328 Location: Georgia
Posted: 06-22-07 15:04pm
if it was really that terriable do you
think the plantet would be as populated as
it is?
