Strange Form of Depression? Posted: 06-13-07 05:39am
Hi, I'm a 17 year old male and I don't
have much of a social life.
I only see my friends about once a month
for about 3 hours and the rest of the time
I spend in front of my computer, watching
TV, doing some exercise etc...
The thing is that I'm not particularly
sad, I just feel empty and I don't know
what I want. I am so withdrawn from the
real word that I feel like I have taken a
liking to emotions such as sadness and
loneliness, It's like a form of
self-pity.
I have no suicidal thoughts whatsoever and
I consistently feel thankful for
everything I have. I have been looking for
a job and have been turned down at least
10 times and, to a social hermit like me,
10 turn-downs is a lot.
My problem is that I can appreciate
everything in my life on a conscientious
level, but there is very little substance
to my emotions.
My main problem at the moment is that I
lack motivation. I think that my sedentary
lifestyle is contributing to this cycle of
emptiness.
Occasionally, I'll get bouts of happiness
(often after going for a jog), but a lot
of the time, I'm empty.
Ironically, instead of being sad as
depression usually entails, I feel
satisfied; so much so that my happiness
depends on it; it's like my only source of
my happiness.
I probably didn't mention this, but I
finished school last year and I have never
really connected with anyone, in the 4
years that I have been at this school, I
haven't become emotionally attached to
anyone.
Sometimes, I feel like even my friends
aren't really my friends because of that
lack of emotional attachment. They are
REALLY kind to me... Way more than I
deserve according to the saying "What goes
round comes back around."
I think that every problem I have depends
on me getting a job... I feel like getting
a job at Macdonald's could end up marking
the happiest day of the past 4 years of my
life... I applied and I REALLY hope they
employ me... At first, I underestimated
how difficult it was to get a job and the
lower I go on the corporate ladder, the
less I think of myself...
I really wish that I could establish and
maintain an emotional connection with a
bunch of friends, but it's not
happening... Maybe it's because males are
unemotional. I wish I could have a
girlfriend but my social anxiety is
stopping me from doing so. I have never
had a girlfriend in my life so all I got
for emotional discourse is my mum, but
it's getting boring a predictable and it
only goes so deep... I don't want my
mother to think that I'm not happy with my
current state of being.
that sucks and i know how you feel, i had
friends but they werent like real ones
like a shoulder to cry on i guess you
could say, i have trust issues so i never
opened up to anyone and still learning the
process with my husband, personally i
thought i would besingle the rest of my
life and never have kids but im happily
married with 2 wonderful children.
Getting a job is hard to do, also you
gotta be more social and open in order for
them to want to hire you, so they know
your a good worker and are good being
around people. Most jobs u need to be
pretty social at. I think getting ajob is
the first step, u meet people at work ,
possibly hang out with them.
excersizing is good for depression it
helps get you out of that slump so i think
it would be wise to jog everyday maybe in
th emornings to start your day off good.
Im not sure but therapy might help to
teach you to be a more open person and
express your emotions better. Get rid of
the social anxiety you feel around people
as well, so its something to look into.
|
cinderellaaa
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2007 Posts: 40 Location: LA
Posted: 06-17-07 08:34am
Look i exactly understand what u feels coz
i,ve passed that period after quiting my
job, the majority of my friends are busy
at work or marriage life .. etc
Emptiness makes u feel that you are
unmotivated to do anything, and days
become the same, everymorning you wake up
you feel so hollow coz there,s no specific
goal n your life.. i felt that after i
left my job
i became kinda introverted, staying the
whole day in my room infront of my PC and
that made me lose my connection with ppl..
i felt that i became connected online but
disconnected in real life and its
horrible..
|
The Godly One
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 76
Posted: 06-17-07 18:52pm
It sounds like you have to take positive
action and get the social side of your
life in order.
AD medication is unlikely to help this
problem in the short term, never mind the
long term.
There is many a self-help book there in
this day and age, so I would encourage you
to use what power you have to help
yourself.
