Inlaws Giving Stress Or Taking It Too Seriously ? Posted: 06-13-07 07:22am
Hi!
My situation is a bit complex and might
seem hard to understand but the thing is
that I had an arranged marriage and
currently we are living in a combined
family system (with inlaws). I love my
husband and vice versa, but lately I have
been completely stressed out since I got a
yeast infection. I am susceptible to them
and spent a year and a half with it, so
the thought of the whole cycle starting
all over again is depressing me. On top of
that, my mother and father in law are
giving me a hard time over the supervision
of our servant. U see, if even the
smallest task is left undone or the
tiniest detail overlooked by him, they
point it out to me and berate me in a
critical manner. I have a very short
temper and especially nowadays my fuse is
really short. It is hard for me to keep
from giving them a piece of my mind but I
manage it somehow for my husband's sake.I
dont want to confront them over this as
they tend to take offense quite easily but
I dont want this sort of behaviour to
continue either. My elf confidence in my
housekeeping is nil now because of this.
My husband understands but implores me to
bear this a little while longer saying we
will get posted out of here soon. But I
feel that running away from confrontation
is not the solution and they need to stop
this behaviour. What should I do?
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 06-13-07 09:15am
Honestly, I don't know what religion you
are but I would say something to them!
They have no right to treat you like that
and as much as they get offended by things
so easily, your offeneded by the way they
are treating you and it's not right! say
something but not in a mean way and f they
turn nasty just tell them strait out they
are upsetting you and from now on if thy
speak down to you, you will just walk
away!(or something like that)
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Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006 Posts: 2248
Posted: 06-13-07 09:23am
well you either say something and possibly
upset your husband to or just deal with it
till you can get out of there.
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OneStepAtATime
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 1
Take Action! Posted: 06-21-07 10:07am
I'm sorry for your stress. I think that
you should definately confront the
situation. Many of us, become submissive
to others negative actions towards us. If
your husband is understanding you may want
to talk to him about it, try not to
implicate that his parents are at fault.
If you do this it sounds very negative on
your part. You may want to say that you
feel that they are not happy with you and
that you are worried about them. You try
and you try and it seems that they are not
willing to give you a chance. You could
tell him that you have been feeling
awkward and maybe it would be best to sit
down with him and his parents in order for
all of you to clear things and for
everyone to express how they feel. All of
us should be respected, and I would truly
recomend this! Remind your husband or ask
him what it is that he likes or loves
about you, and I would tell him that you
just want to be genuine with his parents
just as you are with him. Also, how are
you to keep the house together, with help
and such if you are not given a chance! I
do not know what religion you are or what
country you are from. Obviously we all
have different customs, but even so, I
hope that you have courage in this
venture! I feel for you and be yourself,
no matter what other people say! It
sounds like you have a good heart. If you
have to explode and say how you feel to
them, do so, just say it in a respectfull
intelligent way. hmmm i hope this helps
some. let us know how it goes!
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bijnil
Supporter
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 25 Location: ,
Thanks: 0
Thanked:9
Posted: 05-14-08 08:29am
Sorry to hear about your situation, but I
feel you really need to talk to your
husband and make him understand what you
are going through. I know it is easier
said than done, but on a regular basis you
may want to have a peaceful mind at home,
than constantly stress over what next.
Again, if you want to spare your husband
from the nitty gritty details of
domesticities, just firmly answer back
your in-laws that they too can participate
in the chores . For some people, fear
feeds their dominance, the more you take
the more they give, at the end you will
suffer, for the simple fact that no matter
what your husband is bound to have a soft
corner for his parents. So answer without
being rude, if they take offence you can
dissipate the tension by cooking a nice
snack or doing an activity that you as a
family enjoy. They would know that their
dominance has limitations. Lastly, treat
the yeast infection by consulting a doctor
and try to follow a probiotic diet foe a
while and see if it helps. All the best!
