Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Doula Question ?? Posted: 06-14-07 22:52pm
Alright. My husband and mom are great and
all but my last labor and delivery could
have been a lot better!! My mom tried to
give me massages but it just didn't work.
My husband tried, for about two
minutes...he really sucked, poor guy. He
tried. So I have been considering a doula.
Someone who can really help me relax, give
me massages, and someone who just has that
soothing type of voice to help me
relax...the counselor type of voice. In
addition, I have been thinking about
hiring a maternity photographer like I did
with my first child. She was a friend so
we got a pretty good discount along with
the best pictures ever! The delivery
pictures were really well done and
discrete enough..they were in black and
white. We got some great belly shots as
well before labor.
Anyways, I went to pick up a co-sleeper
today on craigslist and the person that
was selling it ended up being an
all-inclusive doula, photographer, massage
therapist and lactation specialist. What
are the chances???? When I first met her,
I was thinking "She has the perfect
soothing voice for a massage therapist. I
don't know how we got started on the
topic, but she is extremely qualified
doula. she does have her own business,
credentials and everything. She is
strongly considering studying to be a
midwife.
I am so excited! I will now try harder to
go natural with someone like her helping
me! Given the baby turns and I don't need
a c section.
Now for my question: Anyone have any
experiences with a doula? How do they work
around the husband and other family
members. My husband will want to comfort
me but the doula will do such a better job
with the whole relaxation and massages.
What did your doula really do??
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ladylee70
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Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Posted: 06-15-07 09:41am
anyone - information??
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10834 Location: ,
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Posted: 06-15-07 09:55am
sorry, karin. i don't have any info.
that woman sounds great though!
my good friend is a doula and she kept
offering her services to me (for free) but
i thought it would be too weird having her
there so i declined. she never really told
me what her services were though, i think
she just assumed i knew.
i've never heard of hiring a photographer
for the delivery. that's kind of neat.
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 06-15-07 10:03am
I don't have any first hand information
either because this is my first baby but
i've read about them and my sil had one at
her delivery. I think they just do all
the massaging and helping you be
comfortable while you're in labour. I
want to get one but we can't afford the
$300 or more that they charge so my friend
told me she would do it for free but i
know her from work and i felt like it
would be too awkward. I feel bad enough
that my mom and who knows who else is
going to be looking at my hoo hoo.
Anyway, we had another lady offer to do it
on a sliding scale, meaning we could pay
whatever we can afford, but she was
supposed to be here on sunday to meet with
us and make a birth plan and she didn't
show up and hasn't called again. I feel
like we're pretty low priority now just
because we don't have the money that other
couples do. I'm thinking about just
cancelling and doing without rather than
feeling like she doesn't really want to be
there. Both my sil and bil said their
experience with the doula was wonderful
and they were so glad to have her there,
but they ended up having a c section
anyway (she was induced). I have books
and stuff on it if you are interested, but
I'm sure you're looking for first hand
knowledge.
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musikmaker
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Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 1779 Location: Chicago, US
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Posted: 06-15-07 10:09am
I wish that we could afford a doula.
Having a doula in the room significantly
lowers your risk of having a c/s or using
pain meds. I think it would be great to
have someone else there that knows how to
do all this stuff. I say go for it!
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ladylee70
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Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Posted: 06-15-07 10:55am
Thanks everyone. I also would find it
awkward to have a friend, especially from
work, be my doula. For some reason, it
makes it easier when it's someone you
don't know but you know has a lot of
experiences. I did have a friend take the
birth pictures and I had initially thought
it would be strange for her to see me in
full view. She was more of an acquintence
(sp?) type friend through church so that
wasn't so bad.
If those books are any good, perhaps you
can PM me the names. I can see if they
have them at my local library or I may
just go to Barnes and Nobles. That woman
who just didn't show up sounds extremely
flaky. I can just see her skipping out on
the labor and having some really lame
excuse as to why she wasn't there. That is
just so unprofessional. Perhaps something
happened??
This women is charging $200 for everything
and I think that is including pictures. It
actually seems a bit low if it does
include pictures. I guess it just depends
where you live. It's still a bit pricey
but my birth experience last time around
really wasn't a good one at all. I really
am going to attempt natural birth because
last time I was so drugged up I couldn't
even hold my son. I think it affected him
as well. He opened his eyes immediately
after birth but then didn't open them up
until two days after. I had three
epidurals that didn't work and ended up
having a narcotic. My child was sunny
side up and the back labor pain was so
horrific my blood pressure was off the
charts. I almost fainted a few times,
which is why they gave me a narcotic.
Either that or they gave me a narcotic
because I kept yelling, "C section
please!!"After that, I was flying high. I
only pushed four times and he was out.
However,due to the medication I couldn't
feel the full emotions of just giving
birth. My emotions were pretty much masked
due to the narcotic. My whole family
laughs when I tell them I want to go
natural because I have absolutely no pain
tolerance. I figure with a doula, she will
do everything she can to keep to my birth
plan.
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jessesgirl
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Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
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Posted: 06-15-07 11:01am
That sounds great. I don't know anything
about doulas. The delivery pictures sound
awesome. I've never heard of that. It's
something I would do if I'd ever go
vaginally, but it looks like I'll just do
sections for the rest. I did maternity
pictures though at a studio with my
husband. I love those pictures!!!
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2712
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Posted: 06-15-07 11:14am
I had a doula both times, and the support
was fantastic. She helped my dh keep it
together when things got serious. I was
so glad both times that I did. I ended up
with a section the first time and the
Doula stayed with me while dh went with
baby. I had a very painful labor the 1st
time and was so thankful for the extra
support. The second time I had a breech
baby who turned 2 weeks prior to her
birthday. Which is too bad, because my
labor was painless even at 7 cm. I had to
do a c section again due to her being
breech, and was agian very happy that
someone could saty with me while my dh
went to "protect his little girl" from the
nursing staff. I say go for it!
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 06-15-07 13:42pm
"Mothering the mother" is a book about how
doulas can help during labour. I think
reading "birthing from within" (pam
england) would also be a good idea if you
are planning to go natural, plus it has
information about doulas. I had a couple
other books but i can't remember what they
are called now because i took them back to
the library. "The birth partner" (penny
simkin) is a good one for your hubby if he
is a reader. my guy is definitely not a
reader, i got the book but he didn't even
open it. i also got him a little book
called "don't just stand there" for dads
and he read most of that one. it's just a
small handbook but he took the time to go
through it because it had lots of pictures
.