Hi. I spent years on prozac for suicidal
depression and ocd. The prozac worked
well for me as far as the depression and
ocd. About a year ago, a new shrink
thought I might be bi-polar. I have
always had incredible mood swings,
episodes of incredible energy and a
feeling of being able to take on the world
and in the last two years had added insane
spending to the list. So, based on the
stuff I read, the bi-polar seemed like the
correct diagnosis. The doctor added a
med. I can't remember the name of and
olanzapine to stop in it's tracks the
crazy spending. The med.S did stop the
"up" of my bi-bolar but after a few
months, I realized I was still very
"down". Not suicidal...But immobilized.
I got moved to a new Dr. , (i am a
kaiser patient) who wanted to try just
lamotrigine with out any of the other
drugs, including my prozac. So...Fast
forward to today. The lamotricine
controls my "highs" and I don't find
myself totally immobilized...But....I
think I am right on the edge of
depression. I feel unmotivated by life.
My ocd has re-emerged, although it is
very mild and manageable.
Frankly, I miss my "highs". Not the
crazy spending....But the creative side of
me, (i am an artist....Or rather....I used
to be an artist. I don't paint or draw
or even decorate my home anymore)seems to
have died. Is this just the way I have
to live to have the extreme "highs"
controled? And is the semi-apathy
towards life just the way one has to live?
I know I can't return to "the old
me".....But as I sit and stare at my easel
I am sooo sad for what I have lost. I am
also "weepy" not sobbing crying....But
tearing up over the littlest things. I
do not feel suicidal but have this feeling
like the song says, "is that all there
is?"
any advice from people that have been
going through this longer than me would be
so apprciated. I don't know weather to
expect more....Or just accept that this is
it?
Thanks for letting me ramble. Clearly, I
am confused, and searching.
Gayle
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mia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 147 Location: dallas
Gayle Posted: 03-04-04 23:13pm
I am sorry that I seem to be the only one
answering the postings, but I can not
ignore your request. I am sorry that you
are in such a stagnant state. I really
feel that sometimes you have to get to
that place for a while before you can
start working your way back up to
something more like normal.
If you feel like you have been in "
zombie" mode for too long, make sure you
let your doctor know. They really don't
want you to feel bad. Sometimes it takes
a lot of fine tuning to get things just
right. And then after many years, of
being just right sometimes, your body
decides to just go crazy. It is just
like diabetes, it is not a constant,
things change. And remember, the sqeakey
wheal gets the grease. If you don't feel
your concerns are being addressed, make a
little noise. Making several phone calls
can acheive big results!
Good luck
mia
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vrajavala
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2004 Posts: 12 Location: Hollywood Florida
New Source Posted: 03-05-04 10:19am
Perhaps you need to find a new source of
inspiration. Remember that your past
euphoric swings probably just made you
feel creative, but did you really
accomplish that much? Be truthful with
yourself.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 03-07-04 10:49am
I agree you need a new source but not just
of inspiration, also of treatment.
Talk to your current dr about how you feel
& if you get nowhere see another Dr.
Alternatively you could try some more
natural treatments (which don't interfere
with meds) like sam-e (a natural mood
stabiliser) & 5htp (see tryptophan on
a search engine - this stabilises the
serotonin levels in your brain thus
reducing stress & stabilizing moods as
well) & i'm sure there are others.
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mia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 147 Location: dallas
Natural Remedies Posted: 03-07-04 17:25pm
Just so you know, natural remedies can
interact with your meds. Anything you put
in your body can interact with your meds
including certain foods, wine, beer or
alchohal, vitamins, minerals and any
natural supplements. The fda does not
regulate supplements. You always need to
run these by your doctor or pharmacist to
make sure they do not interact with your
medication or disease. Like sulfites,
these should not be taken by people with
lupus. They can come in the form of
anti-biotics, supplements, food
preservatives and they are added to some
wines.
