Bipolar Girlfriend Is Stressing Me Out ... Posted: 06-18-07 16:49pm
Whats up...I"m new and I know there is an
abundance of relationship issues with BP
in here but I need help...
Me and my gf have been together on and off
for 3 years...she left with no say...it
wasnt until months later I found out she
was Bipolar...her mother was murdered when
she was 3 years old and she doesnt really
know who her father is ( I know, its not
gonna be easy)...I love her...sometimes
she's just very inconsiderate, love to
argue and puts me down...I am the nicest
guy you'll ever meet (according to my GF),
and she knows how bad of a person she is
to me yet cant help it...I've read books
on how to love someone Bipolar and
everything...we recently moved in together
and things arent getting better...she's
Bisexual which only makes me jealous due
to the fact that I barely get any
affection or sex from her...she posted an
ad on craigslist.com lookin for women to
have casual sex with...ah man that hurt me
alot...I felt ugly, unappreciated and
basically betrayed...NOW! I dont know if I
should hold on until she gets the proper
treatment(meds and DR.) or just cut her
loose now...I cant tell if she hurts me to
be mean or because she's bipolar
anymore..HELP ME! if you need more info
just let me know...I hope to get responses
from bipolar women!!! thank you in advance
|
CiaoBella
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 07-11-07 12:33pm
I just broke up with my bipolar boyfriend
and his been the hardest thing I have ever
had to do in my life because I love him
more than anything and I know he can get
better. He is on meds, but they aren't
quite balanced yet (it's been 2 years and
they still aren't) and he has just
basically given up altogether on life.
But while some of his actions were
hurtful, it doesn't sound half as bad as
what you are dealing with. Honestly, even
though it's hard, I think you need to end
it until she gets help and really makes an
effort. It's so hard to cope with someone
who is bipolar but it is impossible when
they don't want to get better and don't
try. Good luck.
|
champdolla
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 07-11-07 16:28pm
Yea its crazy..she just lost her job and
about to lose the apartment because she
cant pay and I left her because she
slapped me for no reason...its become a
bit too much for me and it wasnt getting
any better especially now that she has no
health coverage...I feel really bad for
the girl but I cant continue to bail her
out financially and take a mental beating
all the time like that...enough is
enough...it was the hardest thing I ever
had to do...she meant the world to
me...but I had no choice
|
CiaoBella
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 07-12-07 15:33pm
Yeah that sounds so much like what our
relationship was like, although he was
NEVER mean and aggressive, he just would
get VERY depressed. But he still owes me
money that I am sure I will never see. It
just gets to be too much. At first I
didn't mind helping him out, but I became
a crutch and one day I realized that I
couldn't remember the last time I had put
my insterests first. I was so wrapped up
in him and helping him that I lost touch
with myself, not good. Still is hard to
end it though, especially because I know
he has the capacity to get better. Just
wonder if he will ever get the motivation
to take advantage of the help he has at
his disposal and GET better. How are you
dealing with the break up?
|
champdolla
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 07-18-07 14:04pm
i'm dealing with it to the best of my
ability by working out, goin to work,
reading, just taking it easy and working
on my own things in life...she moved to
Vegas with her uncle to get away from
things and swears to come back for me
because she wants to marry me and
etc...its weird...i dont know what to do
anymore...just scared of things going
right back to square one...she says she'll
use her time there to reflect, get some
type of help and just take it easy for a
while...but i'm fine...its for the best!
how are you doing?
|
lisaali
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Maryland
Posted: 07-19-07 15:19pm
I think it's probably best that you broke
it off with her. Despite her disability,
you deserve to be treated with respect.
Once you allow someone to treat you poorly
they use it as an open invitation to do it
over and over again. I'm bipolar and I
know that in past relationships that I
have been a horrible to people. I
cheated, lied, hit, emotionally abused
people, but you know what... I still new
it was wrong. It's true that people who
are bipolar often have a hard time
controlling their emotions, become
irratable, become enraged, promiscuious
etc, but that in no way makes it
acceptable. Sometimes you need to take a
stand for yourself, so you can be happy,
and when you do, you hope that the other
person wakes up and realizes that his/her
behavior is unacceptable no matter what
their disability is. Sometimes it takes
maturity to change behaviors, sometimes it
takes medication. In my case it was both.
I say separate for awhile, find out what
it is you will or will not tolerate in a
relationship and then if you want to get
back together later, set the guidelines
and see if she can stick to them, if she
can't, call it quits for good.
|
Imhappy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Gaylord Mi
Posted: 07-20-07 21:30pm
I can relate to you, I feel the pain. I
love my lady, baby, women. She has
inherently had insecurites, I made them
better(short term). I'm a "fixer" kind a
guy. I will never turn by back on her but
I've had to painfully "let her go". In
seven years I've gone from financially
secure to jeopordizing my childrens
future. She is very charming and loving
and VERY sexual. Its hard to resist! If
you still have any self esteem, RUN! and
keep a very casual contact. Please
remember you are your own most important
asset.
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