Problems with Husband and Masturbation Posted: 06-19-07 13:04pm
I am a married , my husband likes to
masturbate, which is normal, BUT, not with
or in front of me. wants others to see
him, I have caught him nude in front of an
open window several times and outside at
night. In my opinion this is not normal, I
wanted to blame myself, as we have stopped
a very healthy sexual relation for several
years , he says due to back surgery afraid
he will hurt me. Im not buying that, there
are too many ways to satisfy other than
the act its self, and he wont do any of it
with me.
In the fact he is younger and my health
has failed, is this normal???? Porn no
longer good enough, he wants to be seen or
likes the thought he might be seen seems
to excite him. I also have caught him in
porn sites with women and cams talking
with and having sex as he masturbates, I
know this can also be a not so healthy
thing, terribly confused.
I am leaving him and going back home, my
heart hurts too much, and Im angry at him.
It took awhile to post this I hope someone
has answers, he is also a dedicated
alcoholic and pot user, we both were in
our early marriage, I am no longer his
buddy in these habits too many health
probs. but seems other ways, I know he had
a hard time reaching his 1st orgasm with
me when we met and it took a few times, he
did masturbate and could releive himself.
No fault throwing here, just need
answers....I would never let someone see
me in those acts. That is private.
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 06-19-07 13:18pm
Actually, many people like to be watched
when they are nude or masturbating. Some
people have a fetish for it. I enjoy it.
There is nothing wrong with it as long as
the person can control themselves and does
not flash children or anything like that.
So his standing in front of an open window
is a bit risky.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-19-07 13:29pm
Well, I think there are far more serious
issues with your marriage and with him
than him just masturbating where people
can see him, but you said you didn't want
blame thrown so I won't. I do think it's a
good idea that you left, though. You're
not in the wrong here. You got hurt and
that's not your fault. No one should blame
themselves for that.
On to the main question... wanting to be
seen isn't uncommon, as llewy said. I like
to masturbate in front of my fiancee, and
we do it over webcam sometimes. Why your
husband doesn't want to do it in front of
you is beyond me. You should be the first
person he wants to masturbate in front of.
But again, your husband has some serious
health and mental issues he needs to have
dealt with, so I can't really say how
normal it is for him to not want to
masturbate in front of you.
Honestly, I think the issue lies with him,
not you. He needs to work through a lot of
things before he's going to be proper
husband material and be able to really
satisfy you mentally and physically.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 06-19-07 13:52pm
First of all welcome to ehealth! I am
sorry that things are not working out for
you and you have to leave but you know
what is the best thing to do for yourself!
It is not your fault and please don't
blame yourself! Have you ever sat down
with him and asked him about getting some
help on his drinking and his pot problem,
we all know that we cannot force someone
to get help like that, they have to be
willing to help themselves. You are
fortunate to have your family! My health
is deteriorating too but my husband has
been there for me and we have had our
moments, heck, what couple hasn't. Know
that I am here for you! How long have you
been married? do you have kids? I wish you
the best with your decision!
