My bf has been smoking pure weed in excess
for over 10 yrs. He's addicted in my
opinion! When I ask him why he does it, he
says he likes it to relieve boredom, to
pass the time, to concentrate on details,
and to relieve stress, not to mention the
general high feeling it gives him. I am
not a smoker so it is v hard for me to
relate. I kinda see it as unnecessary
escapism that does u a lot more harm than
good in the end! All I see is the effects
it has on him-- it changes him (&
therefore how we relate)-- the red &
slitty eyes, the slurred words and the
general laziness. It really upsets me to
see how dependent he is on it! He can go
weeks without gettin anything done--
except maybe completing a few video games!
I've asked him to cut down for both our
sakes. He tells me that he wants to do
this, and he's also talked about quitting
altogether for our future together BUT...
he just can't do it! All his friends
smoke. He gets it cheap as chips from a
mate. He doesn't know wot can/will replace
it & he's probably afraid of what it
takes to get off it properly! It's a
vicious circle! I want to help but I've
got no idea where to start.
He's tried goin cold turkey- which he
managed for about 3 months til the
after-effects just got too much for him to
bear! When he was off it he didn't
socialise with his mates, he felt really
stressed a lot of the time- which his body
kept telling him in different ways, and he
got really emotional about the smallest
thing! Altogether he felt awful! I'd
equate it to having PMT permanently!
So it's no wonder
he went back to it. BUT... now what? How
can he ever quit? & wot can I do to
tolerate it & help him in the meantime
(not to mention in future)?
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2603 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 06-21-07 22:31pm
I would ditch a drug addict in a new york
minute specially when there is so many
drug-free men out there. So it's up to
you. Do you want a life with a man like
that? Is that what you think is the best
man you can have? Your situation is not
going to get better. Whoever chooses that
sad path will end up failure, that is well
proven, so that's what you will get. You
decide.
I honestly don't understand why some women
want be with loosers. I have a coworker
whose bf is a looser and she aknowledges
he is a looser but she still want to be
with him because she says she is now "used
to be with him". Other coworker who also
had a looser bf told me she doesn't find
other because she doesn't believe there is
better men out there. Oh well I guess to
each his own. It's the way some people
choose to live like. I think it's
consequence of having low self-steem.
|
LoveOperated
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 25
Re: My Bf Smokes Too Much Posted: 06-21-07 22:49pm
Sagittarius07
wrote:
My bf has been smoking pure
weed in excess for over 10 yrs. He's
addicted in my opinion! When I ask him why
he does it, he says he likes it to relieve
boredom, to pass the time, to concentrate
on details, and to relieve stress, not to
mention the general high feeling it gives
him. I am not a smoker so it is v hard for
me to relate. I kinda see it as
unnecessary escapism that does u a lot
more harm than good in the end! All I see
is the effects it has on him-- it changes
him (& therefore how we relate)-- the
red & slitty eyes, the slurred words
and the general laziness. It really upsets
me to see how dependent he is on it! He
can go weeks without gettin anything
done-- except maybe completing a few video
games!
I've asked him to cut down for both our
sakes. He tells me that he wants to do
this, and he's also talked about quitting
altogether for our future together BUT...
he just can't do it! All his friends
smoke. He gets it cheap as chips from a
mate. He doesn't know wot can/will replace
it & he's probably afraid of what it
takes to get off it properly! It's a
vicious circle! I want to help but I've
got no idea where to start.
He's tried goin cold turkey- which he
managed for about 3 months til the
after-effects just got too much for him to
bear! When he was off it he didn't
socialise with his mates, he felt really
stressed a lot of the time- which his body
kept telling him in different ways, and he
got really emotional about the smallest
thing! Altogether he felt awful! I'd
equate it to having PMT permanently!
So it's no wonder
he went back to it. BUT... now what? How
can he ever quit? & wot can I do to
tolerate it & help him in the meantime
(not to mention in future)?
I'm no doctor, and I don't know many
things about drug addiction. Infact, I
don't know much about this stuff at all.
I've tried this method whenever I get
"hooked" on something: [not drugs, just
stupid things like certain foods and
stuff]
Eliminate it week by week. Say he smokes
3 bowls a day on average. Have him smoke
3 bowls for one week,
2 bowls for the next week,
then 1 bowl the next week,
1 bowl every other day,
and so on and so forth.
I did this with my friend who was addicted
to cigarettes, and she didn't want to use
nicotene patches.This probably will
help, but he should see a specialist about
this.
|
Sagittarius07
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 3 Location: UK
Posted: 07-02-07 15:36pm
Thanks for the advice LoveOperated. I
guess if my boyf and I pull together and
take each day at a time we'll get there!
He's steadily making progress towards
quitting by finding things to occupy more
of his time and he no longer smokes when
he's with me. Still, I think the true test
comes from the friends he keeps because
his social circle has a massive impact on
how often he smokes! So if all else fails
over the next few weeks we'll seek
specialist help.
I think NightAngel73 is a little harsh in
her comments and I disagree entirely on
giving up on my man- as she suggests. I
absolutely refuse to throw in the towel so
easily! After all, our relationship is
definitely worth working for- and both of
us are adamant on this. The situation can
only get better with both of us fighting
for the same goal surely!
It's not as simple as to deduce that this
situation makes my boyf a "loser". He
merely smokes pot! He's not a crack addict
who treats me badly and is happy goin
nowhere with his life! He's the sweetest,
sexiest and most considerate man I would
ever wish to meet, never mind be with! And
without sounding arrogant, I openly admit
to being a very independent and
self-assured woman with high self-esteem
and the intellect to see the bigger
picture, so I take exception to being said
to be with a so-called "looser" when I'm
with a decent man who's only failing is
that he smokes pot a little more often
than I'd like!!
|
jennay7188
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 12 Location: alabama
Posted: 08-08-07 19:34pm
Sagitarius. I feel you completely on this.
I'm almost in the exact same situation.
But my boyfriend mainly smokes pot because
his roomate is kind of a pothead. Ha. I've
already had this "pot talk" with my
boyfriend and he really wants to cut back,
and he is very intelligent and has
selfcontrol and determination with just
about everything he does, and with
whatever he wants/has to do. Not to
mention he has previously lived with
family who are addicted to really harsh
drugs [i.e. meth!] so he is practically
the anti-drug becasue he has seen what bad
drugs do to people and he moved across the
united states just to get away from the
addicts. So he is very sure that pot would
never overpower him. I know this, because
I would show him if he let that happen! I
love him too much to ever give up on him
with any situation. We are so young. I'm
19 and he's 20 [almost 21]. We have time
to learn and grow, I think we're doing
much better than a lot of people our ages,
we can only do even better at this point!!
: )
|
confused317
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2007 Posts: 2 Location: miami
Posted: 08-09-07 16:31pm
He may need some professional help... I am
in the same situation but when he tries to
quit he is a total jerk to me and it is
getting old. I cannot force him to stop
so I may have to just leave and hope he
sees the light. Hang in there
So it's no wonder
he went back to it. BUT... now what? How
can he ever quit? & wot can I do to
tolerate it & help him in the meantime
(not to mention in future)? 
