No, spanking is not an acceptable form of discipline
33%
[ 13 ]
Under some conditions, spanking is appropriate
66%
[ 26 ]
Total Votes : 39
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Tylanas
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Posted: 06-25-07 21:12pm
Excellent, I totally agree with everything
you said!!
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Emma2
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Posted: 06-26-07 07:33am
there is spanking and then there is
abuse...i was spanked occasionally and i
didnt turn into some violent person with a
"people to kill list" ...nothing wrong
with a clap on the butt or inside of the
hand once in a while.
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Birch
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Posted: 06-26-07 08:13am
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with striking
defenseless, small children. We should
encourage it more, even.
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Tylanas
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Posted: 06-26-07 17:10pm
Birch
wrote:
Yeah, there's nothing wrong
with striking defenseless, small children.
We should encourage it more, even.
Birch, I'm sorry you feel this way. But
for some reason, I turned out a complete
pacifist, despite being spanked a total of
twice my entire youth.
Spanking is the ultimate punishment. Pain
works. No, it's not "nice". But a well
behaved child who knows what they did to
deserve the punishment is going to be a
well behaved, well adjusted child, as
opposed to a child who knows they can get
away with anything and all that's going to
happen is that they have to sit in a
corner.
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Emma2
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Posted: 06-26-07 17:47pm
Birch
wrote:
Yeah, there's nothing wrong
with striking defenseless, small children.
We should encourage it more, even.
no ur right there is nothing wrong with a
slap on the butt or hand...children need
to be disciplined and eiri is 100% correct
"it's the ulimate punishment" and it
happens only when it is necessary...
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 06-26-07 18:13pm
I don't understand why it's assault when a
grown person hits me, grabs, me or even
spits on me,but if you are a child, your
parents are allowed to hit you. It does
not make sense to me. I am not saying
that spanking parents are bad, or I would
be saying that about my own parents. I do
think it is an interesting fact, though.
And as for a 14 year old acting out,
yelling at you and coming at you, did you
stop to wonder why this is? The reason I
ask is detailed below:
"Comprehensive study links spanking to
aggression, behavior problems
By David Crary, Associated Press, 6/25/02
NEW YORK -- After analyzing six decades of
expert research on corporal punishment, a
psychologist says parents who spank their
children risk causing long-term harm that
outweighs the short-term benefit of
instant obedience.
The psychologist, Elizabeth Gershoff,
found links between spanking and 10
negative behaviors or experiences,
including aggression, anti-social behavior
and mental health problems. The one
positive result of spanking that she
identified was quick compliance with
parental demands. "
The article goes on to indicate that the
effects of mild spanking have not been
found to contribute to an increase in
these negative attributes. They also
indicate that based on this study, one
cannot simply deduce that one causes the
other, only that there is a correlation
which must be taken into consideration.
Furthermore, the article does indicate as
well that the american academy of
pediatrics has taken a stand against
corporal punishment.
So I am not saying that one spanking is
going to turn a child into a sociopath,
but you see where this could lead. i am
certain that people have seen footage of
the mother who spanks her kid every five
minutes for not following her orders. it
is the only tool she has.
Discipline and punishment are not the same
thing. Spanking is punishment.
Discipline is a structure of working and
relationships with the child that help
them to develop their own ideas of right
and wrong, and with proper discipline and
nurturing, children will not require
spanking.
Again, just my two cents.
Ther have been a lot of studies
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Emma2
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Posted: 06-26-07 18:15pm
corporal punishment is in the
bible.....there are alot of studies about
everything and frankly lots of it is
bs...if my child is way out of line and
consistanly does something when he was
told repeatedly not to he will get
spanked..plain and simple.
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Tylanas
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Posted: 06-26-07 18:37pm
If your older child is acting like that,
there's something else going on, and it's
not related to one or two taps on the
butt, sorry.
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Birch
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Posted: 06-26-07 19:33pm
Whoa, whoa whoa. I was being utterly
sarcastic and trying to be ironic. I
can't tell if you all took it that way or
not.
Hitting a child, causing it to physically
fear the adult in charge of it's care is
not fostering a loving relationship.
I know I'm a little hardheaded about this
b/c of my upbringing, but I've read alot
about it and can't work it out as to how
it's 'okay'. No one has yet convinced me
why it is 'okay' to hit your kid.
I've heard:
1. It happened to me and I turned out
fine. So you can hit your kid because you
turned out okay?
2. Corporal punishment is .biblical. So
is killing children for misbehaving, not
eating shellfish, etc.
3. "Just a slap" isn't going to hurt
anyone. Get slapped lately? It's
humiliating not to mention painful. Maybe
if it's not so bad it should be overlooked
as a source of discipline.
4. As a last resort tactic. Obviously,
everything else has failed. Maybe you
need to slap yourself for screwing up down
the line somewhere.
And like sillyakchick pointed out and I
have been stressing as well, I can't
reconcile why it's okay to strike your
'flesh and blood' but not strangers on the
street.
I think it's because they can fight back,
and people who spank children are cowardly
and know that the kid can't fight back.
Sorry if I've offended anyone, I just feel
that (one of) the measures of what kind of
person you are is in how you treat those
who have less (whether it be money, or
physical stature) than you do.
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Tylanas
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Posted: 06-26-07 19:52pm
Humiliation is what is needed for some
children to behave. No, it's not "Nice",
but some kids just do not respond to a
soft touch. Are you going to let that
child walk all over you? Some children
just do not respond to "sit in the corner"
and they will disobey because they know
that there is no other punishment that can
happen to them. They've seen the worst,
and it is sitting in a chair. So what?
It's not a strong enough punishment for
them. They need something harsher.
Never spank in public. It is between the
parent and the child. It reaffirms the
parent as the one in charge. Yes, the
parent is bigger, and that means the child
needs to listen to them. If they don't,
there are consequences.
Mistakes and breaking the rules later in
life can result in punishment much worse
than a spank. Learning that being
disobedient can hurt you is an important
lesson.
For some reason, I realized even at the
young age I was spanked, that what I had
done was completely inexcusable. if I was
being spanked for it, then it was
something I never, ever should have done
and never, ever should do again, unless
I'm capable of handling the consequences.
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Birch
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Posted: 06-26-07 20:03pm
Although I respect your opinion, I
bristled at your first sentence.
Humiliating a child is a form of emotional
abuse, and intolerable. Emotional abuse
can leave far greater scars than physical
abuse.
You do not have to be physically violent
to avoid a 'soft touch'.
I also bristled (turing into a porcupine
here ) with the "the
parent is bigger, that means the child
needs to listen to them". I would hope
that you would reflect on that (I know you
are an intelligent pacifist with buddist
leanings) and consider what that means in
the grand scheme of things. Not just with
people, but with communities, countries,
bank accounts, ect.
I would rather that they respect me,
that's why they need to listen to me, and
I earn their respect from my actions, not
by the power of my hand.
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Tylanas
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Posted: 06-26-07 20:10pm
Honestly, I don't totally know why I feel
the way I do, but I'm trying to articulate
it as best I can.
It comes down to this:
I don't feel a little bit of spanking when
the child does something horrible is
wrong.
I can't tell you why I feel it is right,
however.
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HcoBrunette06
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Posted: 06-26-07 20:13pm
i don't feel like spanking is wrong, but i
hope that i never have to do it. i hope my
kids are as easy going as i was, i was
sent to my room and whenever i wanted to
come out i wrote my mom an "im sorry" note
and
i was tiny. i wonder if they even made
sense.
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Birch
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Posted: 06-26-07 20:16pm
Eiri
wrote:
Honestly, I don't totally
know why I feel the way I do, but I'm
trying to articulate it as best I can.
It comes down to this:
I don't feel a little bit of spanking when
the child does something horrible is
wrong.
I can't tell you why I feel it is right,
however.
I understand.
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 06-27-07 07:12am
Emma2
wrote:
corporal punishment is in
the bible.....there are alot of studies
about everything and frankly lots of it is
bs...if my child is way out of line and
consistanly does something when he was
told repeatedly not to he will get
spanked..plain and
simple.
Here we go again....
The bible wins out with reasoning over
scientific study and observation. They
used to think the world was flat, you
know. Then science figured out that was
wrong. They formulated a hypothesis and
tested it. Just because the bible says
something is OK, does that mean we have to
do it? Should I take somebody's eye if I
were accidentally blinded? Try getting
off on a biblical defense on that one.
|
Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 06-27-07 07:45am
Birch
wrote:
Eiri
wrote:
Honestly, I don't totally
know why I feel the way I do, but I'm
trying to articulate it as best I can.
It comes down to this:
I don't feel a little bit of spanking when
the child does something horrible is
wrong.
I can't tell you why I feel it is right,
however.
I understand.
I agree with you. A child shouldn't be
spanked for being sassy, or giving
attitude. They should know what will get
them a spanking beforehand, and spankings
should be left for the most serious of
offenses. I have to say that as a parent,
.I hated the very few spankings .I felt .I
had to give my daughter, but .I would much
rather her have a sore bottom for a minute
than get squashed by a mack truck for
playing in the road.
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Becky
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Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6221 Location: London, England
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Posted: 06-27-07 08:07am
Birch
wrote:
Whoa, whoa whoa. I was
being utterly sarcastic and trying to be
ironic. I can't tell if you all took it
that way or not.
Hitting a child, causing it to physically
fear the adult in charge of it's care is
not fostering a loving relationship.
I know I'm a little hardheaded about this
b/c of my upbringing, but I've read alot
about it and can't work it out as to how
it's 'okay'. No one has yet convinced me
why it is 'okay' to hit your kid.
I've heard:
1. It happened to me and I turned out
fine. So you can hit your kid because you
turned out okay?
2. Corporal punishment is .biblical. So
is killing children for misbehaving, not
eating shellfish, etc.
3. "Just a slap" isn't going to hurt
anyone. Get slapped lately? It's
humiliating not to mention painful. Maybe
if it's not so bad it should be overlooked
as a source of discipline.
4. As a last resort tactic. Obviously,
everything else has failed. Maybe you
need to slap yourself for screwing up down
the line somewhere.
And like sillyakchick pointed out and I
have been stressing as well, I can't
reconcile why it's okay to strike your
'flesh and blood' but not strangers on the
street.
I think it's because they can fight back,
and people who spank children are cowardly
and know that the kid can't fight back.
Sorry if I've offended anyone, I just feel
that (one of) the measures of what kind of
person you are is in how you treat those
who have less (whether it be money, or
physical stature) than you
do.
i agree with you 100% on this one!!!!!
I.m.o- if a parent can hit their child for
misbehaving- then everytime the adult
screws up they should get a punch in the
face
can you imagine how it would hurt a little
body to have an adults strong hand
spanking it? it makes me sick.
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wacky81
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2007 Posts: 7 Location: Florida
Spanking Is Ok! Posted: 06-27-07 09:29am
I think spanking is ok. Time outs and
other forms of punishments do not work for
some children. I believe a spanking should
always be preceded by a warning and a
reminder of the rules, but I think some
children need to be spanked. I remember
being spanked all the time, and I don't
feel abused at all. I was hit with belts,
paddles, hands, and tree limbs among other
things. I'm not saying I would use any of
that to spank a child, though. I think
children have to be taught that there are
consequences for their choices, and that
spanking may be ONE of the consequences.
That is one of the major problems in
schools today. Teachers are not able to
give the children consequences, and some
parents, by just giving time out or
grounding, are not helping. If the same
offense happens more than once, after a
consequence has been dealt, obviously the
message hasn't gotten through to the
child. I think if more parents used
spanking today (not abuse), then more kids
would respect adults and authority
figures. Teachers can only give out
meaningless punishments that the kids
don't care about. This teaches the kid
nothing. I will say though, that if
teachers are going to spank children, the
parent needs to be called and given a
chance to witness, and there needs to be
at least one other witness (preferably the
principal or dean) when the spanking in
given so no one can be sued. This is my
opinion. Have a great day!
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Emma2
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Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
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Posted: 06-27-07 09:37am
sillyakchick
wrote:
Emma2
wrote:
corporal punishment is in
the bible.....there are alot of studies
about everything and frankly lots of it is
bs...if my child is way out of line and
consistanly does something when he was
told repeatedly not to he will get
spanked..plain and
simple.
Here we go again....
The bible wins out with reasoning over
scientific study and observation. They
used to think the world was flat, you
know. Then science figured out that was
wrong. They formulated a hypothesis and
tested it. Just because the bible says
something is OK, does that mean we have to
do it? Should I take somebody's eye if I
were accidentally blinded? Try getting
off on a biblical defense on that
one.
don't roll your eyes at my you twit.
read what i wrote in the entire
pharagraph...and an eye for an eye doesnt
apply in that way...learn how to read the
bible before making ridiculous
assumptions.
i will spank when it is absolutely
needed..p.e.r.i.o.d!
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 06-27-07 09:37am
I don't believe in hitting kids with
objects. Only an open hand and certainly
they should be warned.
I'm not saying .I should use all my force
on a spank either, absolutely not!!!
If a teacher ever hit my child .I would
take them out
) with the "the
parent is bigger, that means the child
needs to listen to them". I would hope
that you would reflect on that (I know you
are an intelligent pacifist with buddist
leanings) and consider what that means in
the grand scheme of things. Not just with
people, but with communities, countries,
bank accounts, ect.
