Joined: 23 Jun 2007 Posts: 4 Location: West Yorkshire
Is There Something Wrong With Me ? Posted: 06-23-07 16:11pm
Hi, just recently my extreme shyness is
bothering me even more so than ever and
I'm afraid that it isn't just shyness that
I have. This is why I think so:
My face flushes if I talk to strangers or
people I don't know well, often shop
assistants, teachers, most especially
doctors. Also, if I am put in these
situations I always think 'my face is
going to go red' and this makes it even
worse. Then I feel my face burning so I
get scared to look at whoever it is in the
eyes and will rub my face or mess with my
hair just to try to divert attention.
Sometimes in these situations I can
actually hear my heart beating very fast.
Then when the situation is over I feel
much more calm and relaxed.
I am very self-conscious, I feel that I
cannot change my appearance for fear of
what other people will think. So I wear
the same style of clothing and do not
alter my face in any way including the way
I wear my hair. I cannot wear just a
tee-shirt in summer, I think people are
looking at my hips or my breasts and
thinking bad things.
When talking to strangers or unfamiliar
people my voice is weak and very quiet,
and if I have to string a long sentence
together I will stammer.
I aviod parties or meeting up with
friends. As a result, I only have one
friend left because I kept rejecting
offers people no longer ask me.
I hate been in crowded places I feel hot
and uncomfortable like everyone is looking
at me in a bad way.
Please tell me if these thoughts are
normal, if I am just shy or what because I
hate the way I live.
|
northendnorman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 6 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Some Thoughts Posted: 06-24-07 02:49am
I think that those thoughts are quite
common, but allowing them to control our
lives causes the problems. The why of
allowing them could have any number of
sources. I know that it is lonely living
under that type of control. I have been
there myself and I feel for you. You
mentioned aversion to doctors, but maybe
you could find a therapist who could help
you get to the root of your difficulty.
Find one that will listen and you feel you
can trust. Sometimes, medication can work
wonders. I resisted the idea for many
years, and looking back, wish I could have
considered medication a long time ago,
because it has given me a lot of freedom I
never had. Hope you find this helpful.
|
Jaydensmommy
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 28 Jan 2004 Posts: 1684 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 06-24-07 11:32am
It is very common. I too experience this
more than I'd like to!! For me it stems
from being self concious. I am always
thinking everyone is looking at me because
I am too fat or ugly, which in turn makes
my face red, embarassed, shy. I get
paranoid that I am the center of everyones
attention. With time I have learned to
get past that a just a bit. I have
realized that not everyone is staring at
me. The more I look paranoid the more
people will look. I have kind of taken
this attitude that if you don't like me
don't look at me, and it has gotten
better. Don't get me wrong it still does
occur, but not as often.
|
northendnorman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 6 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Another Resource Posted: 06-24-07 14:58pm
I found something that helped me a great
deal, and that was a series of audio
programs that helps change our thinking,
which cause us to think better of
ourselves and relieve ourselves of our
obsessions. If you type into Google,
"Accelerated Success Audio Programs", you
will find out what this is all about.
Another thing I have found helpful was
joining Al-Anon. I had been affected by my
father's drinking, and that of other
people in my life. I got a sponsor and
went to meetings(hard at first), and over
time, I started to feel better: so my
recovery has been a combination of things,
and I am very grateful for each one. One
other thing, I had a lot of people praying
for me, I will be praying for you.
|
becky1789
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jun 2007 Posts: 4 Location: West Yorkshire
Posted: 06-24-07 16:03pm
I have thought about going to my doctor
before, but I know I wouldn't be able to
approach him or say what I want to say and
I know my eyes would start filling up and
everything because that too happens
sometimes when I talk to unfamiliar people
about things like this.
I try to speak to my friend about it but
she doesn't understand. And my family are
no use at all, my father seems to think
its funny how shy I am and loves to make a
joke out of it. My brother thinks he's shy
when I know he isn't. And I aren't close
to my mother, I tell her nothing personal.
My last exam is on Wednesday and then I
have officially left sixth form, you see
my college is attatched to my high school
so I never had to meet new people because
the people that go to my college are
generally those who went to my school. Now
I am so scared because I start university
in September and its all I am going to
think about up until them. I want to
change, but the only thing that I have
found to make myself to feel more out
going is to get very drunk. I think the
best thing is a doctor, but if I cannot
speak to him I don't know what to do.
|
northendnorman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 6 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Drinking For Courage Posted: 06-27-07 21:31pm
I have gone that route in the past and it
ends up in worse depression, lower self
esteem, and extreme isolation. I think
that the pain of change is better than the
pain of staying the same. There is a risk
to reach out for help, especially if we
have been wounded by those in positions of
trust such as parents. If we want things
to change we will take risks. There is a
group called Emotions Anonymous, or if you
think you have an alcohol problem, A.A.
These might be very helpful. In these
groups you meet people with the same
struggles and learning how to get
free.They don't judge you.You could start
by finding something on-line to begin with
and move from there. Help is there, but
only if you go get it. You may be
surprised at the love and acceptance you
will find if you take this step. I am
still praying for you.
|
becky1789
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jun 2007 Posts: 4 Location: West Yorkshire
Posted: 06-28-07 04:44am
Thank you so much, I am going to wait a
few weeks and see if I can change on my
own. I will try to face things I am afraid
of.
|
northendnorman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jun 2007 Posts: 6 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Freedom Posted: 06-30-07 00:40am
I'm glad to hear that. I would encourage
you to tell yourself everyday that you are
a special, unique masterpiece. We all are,
but somewhere along the line, we learned
to believe otherwise. You life is precious
and valuable, you have a unique
contribution to make to the world. Try to
believe it because it is true. Of all the
people in the world, there is not another
like you. That is an awesome thing to
think about. I hope you can start to
believe this, because this is the
beginning of freedom.
|
Trent07
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jul 2007 Posts: 1
Posted: 07-02-07 04:21am
becky1789
wrote:
I have thought about going
to my doctor before, but I know I wouldn't
be able to approach him or say what I want
to say and I know my eyes would start
filling up and everything because that too
happens sometimes when I talk to
unfamiliar people about things like this.
I try to speak to my friend about it but
she doesn't understand. And my family are
no use at all, my father seems to think
its funny how shy I am and loves to make a
joke out of it. My brother thinks he's shy
when I know he isn't. And I aren't close
to my mother, I tell her nothing personal.
My last exam is on Wednesday and then I
have officially left sixth form, you see
my college is attatched to my high school
so I never had to meet new people because
the people that go to my college are
generally those who went to my school. Now
I am so scared because I start university
in September and its all I am going to
think about up until them. I want to
change, but the only thing that I have
found to make myself to feel more out
going is to get very drunk. I think the
best thing is a doctor, but if I cannot
speak to him I don't know what to
do.
If you only have one friend and she doesnt
understand then is she trully your friend?
Does she support you in any way or help
you out? Try re-talking to her.
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
For me it stems
from being self concious. I am always
thinking everyone is looking at me because
I am too fat or ugly, which in turn makes
my face red, embarassed, shy. I get
paranoid that I am the center of everyones
attention. With time I have learned to
get past that a just a bit. I have
realized that not everyone is staring at
me. The more I look paranoid the more
people will look. I have kind of taken
this attitude that if you don't like me
don't look at me, and it has gotten
better. Don't get me wrong it still does
occur, but not as often.