haah okay.. i was thinking that sounded
like that movie monster in law. lol
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 06-26-07 15:48pm
sillyakchick
wrote:
I think people should wait a
little while to have children once they
are married/together and here is why: I
think that if you spend a few years
together building a strong relationship
and have time to sort out differences
prior to complicating things with
children, then you will have an easier
time raising them. I was married for seven
years before we decided to go for it. I do
believe that people can be fabulous
parents to children without waiting, and
even without being married or "attached".
I just know that we had a lot of good
times, late nights, parties and
spontaneity in our lives. After a while we
were too tired to stay out late, bars
seemed boring, and we seldom went on any
trips anymore. That was when we decided
that we were "old enough" to have
kids.
I agree with this in a sense, but my
husband and I have only been married for
about two months. However, we have been
together for six years and have been
living together for three. We aren't
really into the bar scene anymore and I
used to drink kinda heavily, but now I
feel pretty disinterested in it. Our
evenings consist of having dinner
together, going to the gym, watching TV or
a movie.
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Carifairy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 2608 Location: Charlotte n.c.
Thanks: 12
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-26-07 15:54pm
I do think that there is a 'too young
age'.
14 year olds often must use government
assistance to have children, and they need
way more help than a woman of her 20's,
30's and so on.
Most people on medicaid right now, at
least in my city, are teenagers that are
pregnant.
Government assistance IMO dies not qualify
for raising your 'own' child, because you
are not doing it all by yourself.. :/
I really strongly believe that people
should wait until they can afford
children, something that a 14 year just
cannot do.
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mommyto3soontobe4boys
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 185
Posted: 06-26-07 19:49pm
I am 25 and just had my 4th child, my
first was born when I was 18. I personaly
dont see anything wrong with you ttc.
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2690
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-27-07 07:03am
I'll tell you what, you are all going to
look a lot better than me at our kid's
high school graduation!! lol
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 06-27-07 07:47am
I was 18 when .I had my daughter and 35
when .I had my son
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2690
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-29-07 21:00pm
Mommy35
wrote:
I was 18 when .I had my
daughter and 35 when .I had my
son
That is a big age difference. What do you
think were the pro's and cons for each of
your pregnancies, deliveries, and
children. Do you notice any differences
as to which things are easier now vs.
then?
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 06-29-07 22:12pm
sillyakchick
wrote:
Mommy35
wrote:
I was 18 when .I had my
daughter and 35 when .I had my
son
That is a big age difference. What do you
think were the pro's and cons for each of
your pregnancies, deliveries, and
children. Do you notice any differences
as to which things are easier now vs.
then?
Thanks for asking
Well, actually neither was planned.
My daughter was a premie and it was very
traumatic, so .I didn't think .I wanted
more. She was not the easiest baby, so
that decided it. Then in my mid 20's .I
was ttc for a long time, and didn't, so .I
kind of gave up on it. Then .I got preggo
and .I'll be honest
.I had some mixed feelings about it.
Pregnant at 35?!! That is the age where
your risk goes up a lot for giving birth
to a baby with downs, spina bifida, etc.
My daughter was 16, and able to sit with
herself if .I wanted to go to dinner or
work a couple hours late. I had recently
scored the best job.
After not a lot of thought, .I swallowed
the idea and have been in love with my
little man ever since.
All in all this last pregnancy was
unremarkable and .I went full term. With
my first my water broke at 28-29 weeks. I
had c-sections with both. Emergency with
my daughter, planned with my son. My
second c-section was much much easier than
my first. I was up shopping in Walmart 3
days after having my son.
Jaylon is a much more content baby than
.Brianna ever was. I'm older, .I'm
calmer, my life is so much better and less
stressful now. This time around, .I have
time to enjoy my baby, where as with my
daughter .I had to bust hump to make ends
meet. I do enjoy him so much.
I know a lot of people think older parents
are not as fun, or don't have the energy
that young parents have. I don't really
buy that. I am in great shape (a bit
overweight), I have plenty of energy, and
you probably won't find a crazier 35 year
old out there. I look forward to t ball,
baseball, or anything he wants to get
involved in. I can't wait.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2460 Location: ,
Thanks: 14
Thanked:7
Posted: 06-30-07 10:27am
Mommy35
wrote:
Pregnant at 35?!! That is
the age where your risk goes up a lot for
giving birth to a baby with downs, spina
bifida, etc.
The risk for down syndrome or spina
bifida (this is if you don't take folic
acid regardless of the age) is very low at
35 and this has been confirmed to me by
all the ob/gyn doctors I have met
including my new coworker who is ob/gyn
and his mom actually birthed him in her
40's. The risk is low very low. You should
just be healthy and take folic acid if you
are planning to ttc. I'm 34 and planning
to ttc next year when I'm 35. And actually
i want two children so I would like to
have one at 35 and one at 37. I too have a
lot of energy and my body is excellent
shape (people think i'm in my 20's) but
then I work out in the gym and do
bodybuilding. You do have to do excersice
to keep fit and have energy.
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stacybaby
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 195 Location: scotland
Posted: 06-30-07 12:32pm
im from scotland and had my daughter at
19,me and her father had been together
over 4 half years..then split up because
of it.. i had just bought my OWN house and
was working full time... i supported her
myself and paid my mortgage without help
from her dad government etc...
i was determined i would not become one of
the governments perception of a single
mum- ie young,not working,council house
and on benefits
i am a great parent even tho i was 19,shes
a very happy confident little girl who has
manners and is out going
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Carifairy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2005 Posts: 2608 Location: Charlotte n.c.
Thanks: 12
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-30-07 15:30pm
Congrats on TTC nightangel!!
The wholehearted truth of the matter is
that there is actually a low risk of down
syndrome in women 35+.
The risk is 'slightly' elevated, but it is
only slight, and not enough to warrant any
woman from not ttc in her late thirties.
Folic acid, at least 800mcg a day, will be
a huge help.
Congrats =) I believe that the risks are
inflated by certain sources, and in
actuality so many women 35 and over have
healthy babies.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 06-30-07 15:54pm
Yes, what .I was saying is your risks have
increased, higher than someone who
conceives at say age 20. They certainly
don't increase so much that you should be
afraid of getting pregnant at 35, but you
are watched a bit closer. You are on the
low end of "advanced maternal age". I had
a healthy baby boy.
Good luck with ttc
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jessesgirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
Thanks: 16
Thanked:3
Posted: 06-30-07 16:06pm
My husband and I have been together for
over 10 years with the exception of 3 1/2
years in the middle of those ten (long
story if you don't already know). Well we
started trying to conceive shortly after
marriage. We want 4 children 2 or less
years apart. I want to be done child
bearing in 5 1/2 years. I'm 23, he's 25.
We want to be young enough to enjoy our
children and our grandchildren. People
use to tell me that we were crazy and too
young to try so soon and that waiting was
better. I never believed them. I
overheard some co-workers talking in the
lounge about how they waited until their
mid 30s to have children and how it was
"soooo much better because you appreciate
your children and have more patience and
can tolerate their crying more than a
younger parent." I was so hurt b/c they
don't even know. I went back to my
classroom and started crying b/c they were
so wrong and I just thought about how much
I love and appreciate Ava and they had no
clue. It's like they were insulting me
directly. They were actually trying to
talk a 27 year old co-worker out of trying
until her 30s. Anyway, the point is
neither is better, it's a personal
preference. If you strongly feel like you
want to conceive now, then do it, there's
no need to wait.
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sick_mama17
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jun 2007 Posts: 960 Location: , England
Posted: 06-30-07 16:34pm
To me it really depends on the
personalities and life experience of the
people ttc.
I was pregnant with my son at 16. I
wouldnt advise anyone to ttc that young.
Imo people should wait until their body
has finished growing itself,
have had lots of different experiences in
life so they are well educated on things,
accomplished some of what they want to do
in life,
get the whole clubbing and wild nights
with friends thing over,
know exactly how they are going to afford
a child and how to look after it,
have talked to lots of parents and babysat
for kids of all different ages - so they
know (on some level) the
responsibility-patience-sacrifices and
money (etc) involved with being a parent,
and feel ready to do it.
Some 18 yr olds arent the partying type,
have been through a lot of tough
experiences, learned loads about life
through them, looked after lots of kids,
and feel ready for a baby.
Another woman might not have done much in
her life, learnt much and had little
experience of babies/kids until shes 28.
I would support both of them.
Morgan
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jessesgirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
Thanks: 16
Thanked:3
Posted: 06-30-07 16:41pm
sick_mama17
wrote:
To me it really depends on
the personalities and life experience of
the people ttc.
I was pregnant with my son at 16. I
wouldnt advise anyone to ttc that young.
Imo people should wait until their body
has finished growing itself,
have had lots of different experiences in
life so they are well educated on things,
accomplished some of what they want to do
in life,
get the whole clubbing and wild nights
with friends thing over,
know exactly how they are going to afford
a child and how to look after it,
have talked to lots of parents and babysat
for kids of all different ages - so they
know (on some level) the
responsibility-patience-sacrifices and
money (etc) involved with being a parent,
and feel ready to do it.
Some 18 yr olds arent the partying type,
have been through a lot of tough
experiences, learned loads about life
through them, looked after lots of kids,
and feel ready for a baby.
Another woman might not have done much in
her life, learnt much and had little
experience of babies/kids until shes 28.
I would support both of them.
Morgan
I agree. I know .l.o.t.s of people my age
that would not dream of getting pregnant
right now. Partying and their careers are
much more important to them.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 06-30-07 16:54pm
jessesgirl
wrote:
My husband and I have been
together for over 10 years with the
exception of 3 1/2 years in the middle of
those ten (long story if you don't already
know). Well we started trying to conceive
shortly after marriage. We want 4
children 2 or less years apart. I want to
be done child bearing in 5 1/2 years. I'm
23, he's 25. We want to be young enough
to enjoy our children and our
grandchildren. People use to tell me that
we were crazy and too young to try so soon
and that waiting was better. I never
believed them. I overheard some
co-workers talking in the lounge about how
they waited until their mid 30s to have
children and how it was "soooo much better
because you appreciate your children and
have more patience and can tolerate their
crying more than a younger parent." I was
so hurt b/c they don't even know. I went
back to my classroom and started crying
b/c they were so wrong and I just thought
about how much I love and appreciate Ava
and they had no clue. It's like they were
insulting me directly. They were actually
trying to talk a 27 year old co-worker out
of trying until her 30s. Anyway, the
point is neither is better, it's a
personal preference. If you strongly feel
like you want to conceive now, then do it,
there's no need to
wait.
I'm sure they were just talking about how
they feel. It's too bad that you felt sad
about it. You sound like such a great mom
to .Ava and .I'm sure you do have all the
patience in the world. You must have the
patience of a saint, doing what you do for
work.
I, personally have more patience now for
the crying, late nights, all nighters,
etc. That's just me.
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 06-30-07 17:45pm
i find it interesting that this whole
thread has been about women being too
young to have babies. what about women
that are older. is there an upper age
limit to having a baby? wasn't there a
woman who was 67 who had twins? one of
them didn't survive. is it ethical or
responsible to use fertility drugs and
medical technology to give birth at that
age? i just wonder how old is too old to
be having babies.
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 06-30-07 17:50pm
and another thing. what about men? is it
any better if a man fathers a child at an
old age. like larry king having kids
still when he's in his late 70s. and
should fertility clinics have an age
limit?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 06-30-07 18:15pm
I heard something about the risk of downs
syndrome happening in 1/4 of children born
to mothers of a certain older age, and I
thought it was 35, but maybe it's 40...
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 06-30-07 18:28pm
The risks increase in women over 35 and
they continue to increase with each year
that passes. I forget the actual number
in the statistic.
My daughter was a premie and it was very
traumatic, so .I didn't think .I wanted
more. She was not the easiest baby, so
that decided it. Then in my mid 20's .I
was ttc for a long time, and didn't, so .I
kind of gave up on it. Then .I got preggo
and .I'll be honest
.I had some mixed feelings about it.
Pregnant at 35?!! That is the age where
your risk goes up a lot for giving birth
to a baby with downs, spina bifida, etc.
My daughter was 16, and able to sit with
herself if .I wanted to go to dinner or
work a couple hours late. I had recently
scored the best job.
