Hi! This is my first post after finding a
forum that looks as though it may be able
to help me.
Please bear with me, I find it hard to put
how I feel into words.
I appear normal(well at least I think I do
)
but I feel like I am living by a different
set of rules to everyone else, playing
with a different deck of cards, not quite
gelling. It isn't one thing in particular
just lots and lots of little things and it
is slowly eating me away inside to the
point of thinking I'm going mad.
A few years ago I had a business - like a
fool I tried to be nice to my staff - big
mistake, they walked all over me. When I
eventually decided enough was enough they
downed tools and went funny on me - I
couldn't make sense of this as the
previous boss was an utter cow who paid
low wages and treated us all like dirt but
was very well respected and loved by them
all.
The above is just one small example of my
life - it happens day after day -looking
back I had it happen all the time at
school but I was just too young to realise
it.
I have very few friends - I'm not cool
enough, good enough, whatever it is. I
find it so hard to trust people,
especially other women who I find
vindictive and 2 faced - I feel that if I
was to behave in the way people
behave/have behaved towards me then I'd
get a lynching.
Is this making any sense? I feel like I am
detached, completely playing by a
different set of rules, rules that have to
remain stringent for me, but everyone else
can bend them as and when they see fit.
I'm sorry to sound self obsessed - that
truly isn't the case believe me. I have
had a good trawl through this forum before
baring my soul and you don't seem to have
any nasties amongst you good people - if
anything, I felt better that I wasn't
alone.
If anybody understands what I'm getting at
then please reply to this post or pm me as
I feel really alone right now. Worst thing
is I'm a nearly 35 year old mum and I just
feel utterly hopeless and worthless which
really isn't going to help my little girl,
I know. But I just cannot seem to snap out
of it.
Thank you.
|
freakier_darkali
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Aug 2006 Posts: 7 Location: uk
Posted: 08-02-07 14:49pm
maybe seek some counselling, it sounds
like it is a very long on going problem
and it is only getting worse and making
you depressed and you dont want that! i
mean i can understand what your saying and
in counselling you can talk and try to
discover why you feel like this, the
underlying causes.
Good luck.
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
)
but I feel like I am living by a different
set of rules to everyone else, playing
with a different deck of cards, not quite
gelling. It isn't one thing in particular
just lots and lots of little things and it
is slowly eating me away inside to the
point of thinking I'm going mad.
