When People Look At My Girlfriend .... Posted: 07-03-07 09:43am
I've been with this female for about 2
years now and have come across a problem
that now dominates my relationship. I am
at the point that I seriously don't know
what is wrong with me, and I'm seriously
looking for an explanation.
I can not handle anyone having attraction
towards my girlfriend...at all. When I
explain my issue to people, at 1st they
just assume that I'm just insecure or
posessive and I'm scared my girlfriend
will leave me. Not the case. I love her,
she loves me, the love is all there. I hae
zero thoughts of anyone taking her from
me, I truely believe her when she tells me
that she only wants me. When I'm in public
with my girlfriend and guys start looking
at her I get an immense feeling of
disgust, to the point I want to vomit. I
can't handle anyone telling me my
girlfriend is pretty, at all, male or
female. I have an immense feeling of
disgust, and I don't know where this comes
from. As a result of thise, I get
uncontrollably angry, to the point I get
into fights. The moment we step out the
house, I turn into a watchdog. I stare
every single male in the face that we walk
by, just to let him know byway of a look,
"don't dare look at her." And this is
cause...I HATE that feeling I get in my
stomach. It makes me feel terrible. I'm at
the point I refuse to go out in public
with her, she can go out, I'm just not
going out with her. I'm sick of it. It
haunts me. I'm afraid to have her meet
anymore people from my life because if
they ever gave her that look....the look
like..."she's hot". I'd have no choice but
to have instant, sincere hatred towards
them....and I am very expressive, I hold
nothing in, I always let my feelings be
known, good or bad.
I haven't gone outside with my female in
over 3 months, mind you we live together.
I've always had a bit of this with
previous relationships, but it has never
been this intense. The reason for the
intensity is that this girl is irregularly
attractive. Not like "really pretty". I
mean she can't go anywhere with out
everyone staring. It's absolutely
disgusting. And I don't live in a small
town either, I live in a major city, with
a lot of people, and she's still a big
deal. I've tried to break up with her
several times, but she won't let go. I
thought it would be best for my mental
health, but she will not let go. I don't
know what's wrong with me, or what to do.
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Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 07-04-07 09:16am
The fact you call her female may indicate
that YOU DO have insecurity issues.
Get some professional advice on how to
deal with it. It seems too be tearing you
up. Because you can not control the fact
other people will look, so you are gonna
have to find ways to deal with the feels
you let yourself have.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 07-05-07 10:47am
Well I can't say I know how you feel but
it sounds like you are jealous. I mean,its
only looking.even if a chic tells you
she's pretty,thats crazy that it bothers
you?Maybe you need to go to a psychologist
to get help and try and find out what your
problem is. . .I don't think by breaking
up with her that it would help.thats a
temporary solution to a log term
problem.what if you get with another chic
and its the same?are you going to break up
with her also?You will be lonely for the
rest of your life or end up with someone
that is not for you.I hope things get
better for you.
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sillyakchick
Moderator
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2690
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-05-07 10:58am
You seem to have an issue with jealousy
that is interfering withyour ability to
have a normal relationship with a woman.
It is unfair of you to punish her by not
going anywhere with her, or punish others
by fighting due to this unnatural level of
jealousy. The fact that you recognize
that this is not due to normal
relationship issues indicates that you
have a strong desire to change. I
reccomend some couples counseling where
you can get your issues out into the open.
Also, watch the movie ".Othello" with
Laurence Fishburne. It is a really good
look into the psyche of a jealous man, and
the comlications it can cause.
