Very Upset About Pregnancy Posted: 07-03-07 18:21pm
I am 26 years old and recently found out
that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I am
absolutely devasted to put it mildly. I
have been feeling extreemly saddened and
can't hlp but wish that I never ever got
into this situation.
I have a lovely relationship with my bf.
We have been together for 6 years. He is
somewhat excited about my pregnancy but I
am the exact opposite. However I do not
feel that we are ready mentally or
financially for a baby. I am really upset
at myself for this. I can't help but think
of how horrible it would b to bring a baby
into this worl which I was not able ot
care for the way that I wanted. On top of
this, I feel extremely guilty for not
wanting and loving the little person
inside o me the way I should.
I always thought that I would be married
first and could prepare for a family
addition but things have not worked out
that way. For this, I also fel so very
ashamed as many people in my community
will look down on me. I am terribly
frightened of the things people will say
and the judgments that will be passed.
Some may say just get over it but
unfortunately for me that is much easier
said than done. I have support from family
and friends but I have not found pace
within myself and it has been extremely
difficult. I spnd the majority of my
nights crying and wishing I was not in
this situation. I have tried talking to
some people about it but it is very
difficult.
Can somone please shed some advice or
offer some guidence. I am torn between the
decisions I need to make at this time.
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Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1492 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 81
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Hi Posted: 07-03-07 18:28pm
Hi Sweetie, First and
foremost...........you only have one life.
And you can not allow yourself to get
upset or hurt by what others say or do.
This is your life. So it didn't turn out
as planned.....you have today and
tomorrow. Yesterday is gone. You have the
power to control what and how you feel
about things people say oo do. Choose to
be happy. You are in a great relationship
and you are having a baby. So many people
out there would be happy to have only one
of those two things. But you have been
belssed with both. So, you may not can
give this baby what you think it
deserves.....but as long as you love and
care for it and provide what it needs, who
could ask for more? The hell with what
anyone else thinks....This is your
life.........Start thinking positive.
Hormones play tricks on us Girlfriend. You
are gonna be just fine. There are so many
of us out here who will be here for you!
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Jamms
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 4
Re: Hi Posted: 07-03-07 18:37pm
I understand, you are right, I could be in
a far worse situation. I suppose when you
have things all nicely planned out (and
when you're use to having life go your
way) things like this can be shocking. I
definitely need to work on staying
positive but I just find it so difficult
not to let those negative thoughts creep
in. By any chance do you have some
motivational/positive tips that I coul
use?
I know it sounds corney but I realise I'm
in a battle with myself and in the end it
will make or break me
|
Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 07-03-07 18:38pm
I am so sorry you're dealing with this.
You shouldn't worry about what others
think of you. Your life isn't their
business and you definitely shouldn't feel
ashamed because you aren't married. Many
children live in loving, two parent homes
with no marriage. I understand that it's
what you wanted to do first, but it isn't
necessarily the end of the world and it
doesn't make you less of a person. It
certainly won't make you less of a
parent.
Have you told your boyfriend how you feel?
|
Jamms
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 4
Posted: 07-03-07 19:47pm
Hi Jude,
I have told him how I feel and he can see
it as I don't like ot talk about the
pregnancy and when we do I just burst into
tears. I have tried asking him if perhaps
we can com up with a plan, something
feasable and logical as to ho we will
prepare and care for the little one but he
seems perplexed by my questions. I think
he feels as though he will "just be bale
to" care for a baby but I know there is
far more that goes into it than hopes and
dreams. neither of us have our own home
and that is definitely somethign that we
need to work on. So I know you asked a
simple question and I went around the bush
but yes I have explained how I feel. He
sees the positive in the situation
regardless, unlike myself.
|
Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 07-03-07 20:47pm
Well, I think what you feel is normal,
even expected. Congrats, you are one of
the few people who really take parenting
seriously. Caring for a child isn't
supposed to be a bowl of cherries, it's a
permanent responsibility. It's normal to
feel nervous or inadequate. But people
who take it seriously tend to be good,
loving parents and they produce polite,
happy, outgoing children. Your situation
may not be ideal now, but you have nearly
a year to plan things.
Do you and your boyfriend live together?
If you don't, you might want to think
about it (that is, if you were planning on
marrying each other anyway). Bring up
some issues to him that will make him
think about the responsibility more-where
the baby will sleep, etc. If he can be
concerned with you and be supportive in
*that* way (but it is good that he is at
least supportive of you otherwise), you
might not feel so helpless.
