Bed Times

kids need routine. it's good for them. it doesn't have to be overly strict but they should have a set bedtime so that they sleep well. i really hate video games and tv!! i think they should be severely limited, especially if the child has a weight problem. i don't think you are doing a kid any favours by not giving them any limits or boundaries. my mom teaches in an inner city school in a rough neighbourhood. a lot of the kids there are allowed to run wild because no one cares to watch them. when they come into her class she makes it clear to them that whatever their lives are like at home, that on her time they will be able to act like children and have rules and boundaries. they love it. they thrive on it. some of them don't want to go home at the end of the day. i don't think kids lives have to be regimented all the time but they do need some kind of stablity and consistency and predictability in their lives.

I try my best.. But when it is a new situation.. you can not just come in to someone else's home and boss them around. I watch him. I make him get up and do stuff. I did not let him play video games and be on the computer and stuff. I do not have a car.. so we do not go to the park. I am however waiting on a few things to go together so that I can start teaching him how to swim. When his mother is home at night it is not like I can go in there and say Hey.. Go to bed or else... I do however go in there and make him roll over and face the back of the couch.. but he will pretend to be asleep for hours if he had to he has done it so there is no point in that. I would really appreciate it if you would not say that I am not helping the situation.. I am cleaning up after three adults and a 10 year old that will not clean up after himself 2 jack russells if you have one you know how they are... in the trash up all night.. pacing barking at all hours of the night.. running away every chance they get... not to mention that the male has a skin condition that I have no clue what is wrong with him.. he has hot spots and loses his hair I think due to fleas. Today I made him. It is not like I have time cleaning up after everyone to do things with him. I am expected to do everything.. So please the next time that you want to make assumptions that I am not trying please.. don't I am I just have to get this pigpen of a house to living standards before I can work on the other problems...

sorry not being mean but this is not your child there for not your problem . you can only try so hard to help the child but if his mother is not gonna help him i dont think he is gonna listen to you.

whoa. i wasn't even talking about you. i was talking in general only. sorry if i came off that way but i didnt mean that at all. you asked for opinions so i gave mine. i don't remember saying anything about you or your family at all.

sounds like my little brother
trust me if hes used to it by ten... theres no changeing it now

Routine is very important. My brother and I had a bedtime all the way through highschool, though it was 9 pm by that time.

I'm sure she didn't mean it that way, and that kaerbear was using the universal "you" - as in, people in general.

The home environment that you (specifically you, the op) are in doesn't sound like a healthy environment for anyone. It also sounds like you are taking too much responsibility for it on yourself. If you can afford it, get an apartment with your boyfriend as soon as possible - take those poor undiciplined dogs with you and don't look back. The 10 yr old is the responsibility of his mother.

well this is how i was raised and i think it was a pretty good way of doing it.

10 y/o: 9PM during school year, 10:30PM during summer.
11 y/o: Same as above.
12-13 y/o: 11PM on the weekends and 10PM during the week.
14 y/o +: i took my curfew and bed time into my own hands as long as i made it to school the next day

and no matter what i was up by 8AM no matter the age. that is why i was allowed up so late, it was my parents way of making me responsible for my own actions during the day.

Food wise:
before my parents split up i was on a very healthy diet and was very physically fit, but after my dad got custody of me i went down the flusher with fast food and junk. i became severely overweight within the past couple of years and now that i'm pregnant and have the will to lose weight i just can't. i plan on being on the same diet as my mom after .Lukas is born and losing the 110 lbs that i'm over weight.

hope i've helped

I tried so hard to wake him. Like four times. He just ignored me or would answer me and say one minute.. when i was like uh no he just went back to sleep.. I should have said no games today.. he did not play any anyway... so.... but still it is ridiculous.

next time he doesn't want to get up threaten to trow a pot of cold water on him, if he still doesn't get up remind him that he'll have to sleep in that wet bed that night... if he still doesn't get up, actually do it! it worked with me every time

if it wasn't for that particular threat when i was in highschool i wouldn't have ever gotten up. i would stay up till 2AM on the computer and still get up for school no matter what... but of course i took a nap when i got home lol... but it worked... worked so well that i only missed school on real sick days. my parents knew that if i didn't care about it that i was .r.e.a.l.l.y sick

Have you thought of contacting the health department? If it is truly the welfare of this child you are concerned about, you may consider it. When you and your bf move out of that house, your efforts, however valiant, will probably not be long-lasting. It does not sound like a healthy environment for a child. The mother sounds like she needs some education.

My fear is that by taking all of this on yourself, you are going to go nuts fighting an uphill battle against habits which have been a long time in the making, and I think it will cause you much frustration and stress. So in additioin to all the mess and irritation, you will have your own issues to deal with.

This sounds like an awful situation. Sorry you are having to deal with it. And that poor kid!