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2timearound
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 28 Location: ,
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Im Preg
Posted: 07-03-07 22:11pm
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Hi im vicki im 17 and preganet with my 2nd
baby my first one I gave up for adoption
im keeping this one.. Im due on augest 23
and I cant wait .. Im living with the
babys father the love of my life.. I would
do anything for him even though he can get
abusive... But when ur parents kicked me
out there wasnt a whole lot I can do but
if anyone wants to talk or if I cant talk
to someone let me know
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 07-03-07 23:02pm
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Last edited by young Girl on 07-04-07 19:48pm; edited 1 time in total
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
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Posted: 07-04-07 05:51am
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hi vicki, welcome to the forum and
congrats on the pregnancy. wow. i'm a
little bit worried about what both of you
said about your boyfriends. i think you
really need to take it seriously. no
amount of abuse is safe or acceptable and
you really shouldn't tolerate it from
anyone, much less the man who is supposed
to love and take care of you. now that
you have a baby on the way, that needs to
be your number one priority. you really,
really need to think about how your
boyfriends' behaviour could affect your
baby. you need to read about and talk to
your doctor about shaken baby syndrome and
make sure that your boyfriends get
educated about it too. all it takes is a
moment of frustration and anger to shake a
baby and once the damage is done there is
no going back. becoming a parent is
.n.o.t easy and there will be a lot of
challenges in the future for all of you.
you need to talk to someone and figure out
how you are going to cope with the stress
of being parents. i really hope more of
the ladies on here will back me up on this
because it is really important that you
understand the seriousness of it. your
boyfriends need to understand that it's
grow up time and things need to change
when it comes to how they handle their
tempers so they don't end up hurting the
family they are there to protect. i
really wish you all the best and i hope
everything turns out great for you. i'm
just worried about you or your baby
getting hurt so i hope you will take what
i have said to heart. okay? good luck!!

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2timearound
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 28 Location: ,
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Posted: 07-04-07 19:54pm
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Yea the most i have ever had is bruises
and they have been where no one can see
them...
Darrick dose it over the little thing
like me not being awake when he gets home
from work at 11:30. if i try and walk away
it only makes things worse so i just
normally sit there and take it.. i wish i
could say that when i found out i was preg
it stoped but it didnt it dosent happen as
often and he's only hit me in the belly
once...
Yes i know its not safe for me and my
baby but it beats living on the streets
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 07-04-07 20:03pm
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| 2timearound
wrote: | Yea the most i have ever had
is bruises and they have been where no one
can see them...
Darrick dose it over the little thing
like me not being awake when he gets home
from work at 11:30. if i try and walk away
it only makes things worse so i just
normally sit there and take it.. i wish i
could say that when i found out i was preg
it stoped but it didnt it dosent happen as
often and he's only hit me in the belly
once...
Yes i know its not safe for me and my
baby but it beats living on the
streets |
yeah. its a tough thing to go through
dont let anybody judge you though
and dont let yourself get hurt too bad
there comes a point in time when enough is
enough ya know? its hard but youve gotta
make a decision for yourself
and you will be fine
you sound like a strong person
stay strong girl and if you vere need
anything let me know
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
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Posted: 07-04-07 22:03pm
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living on the streets or being beaten are
not the only two options you know. you
need to be more resourceful if you are
going to be responsible for another life,
your baby's. if your partner will go as
far as to hit you in the stomach while you
are pregnant what is he going to do to
your baby when it cries all night and
doesn't understand "be quiet"? you have a
choice whether to be there or not, your
baby doesn't have that choice. you need
to rethink things now because you are
going to be a mother and your priorities
need to shift away from what you want to
what your baby needs. one of the things
your baby needs is to be protected. i'm
not judging you. my own father was an
abusive drunk when i was a baby and my mom
stayed with him until i was 3. if you
think having a baby is going to make
anything better you're wrong because he is
still hitting you when he knows his own
baby is inside you. if your baby is hurt
by him whose fault will it be?
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sandylandsn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Metairie Louisiana
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Pregnant And Abused
Posted: 07-04-07 22:48pm
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I know someone just like you, my sister.
She's 32 and her children are now 12 and
10, and her piece of garbage husband (who
looks great on paper-good job, nice house)
decided about 3 years ago to start hitting
her. He would go as far as pulling her
out of bed at 1:00 in the morning and
start hitting her (this is after he woke
his children to watch!). If he is hitting
you now, your situation could very easily
escilate to something far more dangerous
for you or your unborn child. There are
way too many options out there to keep
yourself in that situation. I know it's
your first love and I know how deep it
runs, but I also know that my first love
cheated on me and gave me herpes( he was
the only person I had ever slept with).
My current love and myself have been
together for 8 years. When I got pregnant
with our daughter, I had to be sooo
careful because stress will make me have
an outbreak. If I were to have my
daughter vaginally (which I did) and have
any sores, she could have become blind.
Some problem I dated 7 years before then
could have made my baby blind! You are
both young and inexperienced in life. I
know you want to be independent and not
have to answer to anyone but yourself but
you have to realize how dangerous your
situation is. Do you know what the #1
cause of death for a pregnant woman is?
Homicide, usually by the baby's father. I
don't mean to scare you, but you need to
believe in yourself and if you believe, it
will make you a stronger person both for
your baby and yourself. If you enable him
to keep hitting you, he will... just like
my sister!
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 07-04-07 23:23pm
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honey
dont listen to people who dont know the
whols story
they dont know you and they DONT know
their life
i think alot of girls are trying to help
but they just dont understand
you know what i meen
do whats best for you and if you truly
need to get out there are people who can
help
stay strong for your baby
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2timearound
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 28 Location: ,
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,
Posted: 07-04-07 23:50pm
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yea i know its not a good place to be but
im scared ,,,,, hes family is so good to
me and its so hard i just wish my parents
would be suported but all they think is im
some screw up that is preg. a 2nd time i
dont know wat i am going to do but thanks
for all of you that are posting it really
makes me think
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
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Posted: 07-05-07 01:09am
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i hope you don't feel picked on. it's
just concern for you and your baby. i
hope you will still come by here and share
because there are a lot of women with
experience that you can talk to if you
need to. we aren't here to judge you or
anything, it's just the thought of someone
hurting you or your baby. i hope
everything turns out great for you.
i'm just putting some information up if
you happen to be interested or need
someone else to talk to.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
http://www.ndvh.org/help/ind
ex.html
Illinois Coalition Against Domestic
Violence
801 S. 11 th Street
Springfield, IL 62703
(217) 789-2830 Fax: (217) 789-1939
Website: www.ilcadv.org
Email: ilcadv@ilc
adv.org
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*star*
Moderator
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1804 Location: ,
Thanks: 22
Thanked:24
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Posted: 07-05-07 08:30am
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No one is picking on this girl or judgeing
her. The problem is, is that she is
pregnant, and in an abusive relationship.
.N.E.V.E.R is it ok for a man to hit a
woman. Especially if she is pregnant.
Not even if the girl thinks that she
deserved it. It's just not right.
Please don't justify your boyfriends
actions. If you have a problem with his
violence and you are living with his
family, then go to his parents about it.
They will probably not be ok with the fact
that their son is an abusive boyfriend.
Please stay safe for your sake and for
your baby.
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2timearound
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 28 Location: ,
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Posted: 07-05-07 09:40am
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I dont think anyone is picking on me or
judging me. i know you all are concerned
and i am so thankfull to have people that
care its so diffrent... Me and darrick
live on our own just so everyone knows..
Thanks to all of you for posting its very
helpfull so please keep posting!
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Preggy2007
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 53 Location: Oklahoma
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Posted: 07-05-07 14:39pm
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Honey, let me tell you something. I have
been hit by one man....and I vowed that no
man will ever hit me again. It's hard to
get out of.....exspecially if you love the
person. But think about it. He hit you in
your stomach....even if it was only that
once. You have to start thinking about
that little baby too. You should never
take a man hitting you. He never has the
right or a good reason too. All I can say
is that what a young child grows up around
and what they see...it affects them. In
some cases they also become abusive. If he
hits you....who's to say that the child
will be any different? It's hard to get
out of exspecially when you have no where
to go....but to be honest there's always
somewhere. A friends maybe...there's even
certain types of housing for women in your
position. You just have to take it one
step at a time.
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8345 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 186
Thanked:15
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Posted: 07-05-07 14:50pm
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I understand that you're scared and don't
know what to do. But if you're planning on
keeping this baby, you need to start
thinking like a mother. If he's showing
violence now towards you, he'll probably
be violent towards your baby. As a mother,
it's your responsibility to protect your
child from harm whenever you're able.
Unless he goes into anger management, he
will probably not get better. In fact,
he'll probably get worse after the baby's
born. Babies take a lot of
patience, and it doesn't sound like he'll
be able to handle it without resorting to
violence.
If he's hitting you, you need to leave.
That's all there is to it. Just like you
need to protect your baby, you also need
to protect your baby's mother. That baby
is relying on you to keep him/her safe and
warm inside your body - protect your body
with everything you have. You can contact
your local women's shelter if you need a
place temporarily. Contact your friends,
his parents, anyone you know - and find
out what your resources are. Babies
require a lot, and you need to get the
ball rolling as soon as possible.
Good luck.
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2timearound
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 28 Location: ,
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I Talked to Him
Posted: 07-05-07 23:27pm
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I talked to him today and really got
emotional about it i think what i said
really got through to him and all night he
was really easy to get a long with so
maybe but as of right now imnot going to
leave him my baby needs a father i have
grown up without one and i hate it i dont
want it to be this way for my baby...
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hebert1063
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Maine
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You Still Have Time...
Posted: 07-06-07 08:25am
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Hi there.....My name is Erica and I am now
29 years old. I got pregnant when I was
19 by someone who I thought was the love
of my life....he wasn't abusive at first
but then became abusive and like you- I
called him on it and he would cry and
apologize and swear he would never do it
again...repeatedly...before I got preg I
would defend myself but when I was preg I
covered my stomach and he threw a baseball
cap at me and the visor hit my stomach and
I had a 7 in long bruise across my very
pregnant belly...I was stupid to stay with
this guy, but I loved him and was very
naive to his manipulations...so here I am
10 years later with 2 kids from him and I
do not let him see them - not for the
abuse- but he doesn't work, is in trouble
with the law, etc....So I work a full time
job and it saddens me that they are 8 and
6 now and I miss so much because I have to
do it all on my own so just think about
the future- my girls have seen many fights
and heard him say horrible things and kids
do not need to see that, I put him BEFORE
my children and luckily nothing severe
happened but I still should have left long
before I did. I do however have a
wonderful bf now and he helps me with the
girls....I am not judging- just trying to
help with an experience story and in 10
years your thinking will be completely
different than it is now....trust me. I
hope all goes well with you and your baby
but the chances of him stopping are slim
because abusive behavior weather verbal,
physical or emotional does not go away
without some sort of help...
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Azure777
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 167 Location: gloucester city NJ
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Posted: 07-06-07 08:31am
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*claps* well said herbert1063! i applaud
you in your achievement of kicking that
douche bag to the curb!
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hebert1063
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Maine
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Thanks Azure777!!
Posted: 07-06-07 08:46am
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Ya me too.......but it took A LOT of
strength because he wouldn't go away...and
short of calling the police there was
nothing I could do...so I called the
police....I love my kids more than
anything.....just thinking about how their
situation was then makes me sick that I
let it happen.....NO abuse is okay, I
remember when he would hit me he would
hold me after because I would hide in the
corner and he would say "see what you make
me do??" as he is crying- oh if I could
just kill one person and get a way with
it...they shoot you down, they kill your
self esteem, its not right EVER!
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Azure777
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 167 Location: gloucester city NJ
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Posted: 07-06-07 09:39am
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how bout instead of killing him you just
find a way to shoot him and not let him
get help till the last possible second...
now that would be a good payback, not that
it would be right... but it would cause
more emotion and physical damage that
would at least measure up to a day of pain
caused by him
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hebert1063
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Maine
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Lol
Posted: 07-06-07 09:43am
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Hey, I like your way of thinking!!! Oh
believe me he will get his - he is now
with a real hooker who has a daughter that
she can barely take care of and he just
got her pregnant- for the second time- he
left her the first time and she had to pay
for the abortion herself and she took him
back and now she is preg again- so ya what
goes around comes around and i just want
to sit back and watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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