When I had my 1st child, co-sleeping was
encouraged. It was thought then that it
promoted a healthy relationship between
parents and baby. It was also thought
that baby would pick up on the natural
rhythms of the parent's breathing and thus
lessen the likelihood of .S.I.D.S. Flash
forward, five years later the "experts"
have reversed their opinion and state that
co-sleeping is not reccommended unless the
baby is placed in an adjacent co-sleeping
unit.
What are your thoughts? Have you tried
co-sleeping with your infant? Do you
reccommend doing so? How long should a
child spend in his or her parent's bed?
When should a child be expected to sleep
in his/her own bed?
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mc4ever02
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Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3636 Location: Orlando, FL Usa
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Posted: 07-05-07 11:37am
I have always been very weary of this. I'm
scared to death that I would smother them
somehow.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 07-05-07 11:46am
Co sleeping is actually promoted depending
on who you talk to. My ped. doesn't have
an opinion either way. He says that if
both parents are ok with it, than it's
fine. He says if one parent is against it
than the other should respect their
decision and not do it, as it will cause
issues within the marriage.
I will occasionally put .Jaylon in bed
with me in the morning. Sometimes he wakes
with the sun and that is a bit early, so
.I'll bring him in bed for an hour more of
sleep, but it's not the norm.
I don't co sleep, and the only reason .I
don't is because .I don't want a 1, 2, 3
or 8 year old in my bed, and that is what
happens. The kid never wants to go to
their own bed, because it's nice and safe
with mom and dad. I do have my son in a
bassinet beside my bed and dread the day
he no longer fits in it, and .I have to
put him in his crib down the hall. I will
probably crash out in the bed in his room
for a while.
That is my issue, not his.
Believe it or not, when you have a baby in
bed with you, you sleep a lot lighter, you
are aware of your body and .I think it
would be highly unlikely that a mother
would roll over onto the baby. A daddy on
the other hand......may not have those
instincts.
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 07-05-07 12:02pm
this is a tough one because i know my mom
slept with all of her kids in her bed and
a lot of moms all over the world do so
also. but when you are told by someone
that you are doing something that is
dangerous to your child - and i am deathly
afraid of sids - how can you go against it
with a healthy conscience? (rhetorical
question). i'm going to be putting my
baby's crib next to our bed because we
aren't getting a bassinet (our house is
just too small to buy everything). so i
will feel a lot better knowing the baby is
close to me and i can carry the baby all i
want when he or she isn't sleeping.
someone just said the other day that we
are the only mammals that put our babies
away from us when they sleep. i kind of
wonder if the statistics are being skewed
somewhat by people who are behaving
irresponsibly and that the medical
professionals will err on the side of
caution to save a small percentage of
babies. you can't really tell people that
if you drink or smoke or are a heavy
sleeper you can't sleep with your baby but
everyone else can. people wouldn't listen
to it the warnings then.
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*star*
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Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1804 Location: ,
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I Have a Question On This??? Posted: 07-05-07 12:19pm
So I just want to make sure I understand
co-sleeping.
Is it considered co-sleeping when the baby
is on the regular bed next to or in
between the parents? Is is co-sleeping
when you have a bassinet that the side
folds down so the baby is on the same
level as the real bed?
I am just curious, because the second
instance is what I plan on doing when I
have children.
My sister in law on the other hand sleeps
with my 3 month old niece in the bed.
They have a king size bed and she sleeps
in the middle and puts my niece on the
edge with one of those baby guards that go
under the mattress that keeps them from
falling out (sorry don't know the name of
it).
It kinda makes me nervous to sleep like
that, but I guess each person is
different.
DH and I only have a queen size bed, and
we have a hard time not rolling over on
the dog, so I know that we wouldn't be
putting a baby in with us, but rather in
one of the bassinets that fold down.
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 07-05-07 12:23pm
that's another thing i didn't even
mention. our cat sleeps in the bed with
us and she likes to sleep on top of people
because they are warm. i wouldn't take
the chance of her trying to plop her fat
arse down on my warm little baby. the
crib is the safest place for our baby
because the cat is too heavy to jump that
high.
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8346 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
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Posted: 07-05-07 12:26pm
I co-sleep with my daughter. It works for
us. I only feel safe about it, though,
because I am an extremely light sleeper. I
wake up pretty much every time she rolls
over. I would not recommend it to others
unless they felt completely confident that
they would know where their child was at
all times.
The risk is pretty extreme. It's
definitely not for everyone.
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2701
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Posted: 07-05-07 12:36pm
I slept with my children in the bed
between my husband and myself until they
stopped needing to nurse in the night.
Then I moved them into a cradle in my room
until they rolled over. Then they moved
to the crib intheir own room. This made
those night time feedins tolerable,
because all i had to do was lift up my
shirt and fall back asleep. I think that
children should be sleeping in their own
room at least by the time they are a year,
but I had them there by about 6 months.
having a child sleeping in your bed is
hard on the old sex life. As far as
rolling over on the baby, I never did that
or worried about it too much. I just made
sure there wasn't any fluffy bedding in
our bed, like my down pillow top.
Star-Co-sleeping means that baby is in bed
with you, unless you use a piece of baby
equipment called a co-sleeper-it is a
little thing that attaches to your bed and
gives baby her own area to sleep in.
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2701
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Posted: 07-05-07 12:39pm
kaerbear
wrote:
that's another thing i
didn't even mention. our cat sleeps in
the bed with us and she likes to sleep on
top of people because they are warm. i
wouldn't take the chance of her trying to
plop her fat arse down on my warm little
baby. the crib is the safest place for
our baby because the cat is too heavy to
jump that
high.
That is so funny. I can just see a fat
butted kitty trying to get inthe crib!
lol! I worry about my cat doing that now
that my baby is in her crib and is alone.
Mine probably could jump into her crib,
and she also likes to sleep on top of
people, that is when she's not out hunting
for birds/snakes/squirrels/bats/mice to
leave beheaded on my bedroom floor!
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OctoberBaby06
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 4617 Location: , US
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Posted: 07-05-07 14:19pm
I don't have anything against cosleeping
but I personally wouldn't be able to do
it. I roll all over when I sleep &
since .I've had .Kaylee .I've been such a
deep sleeper, I don't hear or feel
anything once .I'm out.. Shane is the same
way so co sleeping definately wouldn't
work for us!
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10821 Location: ,
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Posted: 07-05-07 14:35pm
i don't really "get" co-sleeping. i love
my baby with everything i have, i don't
even like to be away from him for an hour.
however, i can't sleep with him.
first, i've tried napping with him and it
just doesn't work out. i put him on nick's
side of the bed and he wiggles around
until he's pressed up against me, then he
buries his face into me or under my arm or
something.
second, it's such a light sleep that i
would never feel rested if that was the
only kind of sleep i ever got.
third, when i was pregnant my boss was
dealing with issues trying to get her
7-year
old out of their bed and into their
own.
how do you ever get your child into their
own bed? after spending 2 years snuggling
with mommy and daddy, why would they want
to go sleep all alone in their own room?
i have to assume there's no spontaneous
pre-bed or early morning sex either.
we had finn in a pack n play in our room
from birth until about 2 1/2 months. i
wanted him in our room until at least 4
months but nick wasn't sleeping well and
he's the one who had to get up for work
every morning so we moved finn to his crib
in his own room. he's always been an
awesome sleeper but he slept even better
when he was in his own room. i think our
noises (snoring, tossing and turning, etc)
disturbed him when he was in our room.
personally i think the longer you put off
putting them in their own room, the harder
it will be to make that transition.
edit: i forgot to add that i have no
problem with people who co-sleep, as long
as they're doing it safely.
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Tylanas
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Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 07-05-07 14:46pm
Whoever had th suggestion of the crib at
the same level as the bed... is the crib
pushed up against the bed and held in
place somehow? That sounds really neat,
because then the baby has a bed but he's
close to mommy and daddy.
I know the risk of sids is increased by
blankets and cushions, so having the baby
actually sleeping on the firm baby
mattress and having his own blanket is
really nice. And for feeding, you just
scoop him into your arms, feed, and then
roll him back over lol.
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AyaMiyaki
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Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8346 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
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Posted: 07-05-07 15:02pm
Well, I know that when I started
co-sleeping it was a complete accident.
Alyvia was a few weeks old and was nursing
every few hours. I was completely
exhausted and could hardly keep my eyes
open while I fed her. I started to get
paranoid that .I'd fall asleep and lose my
grip on her, so I started nursing her in
bed. Suddenly everything became so much
easier. She started sleeping better, I
started sleeping better...
10 months later, we still co-sleep. It
does get frustrating, because when she's
tired it pretty much means I have to go to
bed whether I want to or not. And
sometimes when .I'm tired, she's not - so
she's chattering to herself and crawling
everywhere (and I keep grabbing her ankle
to prevent her from crawling right off the
bed) and yanking on the cord to my heating
pad, and chewing on the tv remote, and...
With her personality though, I really feel
co-sleeping is beneficial to her. She's
always been a high-intensity baby, and I
think that the closeness calms her and
makes her feel safe. I don't really regret
bringing her into our bed, but I don't
think .I'll be doing it with our next one.
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*star*
Moderator
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1804 Location: ,
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Thanked:24
Posted: 07-05-07 16:02pm
Eiri
wrote:
Whoever had th suggestion of
the crib at the same level as the bed...
is the crib pushed up against the bed and
held in place somehow? That sounds really
neat, because then the baby has a bed but
he's close to mommy and daddy.
I know the risk of sids is increased by
blankets and cushions, so having the baby
actually sleeping on the firm baby
mattress and having his own blanket is
really nice. And for feeding, you just
scoop him into your arms, feed, and then
roll him back over
lol.
My best friend had this bassinet that was
right up to the edge of her bed and one
side of it was folded down or something so
that the baby was on the same level as the
mothers bed. She would just have to roll
over to pick her baby up. I thought it
was the neatest thing.
newer studies actually suggest that safe
co sleeping reduces the risk of sids.
co sleeping can increase the risk of sids
if the parent is a smoker, under the
influence of drugs or alcohol, and also if
the parent is severely over weight. they
don't specify (which is often the case in
the medical world) to err on the side of
caution.
I can take it or leave it. rowan sleeps
with me sometimes, but she can also sleep
in her crib with little extra hassle. it
is one of the nicest feelings to have her
little warm body close by. it is very
bonding. I fall asleep with her little
hand holding onto my fingers or her tucked
in my arms. I’m also sure if I was a
baby that is where I would want to be,
safe and warm with mommy.
the downside is the quality of sleep, it's
light and I don't feel fully rested. I
also have a real hard time falling asleep
with her in bed with me. I’d much
rather take her nap with her in bed, then
try to get my full nights rest with her
beside me.
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ladylee70
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Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Posted: 07-05-07 19:25pm
I really believe I developed severe
insomnia when I co-slept with Nathan. I
was so exhausted getting him out of his
bassinet to nurse every two hours, that I
finally just had him fall asleep next to
me. I became hypervigilant and really
never slept. I actually forgot how to
sleep for a few years and needed medicinal
help - horrible, I know. Will I do it
again with this child? Probably. This
time, however, I have already purchased a
co-sleeper to put into bed with us. The
baby will be between us and we have a king
size bed so there is plenty of room. This
co-sleeper helps to prevent us from
rolling over on him, so perhaps I can get
a little more sleep. I really wanted that
bassinet that is right next to our bed but
those are so expensive, even buying them
used. If after a few weeks we feel like we
can really use it, I will bite the bullet
and get one.
Honestly, even if I didn't co-sleep with
Nathan I probably would have still ended
up with a insomnia. When he went into his
own crib at around 3 to 4 months, I was
constantly listening to him throughout the
night wondering if he was still breathing.
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bernibaby86
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 186 Location: Pennsylvania
Posted: 07-05-07 20:47pm
I've been co-sleeping with my daughter who
is almost 4 months old. my b/f would get
paranoid at times when she is in the bed
with sleeping. But it was the only way i
could get her to fall asleep when she was
born. She's been gettin better now sleepin
in the crib. Once she wakes up in the
early mornings I just pick her up put her
in the bed with me to get some extra
sleep. i cradle her in my arms when its my
b/f and I in bed but if its just
me...she'll sleep on the other side
between and a pillow. i give her just
enough room to roll over on her side.
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Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3791 Location: South East, England
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Posted: 07-15-07 14:33pm
When i was in hospitla the midwife asked
me if i would be comfortable with
co-sleepign and said that if .Mika's
having a particularly unsettled night then
co-sleeping might be a good idea to calm
her down and settle her, i've had the odd
night with ehr next to me and in honesty i
feel so much safter with her next to me
than on the other side of the room
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Bratz72
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jun 2006 Posts: 433 Location: ,
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Posted: 07-15-07 23:28pm
My daughter never slept in a crib...I had
one for her but i was too afraid for her
to sleep in it so I never bothered to set
it up ...only downside too it was weening
her off sleeping with me and into her own
bed ...she slept with me until she was
almost 3
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kaerbear
Most Diplomatic Poster
Joined: 10 Apr 2007 Posts: 1557 Location: ,
Posted: 07-16-07 00:24am
we set up our baby's crib in the bedroom
today (yay, finally). there's about a 2
foot space between the crib and the bed,
just enough for me to walk in. there's no
room in our little bed to have a baby
sleeping with us. we whack each other in
the head half the time trying to get comfy
at night. i guess having baby right
beside me in the crib will be reassuring
enough. maybe during the day when Rich is
at work i can bring the baby into bed with
me, but i'm still not sure if it's a good
idea or not for me to sleep with the baby.
i'm usually a super light sleeper, but
who knows how tired i will be once the
baby is here.
That is my issue, not his.
