I Duno If He Really Wants to Stay... Posted: 03-06-04 18:02pm
Hey. My boyfriend and I have been
toghether...2 years now. I got a baby
girl comin in may. Im young, yes but I
love him...But lately things have been
sucky. I dont know if he really wants to
stay or just wanted me for the fun. I
catch him in stupid lies, and we argue
over stupid stuff. I hate when he goes
out with his friends, but I know he needs
it. This is a problem I have, I know, cuz
he prolly just needs more freedom than I
give him...But I dont think he realizes
the responsibility we got coming...
love mol
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-06-04 19:34pm
It is hard to say. Maybe he does realize
the responsability coming, so he is trying
to party all that he can now. But that
really sucks, because you cannot do
that!
Lying is a terrible thing, I would try to
put a stop to that. Even little "white"
lies make it impossible to trust someone.
And it makes getting along hard too,
because you are constantly mad.
And suddenly having all of this
responsability does suck! But there is
nothing you can do about that. Babies
are such a blessing, but they are a lot of
hard work too. It is a 24/7 job with no
pay. And if he isn't helping you get
through this, it does make you wonder what
will happen when you have the baby. He
could get 10 times better, or he could get
a lot worse. My only advice is to try to
sit down and talk to him and work things
out. Explain to him that you do not like
it when he goes out, but you are willing
to negotiate. I mean, you cannot go to
the bars and stuff when you are pregnant,
but there is no reason you cannot go
shopping (even just window shopping), or
to a movie or out for coffee with a
friend. And when you two have the baby
you have to continue compromising. This
will help you two a lot in the long run.
But on the other hand if he does not want
to stay it is not doing either of you any
good having him there. I absolutely
cannot stand people staying together just
for the kids, because it just makes life
miserable for everyone involved. So, as
hard as it will be, give him the option.
Tell him he is either with you 100% or he
is not there at all. I mean, he can be
there for the baby, but you two just not
be together. Yeah that is a horrible
thing to think about, but it is the right
decision.
Well, even having said everything above,
really all you can do is just flat out ask
him what is on his mind. Do not make any
harsh or sudden decisions, but do not try
to kid yourself either. Good luck!
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pInKpAnThEr
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 626 Location: Indiana
Posted: 03-07-04 01:23am
Thank you soo much sweetie!! You got a
lot of insite..
love mol
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 03-10-04 06:21am
You are welcome, I really hope you two can
work things out. Situations like that
really stink, especially with you going
through it pregnant. I am so sorry you
have to go through this.
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lost
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Mar 2004 Posts: 5
Dont Know If He Really Wants to Stay Posted: 03-23-04 11:51am
I know first hand what it is like to feel
that way. I go through those feelings now
with my husband of ten years. Mine for
different reasons though. The only thing
you can do is talk to him and pray. If it
is meant to be it will work out and if not
you and your baby will still be ok. As
long as you remember to stay focused on
what is trully important here and that is
you and your baby. Your boyfriend may
change after the baby comes or once you
stand firm with what you would like to
happen with your relationship. Dont stay
together just because of the baby but dont
just throw it away either. Maybe your
boyfriend is just dealing with the
situation the best he knows how right now.
Maybe he is a little nervous.
