I Dont Know What Is Wrong With Me.... Posted: 07-05-07 17:33pm
im 20 (almost 21) years old. i used to be
a very fun kid and had lots of friends and
girls were so easy for it was pitifull. i
had a lot of fun and i was loose and i
lived in realm of freedom. i used to be
happy.
for a long time now ive been very
depressed (truth is i was always depressed
but now its not there for attention...)
and ive had a lot less succes with girls
(actually i havent had full inter-course
with someone in nearly two years this
august, but who's counting...). i mean i
had been with girls to a certein level,
but the moment it starts getting in a
certein direction, i mess up and it all
ends really weird. im even lonlier now
since recently i had an incident with the
person im or were inlove with, who was my
very close friend, and now i feel empty
becuse we dont talk and i hate her for
various things now. i have friends and
when im happy im surrounded with people, i
shine like a star. only that an ocasion
like that is very rare, and most of the
time im just a person who's there, very
non-socializing, or, i talk and socialize,
but i dont like 85% of the people im
talking to, becuse they are very
super-ficial.
what the hell is wrong with me? im
feeling like there is a disease of fear
and self loathing that disperssed all over
my body, neutralizing my nerves and
emotional sytems to the point of
numbness.
please help and tell me what you think of
me, i'd really apreciate it
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 07-05-07 17:38pm
well hi
my name is suzy and im a very sown to
earth real person
i saw the word medical question so i
clicked on your post
lol
you sound really upset right now
so whats up
if ya need to vent let it out
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kobi666
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: israel
Posted: 07-05-07 18:04pm
well... im very frustrated and i dont know
what to do with myself.
i mean im keeping myself busy, and again i
have friend, good ones i think.
but its just that every time i see a
couple loving each other or a cute girl i
think i can like i freeze most of the
time. i start to "choke" and i cant really
be myself most of the time. im very upset
in situations where im not the most
"shiny" person around. whenever i get
envious it starts killing me inside and i
start aking myself if i should die or even
screaming inside my head "kill me, kill me
now". i dont know what to do and i
recently found that im a narcicist, which
means im inlove with myself, which is
true, but leads me to the question "why
isnt there anybody else who loves me too?
doesnt anyone want a pieace of me?" im a
very sraightforward person, in many cases
too straight foward which often shocks
people from seeing me in the first place.
in my terms , im a walking mess of
complaxes that are overly examined by
myself, i have no self esteem nad my self
image is very low and vague. i have
vented. please help
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 07-05-07 18:26pm
well you know heres what i think
like i said im very starightforward too so
here it goes
the world is full of selfish suckers and
most people dont respect straight up down
to earth people anymore? you know what i
meen?
personally i wouldnt blame the girl thing
on yourself
girls these days are so vain and health
forum
then you have your sluts
but most of the time a
hnest,smart,open,real girl is hard to find
because there are so few of them left!
dont think you should die
i know how u feel
though sometimes i get pissed at myself
for the little caca
your lucky because you said you have good
friends
i have none
like literally im not kidding
ever since january when i dropped out and
found out i was pregnant theyve all
abandoned me
all except one- who smokes so much pot he
doesnt even realize i exsist anymore
i rely on the people on thsi forum to talk
to because i seriously talk to nobody else
anymore
i think maybe your stressed. ok you ARE
stressed. and thats not a fun thing to
deal with
but your so YOUING!
go to a club
a bar
a party
live life and dont regret it!
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kobi666
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: israel
Posted: 07-05-07 18:31pm
i used to live like that! a lot! then
something got stuck
i have no other word for it. im just
stuck
i have 0% creativity 80% of the time
i cant dance becuse... well i presume the
same origins as my other problems....
mainly im just ashamed of myself most of
the time, and im fighting it back only
that the fight kinda makes ME disapear
infront of people and even myself. i dont
feel like myself nor do i know myself
anymore.i am a floting value swirling
around my oversized, self presumed, high
conciousness.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 07-05-07 18:33pm
did something traumatic happen to you
recently? you lost someone? thats probably
why this is happening
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kobi666
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: israel
Posted: 07-05-07 18:37pm
there have been many traumas and various
unhappy times in the last few years. many
things that make me even fear woman. many
stabs in the back. to less signs of true
affection. add that to other self esteem
and image problems and , vouala! me!
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 07-05-07 18:41pm
well that might be it
women are evil
we are mind terrorists
and truly hurt peoole without even knowing
it and sometimes without even careing!
i dont think your depressed or anything so
dont let anyone tell you thats what this
is
i think youir just...normal...
anormal person going through some caca
your sad
am i right?
you are very very sad and its makeing you
hate yourself
everyone does this. at some point in time
everyone hates who they are
the thing is
youve gotta find a point in your life
where you are happy
without wanting anything
just living...and not careing about jack
and jill sittin in the park makeing out or
the couples holding hands at the store
because you dont need a woman to make you
happy
i know how u feel
though sometimes i get pissed at myself
for the little caca
