I've been dating my gf for about a year
and a half. shes now 19 turning 20 soon
and im 22. I havent had much sexual
experience before we started dating but I
had some, she did not. I took her
virginity over a year ago and everytime we
attempt sex it hurts just as bad as the
1st time. The pain is so bad for her that
she rarely ever agrees to have sex with me
and when we do she asks me to hurry up and
finish. We can only do it in one position,
she wont let me enter any other way. We
have to have sex with her on top and I
have to do all the work, while she
basically clamps her teeth together and
prays for it to be over.. My gf is a
smaller person, around 5'4 and normal
weight for a girl her size, im around 5'9
and normal weight. I defnitly think her
body size has something to do with it, but
I think there probably much more. On top
of this, my gf seems to be one of those
people who are just not interested in sex,
she never initiates it, although i
understand why, she never masterbubates
not even while growing up. The only thing
she enjoys is having me rub her area or me
give her oral, but no insertion at all. I
bought her a very slender sex toy and she
never uses it unless i help her with it
and she says she gets no enjoyment out of
it. Me on the otherhand, I have an
extremely high sex drive, I masterbate at
least 2-3 times dailey, I watch porn. I'd
be on top of my gf all the time if she
would let me. The only thing we do
regularaly that gets me through is she
gives me oral. But im going crazy I need
sex, I'm afraid if we can't rectify this
situation im going to try to find sex
somewhere else, these thoughts are
occuring frequently lately, and its scary
since this kind of behaviour is not in my
nature. I'm hoping someone can give me
some insight on how to change things
around. It would be GREATLY appreciated!
I have nearly the same problem as you. My
gf isn't able to enjoy sex as it hurts for
her. Only difference is that my gf does
want to, it just hurts for her.
Maybe your gf would have wanted to if it
didn't hurt, but it's not the case so she
associated sex to a painful experience and
isn't interested (anymore).
What we did is go see a specialist (a
'sexologue' in French but I suppose it's
the same in English) and she concluded
that my gf has 'vaginisme' (fr). This
means that she "locks herself up" whenever
anything approaches her sexually (in this
case, me) causing her vagina muscles to
tend and makes it very tight, nearly
impossible to enter.
Apparently, 'vaginisme' is caused by a
sexual event that disgusted the girl (not
necessarily penetration though) and made
her a psychologic protection against sex,
creating that "lock" mechanism. To make
her enjoy sex again, you may need to see a
therapist and find out what happened, why
and how she can trust sex again. (I'm
still and only talking about the
'vaginisme', I'm no doctor, I'm just
saying what me and my gf have).
Good luck.
|
Honekaur
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 56
Posted: 07-19-07 17:13pm
I don't think her body size has anything
to do with it. I'm 5'2" and I'm a normal
weight and I don't have any problems with
sex hurting. Women are meant to have
babies. Maybe you're not letting her
relax enough first? Sex sometimes hurts
me when my boyfriend wants to but I don't
(he just tries to shove it in), so then
I'm not lubricated. Try using some lube.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-19-07 17:17pm
she may not be lubriavted and this can be
causing her to hurt
try some lube for the sex thing and that
should help
also women normally do NOT have vaginal
orgasms which may be why she gets no
enjoyment from sex? some women say they
dont "feel anything"
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2607 Location: ,
Thanks: 17
Thanked:13
Posted: 07-19-07 17:36pm
has she gone to a doctor and see if he has
gynocological issue first? There is got to
be something.
