This will take a minute but please bare
with me for I am going bonkers trying to
understand my boyfriend of two years.
We met in April 2006. For one straight
year we were the perfect couple. There
was not a minute or day that we didn't
spend together unless we were at work. By
the way, we also work together. Please
don't be judgemental but I am management
and he is what we call craft. Anyway,
this didn't matter to me because he was
the best thing that had ever happened to
me, and I do not feel superior to anyone.
Things went great until the following
Jan/Feb when he became very irritable and
complained about every little thing. He
would rant and rave at work so much that I
was afraid he was going to be disciplined
by one of his supervisors. This went on
for about a month or so. Then he started
spending time alone on the farm, away from
me at the house in the city.
On his birthday in April 07 he just got up
one day and didn't come back. When I
asked what is going on, he had a list of
reasons why it wasn't working.........I
had no clue it wasn't working.
About two months passed and he showed up
one day saying that he thought he was
going crazy and that he needed help. I
took him to the mental health clinic and
they prescribed several different drugs
like Seroquel and Sertraline. At some
point they changed it to Abilify and
Amitryptiline. There have been others but
I did not write them down.
Again, this month, April 08, he has taken
off saying that it can't work because I
don't care about him, says I'm management
and all we do is use people, says I treat
others better than he, etc ,etc, etc.
Nothing good, as he sees it. Again, this
comes out of the blue after he has been
extremely irritable and restless and
stressing over fiannces (yet buying all
kinds of things)
Each time he goes he meets someone new in
a matter of days and thinks the world of
them. Belittles me verbally. Insist
that I did not love him, and never took
care of him the way a woman should, yet
bought me an engagement ring several
months prior.
I researched the meds in order to find out
what they are for. I know they are for
some type of mental illness but I don't
know if this is a true sign of being
bipolar or schizophrenic.
I do love him dearly and I thought he
loved me dearly, as well. He has done so
many nice things for me and my children
that I just cannot believe that he doesn't
care. Could I have been trapped in the
manic phase of his disorder or does this
even mimic the behavior of one who is
bipolar? Someone please help. I am
losing it myself trying to understand what
I did wrong.
|
Fessie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Apr 2008 Posts: 7
Can someone please respond Posted: 04-15-08 10:02am
Please review this post and tell me if
this behavior mimics bipolar disorder.
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 852 Location: IL
Thanks: 40
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-15-08 12:34pm
Hi. This behavior does sound like bipolar
disorder. The medications you mentioned
are meds that are used to treat bipolar
disorder.
Spring time can be a difficult time for
people with bipolar disorder, especially
if they are unstable. Many people
experience extreme mood swings with the
change of season. This can result in a
manic or depressive episode that is
extreme. A medication review may be
necessary to bring some stability to his
life. In my opinion he sounds like he is
manic at the moment. Running off, getting
involved in another relationship, the
paranoid thinking... all these behaviors
are symptoms of bipolar disorder.
You can wait for him. He may decide to
come back. If that is the case you should
lay out the boundaries and insist that he
get back to a doctor.
I wish I had more to offer you. He needs
help. I hope he seeks the medical
attention he needs.
Thank-you for the response. It has been
such a roller coaster these past few weeks
that I don't know if I am coming or going.
What I do know is that I truly miss him.
I miss the man that I fell in love with.
I can't help but wonder if he was in a
manic state when I met him???
Waiting is not something that my mind
tells me to do, but on the othe hand, my
heart says I will. Love cannot be turned
off so suddenly. I guess that is why I
am having such a hard time dealing with
this. I just cannot phantom him blocking
me out just like that. Not the man I
know. Are there any ways to get through
to a person who suddenly believes you are
the enemy? What approach is there to even
get close to him? Is there any approach?
I send him a text message every few days
asking if he's OK. He
responds.........doing OK, hope you
too????
If I had not witnessed the doctor
interviewing him last year and took note
of the medicines that were prescribed, Id
be thinking that this man was the greatest
actor that ever lived. Somehow, I know
that this was no act. It was real.
Do other people experience the same type
problems with their significant other? or
am I the only one in this nightmare?
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 852 Location: IL
Thanks: 40
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-15-08 23:45pm
You are not alone. There are many people
that live with a significant other that
has bipolar disorder. You are right - it
is a roller coaster ride. You are unable
to stop it and it feels like you have zero
control of your life.
Eventually, his moods will level out. That
may be the time he decides to come back
home. You should seek some help for
yourself. Find a psychologist or counselor
that has experience in bipolar disorder.
There are support groups out there - www.
nami.org lists practitioners by state.
This may give you some leads to finding
someone you can talk to. You may get some
very good advice and ideas about how to
handle this situation. Hopefully, you will
be ready and able to sort this out by the
time he decides to come home.
You are not alone. Many people live with
someone that has bipolar disorder. The
mood disorder will run everyone's lives if
the individual is not stable. Do what you
can to take back some control in your
life. Educate yourself. I don't know if he
met you during a manic phase or not but
you feel something for this man. You can
be there and offer him support, if he will
allow it.
I hope you find a group and a therapist. I
think these options are your best chance
at finding a way to help him and yourself.
All the best. Let us know how it is going.
You sound so much like my daughter with
her advice. She is graduating college in
May. Did some research papers on mental
illness. It's funny, she saw that
soemthing was going terribly wrong with
him before I did. I guess love is truly
blinding like they say. She loves him
too. He has done everything he could to
help her while she has been in school
these past two years that we have known
him. Gave her a car for Christmas in 06.
I have been searching for a good
therapist. A part of me has been afraid
to seek help for fear that I would be
looked down on. With her coaching, I
decided to make an appointment. I really
need to be able to talk about this. This
past month I have tried to move on with my
life but it seems that I am stuck on one
page of a book and can't find the next
chapter. Tried going out to meet new
people like he does but it doesn't work
like that for me.
Today is his birthday.......sent him a
text message (because he seems not to want
to talk) told him happy birthday and have
a great day. He immediately sends back
and says " thank-you, you too.......God
Bless You". He is catholic and I know he
has a strong belief in God but he has
never used that phrase since I've known
him.
Each time that I do try to communicate, he
keeps it short and to the point! His
motorcycle that he cherishes is still here
in the garage. I know he loves that bike
but he hasn't come back to get it yet.
That in itself is unbelievable because
that bike means the world to him. The
car that he bought my daughter, it is
still in his name because the insurance
was so much cheaper in his name and her as
a driver.
He says he wants it out of his name,but he
won't come by to do the transfer at the
sec of states office. ?????
I have an appointment to talk with someone
late next week. They asked if I were on
meds and I said no, I needed guidance for
someone who is. I guess then they didn't
feel that it was urgent enough to see me
any sooner!!!
I see you are from Illinois. I am
originally from Illinois. Not born there
but raised there. Have 9 siblings.
Hopefully this question won't offend you
but how do you know so much about Bipolar
Disorder?
Thanks for your responses. They really
help.
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antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 852 Location: IL
Thanks: 40
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-16-08 19:38pm
You do not offend me in any way. I have 4
sons and 2 of them are bipolar. You talk
about learning by the seat of your pants!
I am a registered nurse but mental health
was not my bag. I was fascinated by the
illnesses but I was not as enamored by the
actual cases and patients. Well, now I get
to live it! Somehow there is a joke of
fate in this but many days I am
incredulous that I live with these very
needy kids. Another of my boys has a
learning disability and is ADHD. I told my
husband we are a poor genetic match.
Try to find a support group as well.
People who live with this disorder have
some of the most sage and practical
advice. They have been there and know what
you are dealing with. I need to find a
group for myself but they meet when my
husband is working and I don't dare leave
them alone for too long a period of time.
I have a brother that needs help but
refuses to go to a doctor. He is a
brilliant guy but works at a job way
beneath his level of expertise. I think it
is due to his inability to express himself
well. His thoughts fire so rapidly he
can't keep them straight. I have
approached him several times but with no
success. All I can do is keep trying and
help him pick up the pieces of his life.
Your guy will have to come back and take
care of business. You can focus on
educating yourself and having a strategy
thought out so you can handle the
situation when he does come back.
This behavior he has displayed is very
typical manic behavior. When the dust
settles and he can think clearly he will
go where he feels safe-home.
I hope I have helped you. You can pm me if
you like. I will check back here and see
how you are doing. Keep us updated.
How do I pm you? I'm new at this and I
guess I need some help.
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 852 Location: IL
Thanks: 40
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-16-08 23:18pm
Fessie,
Click on my signature Antigone in the
upper left corner, left of the subject
line. This will bring you to my profile
page. On the left side of the page there
is a menu. Go to the 3rd selection "Send
her a message". This will allow you to
private message me. Look forward to
hearing from you.
Sent two messages. I know I didn't do the
first one right, but did you get the
second?
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 852 Location: IL
Thanks: 40
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-17-08 00:35am
Got it. Check your inbox in private
messages.
|
antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 852 Location: IL
Thanks: 40
Thanked:15
Posted: 04-17-08 00:40am
Just reply to my message and I'll get it.
|
Ringmaster Tara
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
Hi I am new here Posted: 04-29-08 16:18pm
Hi, my name is Tara and about 2 months
ago, I was diagnosed with BP. For the
past 6 years, I have been treated for only
depression.....I am on 40MG of Prozac a
day. Now that I am diag with BP, my
doctor has put me on 200mgs of Seroquel at
night. I have found that the Seroquel has
helped with my sleepless nights....but I
am having a hard time because I used to be
on 10mg of Ambien at night.....I am just
wondering if anyone has had similar probs
or if anyone has any advice for me!
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