Wasnt worried but now I am. Pregnancy? I cant have a kid Posted: 07-06-08 04:08am
Hello, im 18 and I live in Los Angeles,
California. I am not a Columbia student,
but I'm dating a girl right now who is 26.
She is not from here but from Korea she is
a student at the same college I go to.
We have been dating for a few months now,
and we have had sex two times without
using protection. The way it works is,
usually we are just kissing and things
before and I go in for 1 or 2 minutes
without putting on the condom. I stop
before I get near feeling like finishing,
and I put one on.
I dont use the withdrawal method I have
always finished with a condom stopping
without finishing, in the beginning of the
sexual intercourse. Sometimes, during
foreplay, there is some precum (I guess
thats what it is) coming out from the tip
just a little bit. This probably might
have occured during the beginning times I
didnt have a condom on? This occured after
her last period maybe 1 week or a little
more after it ended. maybe 2-3 weeks ago.
I have since, (because of fear) always
used a condom without even beginning to
start without one. She says she expects
her period to be around the 10th of this
July So im waiting.
Sorry for the long intro, my question is a
couple days ago I called her a couple days
ago, and she didnt sound good. So i asked
her is she sick. Then because of my fear i
asked her had she thrown up. And she asked
me how did i know. I asked her why she
threw up and she said "Sometimes when im
oversensitive i throw up, or when i think
ive eaten too much"
Its like pulling teeth to get information
out of her, And i really am starting to
become frusturated and resentful. She is
shy, and likes to avoid conflicts, but
this isnt something I can live with "Lets
take our time" kind of stuff. THis is a
VERY serious issue, and I am a straight
forward kind of guy.
She said not to worry, Its not what i
Think but i am worrying. I am planning on
waiting to see if she gets her period as
planned, but I am not trying to stress her
because I hear that can cause a late
period..
So basically, she was vomiting a couple
days ago. (Im not sure how much or how
frequently she does this or has done this,
apparently its "usual" according to her)
I left her house this morning, and she
went back to sleep again a few hours after
I left. This also raised my fear because I
hear women pregnant can be fatigued.
Originally before the vomiting I heard
about, I wasnt worried at all pretty much.
Because she told me her last boyfriend
never used one and pulled out all the
time. So I thought, well I dont do
anything like that so this definately
shouldnt occur to me.
She was coughing and stuff last night and
this morning Im not sure if its just
sickness like cold or flu or what i think.
I pray that it is not. Please help me
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worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 695 Location: ,
Thanks: 64
Thanked:7
Posted: 07-06-08 10:14am
I'm pretty sure if she were pregnant the
symptoms wouldn't start THAT soon...plus
you need to stop asking her and prodding
her for information bc she won't know if
shes pregnant until she misses her
period(on the 10th) so right now, bugging
her about it WILL only stress her out..the
reason she probably isn't talking about it
is bc she doesn't want you to get all
worked up over nothing if she isn't
pregnant..I'm sure if she is and when she
finds out she will tell you..but you
should probably relax..u stressing out is
probably only going to make it worse for
her...she can buy a pregnancy test and
test 5 days before her missed period if
she doesn't want to wait(which she should
be able to buy one now and it be accurate)
also..ANY time you have unprotected sex
there is a risk of pregnancy...even if its
only for a minute or two..like you said,
there is precum and its a risk...if I were
you I'd talk to her about going on birth
control so you two don't run into this
problem anymore, helps ease your mind
definitely
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appleslices
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2008 Posts: 3
Posted: 07-06-08 12:35pm
i know what you mean..about me asking her
and stuff. you're right.
But even still, I mean dont you believe
that something like this, is WORTH being
worried about? I Know you said she
probably doesnt want me to get worked up
if she isnt, but its a toss up. I dont
know I always think better safe then
sorry, and since im already even in this
situation I already thinking ahead if the
worst thing occurs.
you're right she should mention to me if
she happened to miss it or anything, but
lets be honest. Some girls (and probably
men sometimes but in this situation pretty
much jus women) like to hide things from
their bf/dating partner etc. Because they
are "scared" or something like that. This
is what concerns me. Just the whole way
she came off about the situation as if it
was some non-important thing really made
me uncomfortable.
I would think a woman would be more
concerned about this than me, but maybe to
her its not important, either way we arent
on the same page obviously. So im hoping
there is no problems, then I will probably
have to just stop dating her completely or
rarely. :/
It's sad but I'd rather have someone
honest and upfront, because I wouldnt have
to PROD if she would just answer me
instead of ignoring/avoiding/etc. (by
the way I wasnt asking her if she was
pregnant I was just asking her, about the
stuff she told me, her throwing up,
feeling sick, and i noticed her sleeping
like 4 hrs after waking up etc)
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_tanya_
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 May 2008 Posts: 304 Location: Toronto
Thanks: 19
Thanked:5
Posted: 07-06-08 13:20pm
What is there to be honest about? She
isn't due for her period yet so why would
she be worrying? Guess what you don't get
pregnancy symptoms this early so her
vomiting and sleeping have nothing to do
with a possible pregnancy. I imagine she
knows this and that is why she's not
concerned. I think your concern stems from
being a male who is not fully educated in
how pregnancy symptoms begin to manifest.
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worrywart01
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 695 Location: ,
Thanks: 64
Thanked:7
Posted: 07-06-08 15:41pm
worrying really isn't going to get you
anywhere...whats it going to do for you? I
can see why you would be concerned
BUT...you said something about wanting
someone to be honest and upfront with you
and truthful...HOW can she be truthful if
she doesn't know yet!!!! you're pushing
for an answer that you wont have until the
date she misses/gets her period...unless
she buys a test...YOU seem to be the one
flipping out about this so how about you
go to the store...buy her a test..and tell
her your concerns about her possibly being
pregnant before you have a mental
breakdown...IF the test is positive and
she turns up pregnant..then i guess you
two will go from there...if not, you'll
realize that all of this flipping out has
done nothing but wear you out
and please...wear a condom everytime from
now on, unless you want to feel this way
again!
