Broken Hearted Forum - What do I do?

You don't say how old you are, but based on some clues you're at least post-secondary school.

I'm sorry that things have fallen apart with your gf. I know how much it hurts when things that seemed so right have gone so wrong (I'm going through this myself).

The religion thing can be a deal-breaker--it might be different if you were of the same faith but different denominations (i.e., Christian Presbyterian and Christian Lutheran). She may have wanted to fight for you all she could but parents can be very powerful and she may have bowed to their wishes.

As far as mending fences with her, I wouldn't count on it. It appears she's doing everything she can to let you know it's over. Hanging around and hoping will do you no good, as life will pass you by.

So, as hard as it is to do, you have to start moving on. It's perfectly OK to mourn the loss of a relationship, even cry, yell, stomp your feet (just don't kick any of the pets). Whatever you have to do.

Do you have a support network of friends? If so, now is the time to get in contact with them. They may be able to offer you some help and insight. Spending time with them will get you out of the house and away from your misery.

How to move on? Get some stability back into your life. Take up a new interest: get into exercise, learn a new sport, get active in your faith (don't know if "Orthodox" means "Orthodox Jew" or "Orthodox Christian" or something else). Maybe you can get one of your friends to be your "personal trainer"--someone who will "make" you keep promises to yourself (like keeping interest in whatever you've decided to learn). There will be times you won't want to do anything and that's understandable. Problem is, it's too easy to fall into the rut and prolong your agony.

Don't rush into any new relationship--you need a real breather from this one to assess what happened and why. It's very easy to feel insecure when a relationship starts because you don't want to lose that person and you want to know where they are every second. After awhile that can be like prison and no one wants that. You've learned that lesson.

Become friends with yourself. If you can't accept yourself for who you are, you'll never accept anyone (I'm not saying you're intolerant!). There's a difference between being "alone" and "lonely"--you can be "lonely" in a group of people and be pefectly happy being "alone". If you can find happiness in being alone that's half the game.

I've gone through my share of heartbreaks and I am a slow healer. Every time something ended it took me about five years to try again (I know your eyes are probably very big when you read that). I was very fortunate, however. I had male and female friends who were absolutely wonderful and over time I realized that I didn't necessarily need anyone to make my life complete. I would take my happiness when and where I found it.

You *will* get over her but you have to make a determined effort. The first few steps are brutally awful but once you get started things will get easier.

I hope this helps.

Good luck and keep posting.